Is all risk-taking bad in adolescence?

As a mom, I know how strong the urge to protect our children from risk and harm is. But as a clinical psychologist, I also know that some level of risk-taking behavior is important for young people to grow up into responsible, ready-for-anything young adults. What I’m saying is that risk-taking can actually be really positive.

Think about when your child was learning to walk—they explored their boundaries: how far they can go, with what level of support, inevitably stumbling and falling along the way. With your guidance and practice, each time getting a little stronger and more balanced. You knew those small falls were part of the process to help them eventually run. Now imagine if you never let them take that risk to walk alone and maybe miscalculate their ability along the way. 

The same is true in adolescence—taking some safe risks now builds the decision-making and resilience they'll need to navigate bigger challenges later. Without those early stumbles, they'd struggle to find their footing when it really matters. Because teens' risk-taking is typically fueled by the desire for new experiences, it's part of healthy development. Risk is essential for learning to navigate challenges—and without it, teens miss out. Allowing them to explore through risk, and make mistakes, is key to safe growth. 

Risk supports the developing prefrontal cortex in teenage brains, and it strengthens new skills along with cognitive control, self-regulation, impulse control and decision-making.

Healthy vs. unhealthy teenage risk

Let’s talk about what makes a risk “healthy” or not.

Healthy risky behavior might result in a feeling of embarrassment or frustration, but the teen stands to gain greater benefit than loss for taking the risk. These risks are considered “adaptive” or socially-acceptable. This is the kind of risk that comes with having new experiences and going outside of one’s comfort zone, like trying out for a new sports team, signing up for a challenging class, or approaching a new social group at school. This can also include the risks associated with defending a peer from a bully.

We can even argue that disobeying mom and dad sometimes falls under the umbrella of “healthy risk,” frustrating as it may be.

Unhealthy risky behavior for any age group can have serious physical, mental, or real-world legal harm. These risks may include things like substance abuse, unprotected sex, or driving recklessly.

It’s still normal for teens to take some unhealthy risks as part of experimentation and peer influence—and to experience the consequences. But if unhealthy risks become habitual and are the norm, then they may suffer long-lasting effects like social isolation, legal trouble, poor grades, or challenges getting into schools or jobs of choice. In other words, trying alcohol is not the same as driving drunk.

Pay attention to what it is, how much, the frequency, the setting, and the outcomes. Observing changes in behavior, like increased secrecy, withdrawal from family, or sudden shifts in social circles, can also be warning signs of unhealthy risk-taking.

Is risk-taking more dangerous in a digitally connected world?

There are certainly positive forms of risk-taking that happen online, including connecting with new social groups and exploring different facets of personal identity. But smartphone data and social media apps can mean there’s a traceable, long-lasting record of teens’ triumphs, mistakes, and risks, far more so than twenty years ago. 

Teens’ brains are wired to explore their social environment and also weigh risk and rewards differently than adults. That means it’ss up to us as parents to help them develop digital literacy and keep warnings about digital longevity front and center in kids’ minds so they can safely explore online.

How to monitor and discuss adolescent risk-taking behavior

Regular conversations and keeping an eye out for changes in behavior can go a long way. To recap:

• Check-in with your kids about how things are going in their world. Talk about how to say no to unhealthy risks, and how to be careful online.
• Keep an eye out for changes in behavior that can signal an unhealthy risk pattern or other emotional distress. 
• Create a safe environment for your kids to come to you with concerns or fears about risk and consequences. 
• Make your teen an active part of discussions and decision-making around safety. Coming up with age-appropriate boundaries and approaching the process from a place of support, not control is important. 

The last thing I want to remind you of is to take some time to check in with yourself regularly and assess how you’re feeling. If you find that your own anxiety levels continue to spike as your teens grow and explore the world, there’s help available.

Professional therapists and parental support groups can be a lifeline when you're struggling with increasing or overwhelming anxiety. When you’re able to manage your own emotions, you’ll be better prepared to help your teens navigate their changing worlds.