How online life shapes youth brain development before 25
The entry into adulthood is typically marked by turning 18, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the mind is fully mature. The prefrontal cortex of the brain—responsible for our cognitive control, stress response, and executive function—isn’t all grown up until age 25. This means that childhood and adolescence is a critical time for brain development. Its progress can be hindered, though, by a variety of environmental factors like nutrition, drugs, illness, toxins, and yes, online experiences. How life online influences brain development When we encounter various stimuli in our lives, from a cute baby’s smile to the sting of a bee, various receptors in our brain begin to learn when something is pleasurable vs. painful. Over time, we form strong neural pathways that encourage us to seek out more of what feels good versus what hurts us. However, these pleasure/pain reactions aren’t limited to things we can touch. Digital experiences can have the same type of impact on our brains. Each time our kids pick up their phones or open TikTok, they’re presented with bright colors, noisy notifications, and videos that are curated to their tastes—or intentionally designed to make them feel a specific emotion. I’ll do a deep dive into how this works in a future article, but at a top level, this screen time plays a significant role in building and altering neural pathways by delivering a sense of reward or pleasure. These pathways are responsible for things like attention, memory recall, and emotional regulation. It happens to adults, too. Have you ever caught yourself picking up your phone to check for notifications even when you know you didn’t hear a ping or feel a buzz? That’s your brain seeking a hit of dopamine, the chemical that is released when we experience something pleasurable. Does all screen time impact brain development? Of course, there are many good aspects of our kids having access to the internet, including educational resources, easy communication with loved ones, and exposure to other people and cultures. But extended exposure to blue light from screens (even if it’s from schoolwork!) can make it harder for kids to fall and stay asleep. This lack of sleep can negatively impact the health of kids’ brains and bodies—plus make it harder to pay attention in school. Can internet use hurt kids' brains in the long term? We’re still learning what the long-term effects of the internet may be on developing brains. Right now, we are seeing some negative impacts on older kids and teens' decision-making abilities, attention span, and ability to switch between different tasks (aka cognitive flexibility). And even positive online interactions—like talking with friends and family—may not engage our brains in as many healthy ways as face-to-face chats and activities do. Luckily, though, neural pathways aren’t set in stone. We can strengthen and weaken our neural pathways over time by changing our behavior. If you notice that your child is displaying signs of screen addiction or is struggling to balance family, school, and gaming with friends, it’s not too late to make healthy changes. Support your child's healthy brain development The answer isn’t to ban kids from using all digital devices—they’re essential for school and preparing to work and live in a connected world. It’s essential, though, that kids grow up knowing how to balance their online and offline lives. Doing so will help them create the right skill sets (and neural pathways!) to be a healthy adult. Here are a few tips to make that happen: Create a screen time balance and healthy digital media boundaries for the whole family. Be aware of what your kids are consuming online. Conversation is invaluable, but you can also rely on the assistance of apps that clue you in to possible in-game cyberbullying or excessive screen time. Encourage screen time use for educational content instead of social media and games. When screen time requires school-age kids to use their brain in a variety of ways, versus scrolling, it can support positive cognitive growth. Build offline hobbies and experiences that the whole family can enjoy together. Work on being a good digital role model—a little less screen time and scrolling on social media can help everyone’s brain health, no matter their age. My goal here—and in future brain health articles I’ll publish on DigitalParenthood.com—is to help you feel empowered about supporting your kids’ healthy development in an online world. If you’re worried and have questions, though, you can always visit our Ask an Expert section for more advice, or connect with other parents in our discussion forum.21Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.49Views0likes0CommentsHelp uncover how technology impacts youth well-being
As a child psychologist, I’ve spent decades working with families to address the challenges kids face today—especially when it comes to focus, emotional well-being, and healthy screen time habits. These issues have only intensified in our fast-paced, technology-driven world. That’s why I’m excited to invite you to join a groundbreaking study that explores how kids' digital habits are related to their mental health and well-being. This research, sponsored by Aura, will help us get answers to hard questions about how tech use is impacting kids' development and ultimately help us improve the tools we have to help kids and their parents navigate in the digital world. Participants in the study will be asked to use the Aura app and complete questionnaires and surveys. Use of the Aura app as part of the study is free and kids and their parents will be compensated for completing study measures. Take a look at the video below for more information. You can also get info about the study at get.aura.com/techwise By joining the study, you’ll not only contribute to advancing science but also receive practical strategies to help your child thrive emotionally and academically. Together, we can make a difference for families everywhere. Interested? Visit Aura’s website to learn more and sign up. Let’s shape a brighter, healthier future for our children—one step at a time.22Views0likes0CommentsNavigating technology to promote resilience and self-esteem
