How online life shapes youth brain development before 25
The entry into adulthood is typically marked by turning 18, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the mind is fully mature. The prefrontal cortex of the brain—responsible for our cognitive control, stress response, and executive function—isn’t all grown up until age 25. This means that childhood and adolescence is a critical time for brain development. Its progress can be hindered, though, by a variety of environmental factors like nutrition, drugs, illness, toxins, and yes, online experiences. How life online influences brain development When we encounter various stimuli in our lives, from a cute baby’s smile to the sting of a bee, various receptors in our brain begin to learn when something is pleasurable vs. painful. Over time, we form strong neural pathways that encourage us to seek out more of what feels good versus what hurts us. However, these pleasure/pain reactions aren’t limited to things we can touch. Digital experiences can have the same type of impact on our brains. Each time our kids pick up their phones or open TikTok, they’re presented with bright colors, noisy notifications, and videos that are curated to their tastes—or intentionally designed to make them feel a specific emotion. I’ll do a deep dive into how this works in a future article, but at a top level, this screen time plays a significant role in building and altering neural pathways by delivering a sense of reward or pleasure. These pathways are responsible for things like attention, memory recall, and emotional regulation. It happens to adults, too. Have you ever caught yourself picking up your phone to check for notifications even when you know you didn’t hear a ping or feel a buzz? That’s your brain seeking a hit of dopamine, the chemical that is released when we experience something pleasurable. Does all screen time impact brain development? Of course, there are many good aspects of our kids having access to the internet, including educational resources, easy communication with loved ones, and exposure to other people and cultures. But extended exposure to blue light from screens (even if it’s from schoolwork!) can make it harder for kids to fall and stay asleep. This lack of sleep can negatively impact the health of kids’ brains and bodies—plus make it harder to pay attention in school. Can internet use hurt kids' brains in the long term? We’re still learning what the long-term effects of the internet may be on developing brains. Right now, we are seeing some negative impacts on older kids and teens' decision-making abilities, attention span, and ability to switch between different tasks (aka cognitive flexibility). And even positive online interactions—like talking with friends and family—may not engage our brains in as many healthy ways as face-to-face chats and activities do. Luckily, though, neural pathways aren’t set in stone. We can strengthen and weaken our neural pathways over time by changing our behavior. If you notice that your child is displaying signs of screen addiction or is struggling to balance family, school, and gaming with friends, it’s not too late to make healthy changes. Support your child's healthy brain development The answer isn’t to ban kids from using all digital devices—they’re essential for school and preparing to work and live in a connected world. It’s essential, though, that kids grow up knowing how to balance their online and offline lives. Doing so will help them create the right skill sets (and neural pathways!) to be a healthy adult. Here are a few tips to make that happen: Create a screen time balance and healthy digital media boundaries for the whole family. Be aware of what your kids are consuming online. Conversation is invaluable, but you can also rely on the assistance of apps that clue you in to possible in-game cyberbullying or excessive screen time. Encourage screen time use for educational content instead of social media and games. When screen time requires school-age kids to use their brain in a variety of ways, versus scrolling, it can support positive cognitive growth. Build offline hobbies and experiences that the whole family can enjoy together. Work on being a good digital role model—a little less screen time and scrolling on social media can help everyone’s brain health, no matter their age. My goal here—and in future brain health articles I’ll publish on DigitalParenthood.com—is to help you feel empowered about supporting your kids’ healthy development in an online world. If you’re worried and have questions, though, you can always visit our Ask an Expert section for more advice, or connect with other parents in our discussion forum.21Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.49Views0likes0CommentsWhat I Learned From My Child’s Screen Addiction
