New Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guideđź“š
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
Understanding the Impact of Influencers on Young Mindsđź’ˇ
Social media has drastically transformed the way many of us communicate, express ourselves, and receive information. A majority of today’s teens take in content daily from popular platforms like TikTok, YouTube, SnapChat, and Instagram, so it’s important to get a better understanding of how they are being impacted by digital influencers. Influencers are people who have a large following on social media platforms and are effectively influencing, for better or worse, the opinions and behaviors of their followers. They can be seen as trendsetters with aspirational lifestyles who have an effect on everything from what a young person buys to the way they talk. As you’re probably aware, influencers often present a perfectly curated version of their lives, which can lead to unhealthy comparisons for young people. And while influencers can have a positive impact on their followers, promoting messages like mental health support or body positivity, it can be helpful to take a look at the power they hold in the eyes of our kids and teens. Talking to your teen about influencers... By opening up the conversation surrounding social media influencers and their content with your child or teen, you’ll be helping them to absorb information more critically so that they’re better equipped to notice how it may be impacting their emotions and actions. Here are some tips to help you get started: Initiate the conversation. Check in with your child or teen about their relationship with social media. Ask how it makes them feel, what they enjoy most about it, and what they are finding challenging. Put away distractions so that you’re fully present for the conversation and help them to feel heard by repeating back what they’ve said. Take their experience seriously and try to understand what is going on from their perspective without attempting to jump right in and fix it. Navigating social media can be difficult for all of us, so let them know that they’re not alone in any struggles they’re experiencing and that they can always come and talk to you about their digital life. Discuss real life versus social media content. Take time to talk to your child about how influencers often present an altered version of reality online that does not include the real, messy aspects of life. They are also often paid to promote products, so their content may be influenced by sponsors. Influencers can also encourage unrealistic beauty standards thanks to filters, as well as materialism by urging followers to buy products that they endorse. Take time to scroll through social media with your child and point out what aspects do and do not reflect reality so that they can begin to do the same. Discuss unhelpful thoughts. Encourage your teen to begin to notice their thoughts as they scroll social media. Ask them if that voice inside of their head sometimes says critical things like, “I wish I looked like that” or “I’ll never be able to afford clothes as nice as theirs.” It’s completely normal to compare ourselves to others, especially when their lives look perfect online, but these thoughts can be painful to experience. Once they’re able to notice these unhelpful thoughts, teach your teen to try flipping them into more helpful thoughts like, “I love the way I dress” or “I know that this stuff isn’t real, and I like the way that I look.” It may feel forced at first, but simply noticing and negating unhelpful self-talk is a powerful way to help them feel their best. Clean up the feed together. Encourage your child to clean out the clutter from their social media feeds, just like they’d clean out their closet. Take notice of what accounts and content are bringing them joy or inspiring them, and which ones are causing them to feel like they’re not measuring up. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art or nature? You can sit with them while they unfollow, block, or mute any content that is no longer making them feel their best. And you can even spring clean your feed right along with them to set a positive example and bring more mindfulness into your own digital world. Take tech breaks. Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling so it’s easy for young people to spend hours online each day. Create limits surrounding devices and set screen-free times and zones both inside and outside of your home. Encourage your child to prioritize real-life activities and connections with others. You can even come up with a list of tech-free activities that the entire family can turn to. Social media can be an excellent way for young people to connect with others, but it can also have a negative impact on the way that they feel. Be sure to check-in regularly with your child about their digital experiences and continue to open up conversations surrounding influencers, unhelpful thinking, and how they can access support. If you could use some help in navigating tech as a family, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.Partner Event: Building Healthy Tech Habits (with Bend Health)
Hear from our very own Dr. Jessica Flannery as she speaks on a panel with partner Bend Health on building healthy tech habits. From setting toddler screen-time boundaries to protecting social media-scrolling teens, parenting in the always-on digital world isn’t easy! Technology connects us and can educate and entertain the entire family, but it can also start to interfere with school, work, relationships, and our mental health. That’s why the mental health experts at Bend are here to help your family find creative solutions and set realistic boundaries so that everyone in your household can learn to stay safe online, connect with one another offline, and feel your best. In this partner-hosted webinar, parents and caregivers will learn to: Create a personalized digital plan that everyone in the family can agree on. Better understand and set healthy screen limits. Talk to your child about online safety and cyberbullying. Use a digital detox to foster screen-free connection as a family. Register Here!8 Ways To Model Healthy Tech Usage As A WFH Parent💼
We’re here to help you build clear, consistent tech boundaries and open up conversations at home surrounding screens so that you can show up in both your professional and personal life with greater intentionality and focus. And remember that juggling work and parenting is never easy, so be sure to cut yourself some slack as we discuss realistic solutions for modeling healthier tech use at home. How to model health tech habits for your child While working from home, you likely rely on technology to complete tasks and correspond with colleagues, so it can be tough to put your phone down or close your laptop in order to better connect with those around you. Instead of trying to find the perfect balance, let’s look at a few small changes you can make at home so that you and your family members can feel your best. Mindfully define your relationship with tech. It’s important to first take a step back and ask yourself what role you want technology to play in your life. What does a healthy relationship look like to you? Are there times when you want to be able to focus more fully on work? Are there times when you want to