A teenager’s online world can be a safe space to explore who they are, connect with likeminded people, and even find valuable resources for mental well-being. But teens can also encounter online bullies, negative comments, heavily filtered images, and other tricky-to-navigate situations that have a resounding offline impact…including lowering self-esteem. How does technology affect self-esteem? The biggest impacts often come from online conversations and comments, as well as the content your teen consumes. On the one hand, a lot of a teen’s online interactions can be really positive. Chatting on Discord while gaming, sharing style tips on Instagram, and Snapchatting with friends all allow your teen to explore who they are. This plays a part in the development of their self-image—and a healthy self-image developed online can improve offline confidence. Teens may even turn to their online communities for invaluable support. TikTok has its own mental well-being guide, and there are countless mental health resources shared by other users on the platform, too. On the other hand, the internet is a vast place, and it isn’t all positive. Your teen could encounter misinformation (which they are more likely to believe than adults) or heavily filtered, edited images that contribute to a warped sense of self or body image. Our comparison group used to be our immediate community and peers. Now, we can compare what we have, what we look like, and our abilities to unmatchable standards and to people with extraordinarily different means. Some studies have shown that exposure to edited images—and easy access to tools that enable physical tweaks on selfies—may lead to teens feeling less satisfied with their appearance. What about cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a genuine concern, too. Think about how overwhelming your own phone can be with pings and dings from your friends, family, and work. Now imagine that you know a portion of those notifications are going to be critiquing you. It’d be hard not to start feeling bad about yourself. Online bullying can occur on a large, even public, scale. It’s a far cry from dealing with schoolyard bullies, and teens today may find that mean comments, images, or threats from total strangers are wearing down their self-esteem. Extracurriculars can help teens build good self-esteem Balancing online and offline time is of course important, but what your teen does in that time can make a big difference. Extracurriculars are a great way for teens to explore more of their interests and take healthy risks like trying a new sport or auditioning for the school play. Whether your teen enjoys football, music, painting, or something else, offline clubs support their identity exploration and give them a chance to develop new skills. Extracurriculars don’t need to mean joining a team or club, or spending lots of money. Your teen can even merge offline extracurriculars and hobbies with online life, too—like attending a video game meetup at the local library or exploring forms of digital art through YouTube tutorials. Other ways parents can support teens’ self-esteem As always, communication is key. This includes both letting your teen know you’re here for them if they’re feeling low and having open dialogue about internet and device use boundaries. Teens are collaborative and creative on the boundary topic if you ask them during calm moments. By agreeing on these guidelines together (including when they’ll get more, or less, access) you can help to protect your kids online and reduce arguments down the line. You can also: Keep social networks small and private. Limiting your teens’ online circles to real world friends and family won’t stop all bullying, but it can reduce it. Explore ways to learn and be creative with technology. From online classes to “painting” with digital apps like Procreate, there are many ways to turn screen time into an engaging experience. Make sure your teen knows how to find reliable mental health resources. These could range from online forums to apps that connect you with licensed therapists. Social media is a common spot to find mental health resources now, but it’s important to learn how to evaluate if the source is reliable. Discuss digital literacy and how to identify misinformation. Common Sense Media’s guide on teaching kids about misinformation is a helpful place to start—they even link to games that you can play with kids to help them learn. Create time for online activities together. You’ll have to follow your teen’s lead on this one, as not all teenagers want to bring their parents into their online worlds. That’s okay, as long as you’re confident they’re staying safe online. But if they’re open to your involvement, you could explore new games, videos, and communities together. Finally, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs of worsening self-esteem. If you notice your teen is more distressed after using their device, eating habits change or you see an increase in negative self-talk, talk with them to learn about what’s going on and consider seeking help from a therapist. To learn more about tech addiction—and its impact on developing minds—visit our resource center or Ask an Expert here on DigitalParenthood.com.37Views0likes0CommentsIs all risk-taking bad in adolescence?