As a clinical psychologist, I focus on helping families create balanced relationships with technology to improve their digital well-being and mental health. For me, the reason is particularly personal—my own son has struggled with screen addiction. What is screen addiction and why does it happen? Screen addiction is entirely real: It has many of the same characteristics as any other substance abuse or behavioral addiction. Some people have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors–in fact, researchers at Washington University in St. Louis analyzed genomic data from more than one million people and discovered inheritable genetic markers signaling addiction disorders. Other genetic traits can lead to dependency on different things, too. For example, children with ADHD may be more likely to develop screen addiction. This was my son’s experience as a child with both ADHD and autism. Many apps are designed to trigger our dopamine receptors, which send a pleasurable signal to the brain. Dopamine activity may be different in people who are neurodiverse—so this digital feedback can be particularly enticing to them. But the truth is, anyone can fall prey to the reward loop created by scrolling their favorite social media platform, though, especially a teen or young adult whose prefrontal cortex is still developing. Young people simply don't have the same level of impulse control as adults do. There can also be environmental changes that trigger a screen or video game addiction. In my son’s case, COVID pandemic-related school closures meant that his screen usage went way up. At first, his teachers said he was more involved than ever, and digital school seemed to suit his learning style. But soon, my son realized he could watch YouTube or browse the internet without his teacher noticing—as long as he was facing the camera, it looked like he was watching class on Zoom. By the time COVID restrictions eased, my son was deep into his digital world and not spending time pursuing the offline activities he once enjoyed. How I discovered my son’s screen addiction Screen or internet addiction can resemble other dependencies, with constant urges to check devices and a “get-it-at-all-costs” mindset that can lead to rule-breaking or lying. If your child is struggling with screen addiction, you might notice signs like exhaustion from excessive screen use and a gradual withdrawal from real-life activities. In my son’s case, I saw his reliance on technology grow alongside symptoms of anxiety and depression. When in-person school resumed, he began missing out on social interactions and academic events, even skipping lunch to find a computer. The turning point came when we realized he was lying to get more screen time. That’s when we knew things had to change. Recovery from screen addiction is a family affair Our whole family has been involved in my son’s recovery from screen addiction. Since both of our kids are old enough, we include them in conversations about screen time, discussing their interests and online activities. Together, we’ve set clear boundaries on both time spent on screens and the types of content they consume. We've also had to be flexible, balancing screen time for school and fun, especially during the school year. And we’re learning to set different boundaries based on each child’s needs. For example, my daughter has a phone to stay in touch during sports, but my son doesn’t have one right now—there isn't a communication need for him yet, and a phone might be too much too soon. As a clinical psychologist, this experience has profoundly shaped my approach. It’s shown me the importance of distinguishing between responsible use, excessive use, and addiction. Now, I feel a renewed purpose in my work, contributing as both a doctor and a dad. Help your kids develop healthy screen time habits While there’s no guaranteed way to prevent screen addiction, there are a few things that can help: Have conversations with your kids early, and often. The American Academy of Pediatrics has some great resources that can help you start these talks. Create a shared media use agreement that the whole family will stick to. This can help to limit excessive use of screens and arguments about too much screen time. Learn to spot the signs of cyberbullying, which may also cause your child’s behavior to change and is different from addiction to electronic devices. Keep an eye out for the warning signs of screen addiction—you know your child best! Finally, if you’re concerned that your kids are spending too much time online and aren’t sure how to handle it yourself, you can get help—by talking to other parents here on DigitalParenthood.com, asking our experts, and searching for a local clinician in your area who specializes in screen addiction. But above all else, know that if your child struggles with screen addiction it’s not a reflection on them, or on you as a parent. You are not alone, and you and your child can overcome screen addiction with help, patience, and communication.11Views0likes0CommentsNavigating technology to promote resilience and self-esteem
A teenager’s online world can be a safe space to explore who they are, connect with likeminded people, and even find valuable resources for mental well-being. But teens can also encounter online bullies, negative comments, heavily filtered images, and other tricky-to-navigate situations that have a resounding offline impact…including lowering self-esteem. How does technology affect self-esteem? The biggest impacts often come from online conversations and comments, as well as the content your teen consumes. On the one hand, a lot of a teen’s online interactions can be really positive. Chatting on Discord while gaming, sharing style tips on Instagram, and Snapchatting with friends all allow your teen to explore who they are. This plays a part in the development of their self-image—and a healthy self-image developed online can improve offline confidence. Teens may even turn to their online communities for invaluable support. TikTok has its own mental well-being guide, and