What I Learned From My Child’s Screen Addiction

As a clinical psychologist, I focus on helping families create balanced relationships with technology to improve their digital well-being and mental health. For me, the reason is particularly personal—my own son has struggled with screen addiction.

What is screen addiction and why does it happen?

Screen addiction is entirely real: It has many of the same characteristics as any other substance  abuse or behavioral addiction. Some people have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors–in fact, researchers at Washington University in St. Louis analyzed genomic data from more than one million people and discovered inheritable genetic markers signaling addiction disorders. 

Other genetic traits can lead to dependency on different things, too. For example, children with ADHD may be more likely to develop screen addiction. This was my son’s experience as a child with both ADHD and autism. Many apps are designed to trigger our dopamine receptors, which send a pleasurable signal to the brain. Dopamine activity may be different in people who are neurodiverse—so this digital feedback can be particularly enticing to them. 

But the truth is, anyone can fall prey to the reward loop created by scrolling their favorite social media platform, though, especially a teen or young adult whose prefrontal cortex is still developing. Young people simply don't have the same level of impulse control as adults do. 

There can also be environmental changes that trigger a screen or video game addiction. In my son’s case, COVID pandemic-related school closures meant that his screen usage went way up. 

At first, his teachers said he was more involved than ever, and digital school seemed to suit his learning style. But soon, my son realized he could watch YouTube or browse the internet without his teacher noticing—as long as he was facing the camera, it looked like he was watching class on Zoom. 

By the time COVID restrictions eased, my son was deep into his digital world and not spending time pursuing the offline activities he once enjoyed. 

How I discovered my son’s screen addiction

Screen or internet addiction can resemble other dependencies, with constant urges to check devices and a “get-it-at-all-costs” mindset that can lead to rule-breaking or lying.

If your child is struggling with screen addiction, you might notice signs like exhaustion from excessive screen use and a gradual withdrawal from real-life activities. In my son’s case, I saw his reliance on technology grow alongside symptoms of anxiety and depression. When in-person school resumed, he began missing out on social interactions and academic events, even skipping lunch to find a computer.

The turning point came when we realized he was lying to get more screen time. That’s when we knew things had to change.

Recovery from screen addiction is a family affair

Our whole family has been involved in my son’s recovery from screen addiction. Since both of our kids are old enough, we include them in conversations about screen time, discussing their interests and online activities. Together, we’ve set clear boundaries on both time spent on screens and the types of content they consume.

We've also had to be flexible, balancing screen time for school and fun, especially during the school year. And we’re learning to set different boundaries based on each child’s needs. For example, my daughter has a phone to stay in touch during sports, but my son doesn’t have one right now—there isn't a communication need for him yet, and a phone might be too much too soon.

As a clinical psychologist, this experience has profoundly shaped my approach. It’s shown me the importance of distinguishing between responsible use, excessive use, and addiction. Now, I feel a renewed purpose in my work, contributing as both a doctor and a dad.

Help your kids develop healthy screen time habits

While there’s no guaranteed way to prevent screen addiction, there are a few things that can help:

• Have conversations with your kids early, and often. The American Academy of Pediatrics has some great resources that can help you start these talks.
• Create a shared media use agreement that the whole family will stick to. This can help to limit excessive use of screens and arguments about too much screen time.
• Learn to spot the signs of cyberbullying, which may also cause your child’s behavior to change and is different from addiction to electronic devices.
• Keep an eye out for the warning signs of screen addiction—you know your child best!

Finally, if you’re concerned that your kids are spending too much time online and aren’t sure how to handle it yourself, you can get help—by talking to other parents here on DigitalParenthood.com, asking our experts, and searching for a local clinician in your area who specializes in screen addiction. 

But above all else, know that if your child struggles with screen addiction it’s not a reflection on them, or on you as a parent. You are not alone, and you and your child can overcome screen addiction with help, patience, and communication.