As a mom, I know how strong the urge to protect our children from risk and harm is. But as a clinical psychologist, I also know that some level of risk-taking behavior is important for young people to grow up into responsible, ready-for-anything young adults. What I’m saying is that risk-taking can actually be really positive. Think about when your child was learning to walk—they explored their boundaries: how far they can go, with what level of support, inevitably stumbling and falling along the way. With your guidance and practice, each time getting a little stronger and more balanced. You knew those small falls were part of the process to help them eventually run. Now imagine if you never let them take that risk to walk alone and maybe miscalculate their ability along the way. The same is true in adolescence—taking some safe risks now builds the decision-making and resilience they'll need to navigate bigger challenges later. Without those early stumbles, they'd struggle to find their footing when it really matters. Because teens' risk-taking is typically fueled by the desire for new experiences, it's part of healthy development. Risk is essential for learning to navigate challenges—and without it, teens miss out. Allowing them to explore through risk, and make mistakes, is key to safe growth. Risk supports the developing prefrontal cortex in teenage brains, and it strengthens new skills along with cognitive control, self-regulation, impulse control and decision-making. Healthy vs. unhealthy teenage risk Let’s talk about what makes a risk “healthy” or not. Healthy risky behavior might result in a feeling of embarrassment or frustration, but the teen stands to gain greater benefit than loss for taking the risk. These risks are considered “adaptive” or socially-acceptable. This is the kind of risk that comes with having new experiences and going outside of one’s comfort zone, like trying out for a new sports team, signing up for a challenging class, or approaching a new social group at school. This can also include the risks associated with defending a peer from a bully. We can even argue that disobeying mom and dad sometimes falls under the umbrella of “healthy risk,” frustrating as it may be. Unhealthy risky behavior for any age group can have serious physical, mental, or real-world legal harm. These risks may include things like substance abuse, unprotected sex, or driving recklessly. It’s still normal for teens to take some unhealthy risks as part of experimentation and peer influence—and to experience the consequences. But if unhealthy risks become habitual and are the norm, then they may suffer long-lasting effects like social isolation, legal trouble, poor grades, or challenges getting into schools or jobs of choice. In other words, trying alcohol is not the same as driving drunk. Pay attention to what it is, how much, the frequency, the setting, and the outcomes. Observing changes in behavior, like increased secrecy, withdrawal from family, or sudden shifts in social circles, can also be warning signs of unhealthy risk-taking. Is risk-taking more dangerous in a digitally connected world? There are certainly positive forms of risk-taking that happen online, including connecting with new social groups and exploring different facets of personal identity. But smartphone data and social media apps can mean there’s a traceable, long-lasting record of teens’ triumphs, mistakes, and risks, far more so than twenty years ago. Teens’ brains are wired to explore their social environment and also weigh risk and rewards differently than adults. That means it’ss up to us as parents to help them develop digital literacy and keep warnings about digital longevity front and center in kids’ minds so they can safely explore online. How to monitor and discuss adolescent risk-taking behavior Regular conversations and keeping an eye out for changes in behavior can go a long way. To recap: Check-in with your kids about how things are going in their world. Talk about how to say no to unhealthy risks, and how to be careful online. Keep an eye out for changes in behavior that can signal an unhealthy risk pattern or other emotional distress. Create a safe environment for your kids to come to you with concerns or fears about risk and consequences. Make your teen an active part of discussions and decision-making around safety. Coming up with age-appropriate boundaries and approaching the process from a place of support, not control is important. The last thing I want to remind you of is to take some time to check in with yourself regularly and assess how you’re feeling. If you find that your own anxiety levels continue to spike as your teens grow and explore the world, there’s help available. Professional therapists and parental support groups can be a lifeline when you're struggling with increasing or overwhelming anxiety. When you’re able to manage your own emotions, you’ll be better prepared to help your teens navigate their changing worlds.41Views0likes0CommentsBeyond the Screen: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly on DigitalParenthood.com to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.21Views0likes0CommentsWhat's Keeping Me Up: The Roblox Report🎥