there are countless mental health resources shared by other users on the platform, too. On the other hand, the internet is a vast place, and it isn’t all positive. Your teen could encounter misinformation (which they are more likely to believe than adults) or heavily filtered, edited images that contribute to a warped sense of self or body image. Our comparison group used to be our immediate community and peers. Now, we can compare what we have, what we look like, and our abilities to unmatchable standards and to people with extraordinarily different means. Some studies have shown that exposure to edited images—and easy access to tools that enable physical tweaks on selfies—may lead to teens feeling less satisfied with their appearance. What about cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a genuine concern, too. Think about how overwhelming your own phone can be with pings and dings from your friends, family, and work. Now imagine that you know a portion of those notifications are going to be critiquing you. It’d be hard not to start feeling bad about yourself. Online bullying can occur on a large, even public, scale. It’s a far cry from dealing with schoolyard bullies, and teens today may find that mean comments, images, or threats from total strangers are wearing down their self-esteem. Extracurriculars can help teens build good self-esteem Balancing online and offline time is of course important, but what your teen does in that time can make a big difference. Extracurriculars are a great way for teens to explore more of their interests and take healthy risks like trying a new sport or auditioning for the school play. Whether your teen enjoys football, music, painting, or something else, offline clubs support their identity exploration and give them a chance to develop new skills. Extracurriculars don’t need to mean joining a team or club, or spending lots of money. Your teen can even merge offline extracurriculars and hobbies with online life, too—like attending a video game meetup at the local library or exploring forms of digital art through YouTube tutorials. Other ways parents can support teens’ self-esteem As always, communication is key. This includes both letting your teen know you’re here for them if they’re feeling low and having open dialogue about internet and device use boundaries. Teens are collaborative and creative on the boundary topic if you ask them during calm moments. By agreeing on these guidelines together (including when they’ll get more, or less, access) you can help to protect your kids online and reduce arguments down the line. You can also: Keep social networks small and private. Limiting your teens’ online circles to real world friends and family won’t stop all bullying, but it can reduce it. Explore ways to learn and be creative with technology. From online classes to “painting” with digital apps like Procreate, there are many ways to turn screen time into an engaging experience. Make sure your teen knows how to find reliable mental health resources. These could range from online forums to apps that connect you with licensed therapists. Social media is a common spot to find mental health resources now, but it’s important to learn how to evaluate if the source is reliable. Discuss digital literacy and how to identify misinformation. Common Sense Media’s guide on teaching kids about misinformation is a helpful place to start—they even link to games that you can play with kids to help them learn. Create time for online activities together. You’ll have to follow your teen’s lead on this one, as not all teenagers want to bring their parents into their online worlds. That’s okay, as long as you’re confident they’re staying safe online. But if they’re open to your involvement, you could explore new games, videos, and communities together. Finally, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs of worsening self-esteem. If you notice your teen is more distressed after using their device, eating habits change or you see an increase in negative self-talk, talk with them to learn about what’s going on and consider seeking help from a therapist. To learn more about tech addiction—and its impact on developing minds—visit our resource center or Ask an Expert here on DigitalParenthood.com.37Views0likes0CommentsMental Health Day Report: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) here on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly here to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.88Views2likes0CommentsWhat’s Keeping Me Up: Schools and Screens
The Scoop: In just over a year, more than a dozen states—including Louisiana, Indiana, and Florida—have implemented rules to limit student cell phone use during school hours. Now, California has joined the ranks. Schools in the state have two years to start banning or restricting phone use during the day, all in response to growing concerns about social media’s impact on kids’ mental health. And it’s not just happening in the U.S. Parents around the world are grappling with the same question: “How do we raise the connection generation?” The Big Picture: While some parents and lawmakers view this as a significant win, others argue that in an age of school shootings and emergencies, it’s essential for kids to have their phones on hand. That’s understandable. Some educators also believe that smartphones can play a key role in learning. My Advice: Think of it like hygiene—screen hygiene. Just as teens develop habits or routines for homework and showering through a process of discovery, they need a balance of autonomy and boundaries to learn responsible tech use. Studies show that excessive screen time, especially on social media, can increase anxiety and depression in kids. Research also indicates that completely eliminating screens can lead to feelings of isolation and hinder social development. That’s why it’s crucial to avoid extremes. What works will vary for each child—my own son, for instance, thrives with good old pencil and paper in the classroom. Implementing phone-free zones in schools will absolutely help kids focus on learning and real-life connections. However, it’s imperative that we also allow them to learn when it’s appropriate to use screens. Life’s challenges extend beyond the classroom, and so does technology.22Views0likes0CommentsRaising digital natives: Strategies for healthy tech use in youth
Our kids have never known a world without the internet and smartphones. To them, devices are a normal part of nearly all activities—and an important part of figuring out who they are through socialization. That said, research shows that too much screen time is potentially detrimental to developing minds and bodies. As parents, it's our job to help our kids strike the right balance between life online and offline. But without being digital natives ourselves, this can be a tricky process to navigate. Like many parts of parenting, it requires two things: a well of patience and good communication. Start the screen time conversation early It's never too early to start talking about (and demonstrating) healthy screen use, even if your kids aren't using devices of their own just yet. You can start by talking about how you use your devices, setting your own screen time limits, and initiating screen-free time with your kids. It can be hard at first, but I think you'll find that you feel better in the long run, too. I know I did. When our family implemented a screen-free zone during dinner time (including meal prep and clean up), the urge to check my phone was strong, even if I meant to have screen-free time with my family. There always seemed to be a good excuse to check some fact about something we were discussing, look at the schedule for the next day, etc. And these small diversions inevitably led to an “oh, I will just check email or Slack real quick,” which defeated the purpose. Ultimately we decided that putting devices in another room was the best way to keep us all honest, screen-free, and fully focused on family time. Consider different devices When it's time for your kids to get their own devices, remember: it's not all or nothing. Try easing them into the responsibility of having and using a device by starting with a "dumb" phone (also called a feature phone) or a smartwatch that's connected to your cell phone plan. This lets them contact you in an emergency without the draw of social media and games—or the possible risks associated with unmonitored internet access. Agree on rules (and consequences) right away It's been said that clarity is kindness, and in this case, clarity is household harmony as well. When you give your kids a new device, talk about, and agree on, how they'll use it and what the consequences will be if they break rules around screen time or app usage. Having this conversation when they first get a new device makes actually implementing consequences easier and more effective. If you wait until you're in the heat of the moment—when you're mad your kids won't get off their phones and they're mad you're asking—you may promise a punishment that's hard to follow through on. "No computer for a week" sounds okay in that second, but what about when it's time for schoolwork, or to video call Grandma? Clinically speaking, consequences delivered in a moment of friction can throw kids off-balance, too. And when kids don't know what to expect, they may become even more upset and exacerbate the situation further. By agreeing upon rules and potential consequences up front, you're giving your kids the stability and expectations that they need. You're also diffusing the battle for control and showing them that you're sticking to a mutual agreement. For some families, clarity of rules and expectations can be emphasized by writing them down and keeping this written record handy to review. Encourage balanced use of screens Smartphones and computers aren't just a way to do schoolwork or connect with friends. They can also be outlets for creativity and portals for independent learning or exploration. If you're having a hard time getting your kids to put down the screens, look for device-based activities that are stimulating to the mind. For instance, if your daughter likes playing video games, you could help her explore what goes into drawing and rendering the animations. She could try her own hand at creating game-like scenes—or even coding her own game—using low-cost apps and resources available for iPads and computers. Who knows, it could turn out that you have the next Michelangelo or Disney on your hands … just one whose tools of trade involve pixels, not paintbrushes. Your guide to raising a healthy digital native Ultimately, you'll want to remember these three key things: Start the conversation early. When you discuss healthy device use early on, it's easier to guide your kids toward making smart choices (and enforce necessary boundaries) as