Hey all, Dr. Scott here! The media was abuzz this week with the news of a report released by short-selling investigative firm Hindenburg Research. The report claims that Roblox is a "pedophile hellscape for kids." As the father of two gamers, this concerns me, so I sat down with them to get their thoughts. Hear what we have to say at the video below, and sound off in the comments on what you think of the latest report. Will this change any rules you have with your kids as it relates to time spent on Roblox?140Views1like2CommentsWhat’s Keeping Me Up: Sextortion
The Scoop: Sextortion is a disturbing phenomenon that has escalated in the digital age, impacting countless young lives. It involves coercing individuals, often children, into providing explicit images or engaging in other sexual activities online, and then threatening exposure. Predators prey on the vulnerabilities of young people, using their fears and insecurities to manipulate them into compliance. According to the FBI, reports of financially motivated sextortion involving minors increased at least 20% from October 2022 to March 2023. The Big Picture: It’s not always a creepy online stranger upfront—often, these predators pose as friendly peers who just want to chat. As both a clinician and a father, the growing prevalence of this form of exploitation deeply troubles me. The science behind sextortion reveals a complex interplay of psychological manipulation and digital threats. Studies show that victims often experience severe emotional and psychological distress, which can have lasting effects on their mental health. Unfortunately, there are no foolproof ways to completely avoid becoming a target. Even if a teen refuses to send explicit images, predators can steal photos from social media and create fake explicit content with new technologies, like deepfakes, to use as leverage. My Advice: Have open and frequent conversations with your children about online safety from the moment they start using the internet. This should include age-appropriate discussions about sextortion. It's important to approach these talks without shame or judgment, focusing instead on educating your child about the risks of online interactions and image-sharing. ‘The Talk’ once centered around physical health, consent and relationships. Today, it also encompasses issues related to digital interactions, like sexting, online privacy, and the risks of exploitation and manipulation. Don’t wait to have it. If you or someone you know is being sexually exploited online, report it to the CyberTipline operated by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, or contact them directly at contactgethelp@ncmec.org or 1-800-THE-LOST. For international assistance, use the InHope hotline directory to find your local hotline.146Views6likes2CommentsMental Health Day Report: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) here on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly here to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.88Views2likes0CommentsNavigating teenhood: How developmental jobs shape teen identities
The first time your teenager decides they know better or more than you, it can leave you feeling taken aback. It feels like they were a baby the other day—now they’re convinced you’re wrong about everything. As surprising and frustrating as this is, it’s healthy behavior. Pushing back on boundaries, exploring new opinions, weighing friends’ opinions over parents, and even taking risks are part of how teenagers tackle key developmental jobs. What are developmental jobs? When your children are young, it’s clear that they’re not adults—from their physical size to how they talk, it’s easier to see them and not expect them to think the way you do as their parent. The distinction between “child” and “adult” can blur as your kids hit their teenage years. Not only are some teens as tall as (or taller than!) adults, but they may also express that they “aren’t a child” anymore. They’re capable of so much more and at times they may sound like an adult. The thing is, adolescence is its own sensitive period of development that is uniquely different from childhood and adulthood. Their brains are primed to respond and weigh information differently than adults. It’s not that they can’t think about the future, it’s that they are biologically primed to weigh those risks differently than adults. During the teen years, this progress is marked by several “developmental jobs.” Different tasks and challenges shape each job, including: Forming an identity. Who are they separate from their parents (or peers) in the world? This can involve exploring different styles of dress, social groups, ways of speaking, music, to their online identity and more. Developing autonomy. As teens explore unique