their screen time increases. Establish consequences now. Consequences created on the fly tend to be more extreme than those agreed upon calmly beforehand. If you automatically jump to the strictest punishment you can think of, you might accidentally lose your chance to escalate consequences in the future if needed. Model what you want to see. By putting my phone down when I say I will, I'm showing my children that I control my devices; they don't control me. Showing your kids what healthy device use looks like can say just as much as, or more than, a verbal conversation does. And remember, nobody's perfect. There will be times that you realize you aren't modeling the right behavior or moments when you jump to an unplanned consequence. Keep communicating with your kids, though—together, your family can find the right balance.38Views0likes0CommentsBack to school, back to screens
School’s back in session, and with that comes extra screen time for our kids. Chromebooks and iPads are a ubiquitous part of school for many children right now. They use these devices for everything from learning code to emailing classmates about projects. When you couple this schoolwork with kids' personal device use, it adds up to a lot of screen time. A lot of parents I've talked to want to get their kids off of screens as soon as school work is done, but they find it causes friction at home. This is because personal screen time is important to most kids today. As humans, we've always moved through different stages of growth–including wanting to spend more time socializing and exploring with our friends in our adolescent years. But while you and I may have done that socializing outside, at a friend's house, or at the mall, kids are now doing more of that important exploration online. My clinical practice work has shown me that the best solutions for every family will be different—but these steps are a great place for everyone to start. Set up screen-free zones or times A screen-free zone can be a physical place or a time of day when your kids, and ideally the whole family, take a break from their devices. Research shows that when we set routines around our screen time, we can have better relationships with our devices. Make time for guilt-free fun Setting screen time routines isn’t just about limiting when your kids can’t use their devices. When they know there’s a designated time to chat on social media or invite friends to play Fortnite, it helps reduce the stress and frustration around logging off for things like dinner. Plan out screen time schedules It’s also important to build in guilt-free screen time. Abruptly switching from something enjoyable, like gaming with friends, to a tough homework assignment can cause conflict. A planned schedule helps smooth these transitions. Use parental controls Sometimes kids need some digital guardrails in place to help them balance their screen time. Your kids’ personal devices may already have screen time (sometimes called “focus time”) controls built-in, and you can also restrict screen time using apps like Aura. Using these controls could look like: Fully blocking social media sites and games when it’s time for homework Allowing kids to access social media apps throughout the day, but turning off access once they’ve spent a certain cumulative amount of time on the app Only un-blocking certain apps during scheduled guilt-free screen time Scheduling internet black-out periods when it’s time for bed Model good screen time habits All of the screen time schedules and parental controls in the world can only go so far. Showing your kids what healthy versus problematic tech use looks like through your own actions can be the most effective teaching tool you have at your disposal. This isn’t to say that you can’t use your devices. It’s just a matter of being mindful about it! Creating better screen time habits in six steps To recap, navigating social and school life online is tricky for everyone. It's okay if it takes a few tries to find just the right approach for your family—just remember these six things: Strike a balance between school and fun screen time. Taking away all non-school screen time could stifle kids' chances to explore and interact with peers in casual settings. Eliminate screens from bedrooms. A good starting point for creating screen-free zones is to eliminate screens from bedrooms for sleep—and turning off screens one hour before bed is even better. Stack similar on and offline activities. Some families I work with have managed device transitions successfully by pairing similar screened and screen-free activities together, like playing online for 30 minutes and then going outside for the same length of time. Set up parental controls. Whether you use on-device controls or an app like Aura, these tools can give you better insights into how and when your kids are using their screen time. Resist the urge to scroll. If you're asking your kids to stop scrolling online during family time, try doing the same! This sets a great example—and can help your own mental well-being and sleep, too. Talk it out. Making your children active partners in deciding how and when they'll allocate their screen time—and talking about why limits are important—helps to keep everyone invested in their digital health. We'll be publishing additional resources to help you balance screen time during the school year, too—keep exploring the community for more!40Views0likes0Comments