identities, they develop a better sense of how to make decisions for themselves. This journey is essential for their ability to navigate life independently as adults. Building relationships. Adolescence is also the time of exploring new friendships and even romantic connections. As parents, it’s okay to set some boundaries to keep your kids safe—but know that this type of exploration is an expected part of growing up. Setting goals. By high school, many teens are thinking about what the next few years will look like. They’re also setting goals for both the immediate and distant future. Regulating emotions. As your teen takes on different roles—child, sibling, student, teammate, employee—they’ll begin practicing ways to balance stress, responsibility, and new emotions. This process isn’t always smooth sailing, but it’s an important part of development. How do teens tackle these developmental jobs? In the past—and you can think back to your own teen years here—a lot of this developmental work happened offline. We tested new styles, friend groups, jobs, and attitudes at school or popular gathering places for our peers. Today, a typical teen’s focus is still the same: they’re prioritizing friends, exploring new hobbies, and trying out new strategies for coping with difficult situations. Only now, they’re doing a lot of this exploration online. As a result, your teen might be trying to create curated profiles they present to the world. And you may notice that their interests, or the way they present themselves to others, changes rapidly during the teenage years. Even though teens do create plans and goals for their immediate future, long-term planning looks different for a teen and an adult. And it should. How to support your teen’s healthy development The trick to supporting your teen’s development is to provide guidance for safe exploration to occur, while not stifling the process of exploration. It’s a tricky line to walk, but these tips can help. Understand why they’re prioritizing friends. Remember, adolescence is an important period for social communication and relationship building, which means peers (and their opinions) begin to matter a lot more. This is how teens form an identity that’s separate from their parents and crucial to helping them grow into functioning adults. Become familiar with your teens’ favorite apps. Get familiar with your teen's favorite apps. In today's digital age, socializing happens as much online as in person. Just as parents once knew where their kids were physically—like at the mall or movies—it's now essential to know where they are virtually. You might see your teen scrolling on TikTok in their room, but do you really know where they're hanging out online? Whether you read up on their favorite platform or ask them to show you how to set up a profile, understanding their "hangout spots" can ease concerns about cyberbullying and help you set necessary boundaries. Build healthy social media habits together. While online exploration is a big part of today’s teenhood, it’s still important to know when it’s time to log off. By making healthy social media habits a family project, you can be a good digital role model for your teen. Give advice when your teen requests it. Problem-solving and critical thinking are both skills we want to foster throughout development, but it can be difficult to not provide our opinions too quickly before our kids have a chance to figure it out themselves. In my clinical practice, I recommend that parents approach topics of potential concern with their teen with curiosity first. Try to understand their perspective and when it’s safe, give them room to figure it out themselves. This approach can actually make it more likely that they will come to you with advice sometimes. When they ask, they’re more likely to hear and incorporate your input (as opposed to offering it up when you see them doing or wearing something that you think is a mistake). You’re giving them the space they need to test different techniques and work through emotions. Decide where you can grant them more autonomy. As kids grow, we naturally want them to take on more household chores and responsibilities. While it can be rewarding to hand over these tasks, it's often harder to loosen control in other areas, like school or social life. However, this kind of growth outside the home is just as important. Gradually increasing autonomy helps teens develop into independent adults, so it's essential to evaluate where they can take on more decision-making as they get older. As parents, just when you figure out one stage, a new one begins—especially during adolescence. As your teen discovers who they are, we must continually adapt our support through each phase of their development. But remember, you're not alone. There are resources and discussions to help right here on DigitalParenthood.com, with more to come each week. Take a look around, and remember—healthy development takes time, regardless of age.26Views2likes0Comments