put your devices aside and be more present for what is happening at home? It can be helpful to take some time to journal about your experience in order to gain clarity and insights into any changes you’re hoping to make. Set limits for yourself. It’s easy to get stuck in a never-ending scroll session or to let incoming emails completely overwhelm you. It can be helpful to set app limits or set parameters around when and where you will use your devices. Maybe you want to put your phone away after 6 pm to focus on family time? Or do you want to avoid looking at your email inbox until the kids are off to school? Perhaps you could consider deleting a social media app off of your phone to free up some of your time? Take some time to establish realistic, achievable boundaries that feel right for your day-to-day life. Avoid multitasking, when possible. Whether it’s scrolling on our phones while watching TV or answering emails while eating lunch, we’ve all gotten pretty used to using tech to do many things at once. To support your ability to focus, try setting down your devices when doing things like eating meals or talking to the people around you. Model mindfulness. Children are intuitive and can pick up on our habits. Try to incorporate mindfulness into your own life, whether it's through meditation, deep breathing, or simply being present during daily tasks like washing the dishes or preparing a meal. The more they see you simply being aware of your surroundings, the more they will follow your lead and do the same. Create screen-free zones. Designate certain spaces in your home, like the kitchen table or bedrooms, as tech-free areas. Let your child know that you won’t be using phones, TVs, or tablets in these zones and instead want to prioritize the things that are most important to you as a family, like spending time together or getting a good night’s rest. Make time for yourself. Are there tech-free hobbies or activities that you enjoy, like taking an art class, cooking, or going for a nature walk? You deserve to take time to recharge and reconnect with yourself. Prioritize moments of connection. Try to check your devices at the door during the times that your child is talking to you or when you’re spending focused time together. Are they most talkative on walks or during bathtime? Do your best to put away your phone so that they have your undivided attention when it matters the most. Talk honestly about tech. It’s okay to let your child know that sometimes you struggle to juggle it all and that you’re working on creating healthier habits. These types of transparent conversations can bring you closer and encourage them to be more curious about their own relationship to technology.Hear From Kids: The #1 Safety Issue Overlooked By Parents🎥
We assembled a group of teen and young adult experts to dive deeper into the topics that they feel parents need to prioritize discussing with their kids, because who better to hear it from, than kids themselves? Here are 5 key topics that young adults feel that parents often forget to prepare their kids for: You will stumble upon bad, or even untrue news There are a breadth of news platforms on social media, often with conflicting information. Spend time discussing which ones should your children pay attention to, and which ones they should disregard. There’s going to be an negative information According to this video by the AAP, “Social media can expose you to content that is violent, dangerous, or inaccurate.” Navigate how your child should be using social media, what types of content are appropriate, and remember that not all new information will have a negative impact on them. They may receive unwanted direct messages from strangers Make sure your child is aware of online predators and scammers so that they can identify and block strangers who message them. Social media can encourage a negative self image According to this video by the AAP, “As humans, it’s normal that we compare ourselves to others, but in this online environment, there’s so many more opportunities to do that.” Children and teens who are just coming into their self-esteem may be more vulnerable and prolonged exposure to unattainable body standards can manifest into poor eating habits. No matter how many restrictions you set, your child could still come across dangerous content online Maintain open conversations about online safety with your child so that they are comfortable coming to you and asking questions. Exploring the internet with your child will help you navigate what information they’re ready to learn and what information you’re ready to teach.
Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.Your guide to connecting during screen-free family dinner time
That’s why transforming your meals from a rushed necessity to a cherished ritual can make a big difference in helping everyone in your household feel grounded and connected. Rest assured that you don’t need to have special placemats or elaborate recipes to foster a sense of deeper connection during family meals. By simply sitting down together to share food and conversation, while setting aside distractions, you’re letting everyone around you know that this time together matters. Tips for having your best screen-free family meals Make it device-free. Using technology for connection, entertainment, and education is a wonderful thing! But having phones or other devices at the table can create big distractions, making it difficult to be in the present moment with those around you. Model healthy tech boundaries by putting away your devices and asking that everyone in your family do the same during mealtimes. Be consistent. Take steps towards making family meals a priority around three to five each week. This doesn’t mean every meal must be a grand affair but strive to have at least one meal, perhaps dinner or breakfast, where the family gathers without fail. Even if it's just 15 minutes on hectic days, ensure you sit down together. Over time, these small moments culminate into lasting memories. Things come up, but making an effort to protect this time and space will let others in your family know that it is important for your household. Prepare meals together. Try involving everyone, no matter their age, in the meal preparation process when possible. Assign age-appropriate tasks and use the prep time as a chance to chat, teach, and learn from one another. You can even ask your child to pick out a recipe so that they feel like their opinion matters when it comes to mealtime. Start with a special tradition. Creating a small ritual can set a positive, collective tone for the meal and help you to feel bonded as a family. You could try a gratitude circle, where everyone shares something they're thankful for. Or maybe it's a moment of silence or a family prayer. What about having a Taco Tuesday or doing breakfast for dinner one night of the week? Get creative and ask your kids for ideas too! Foster open communication. Encourage everyone to share highlights from their day. Celebrate successes and offer support and understanding for any challenges faced. Make it a point to ensure everyone has a chance to speak and actively listen. This means giving your full attention, nodding, using verbal affirmations, and avoiding interruptions or offering immediate solutions. Address conflicts constructively. If disagreements arise during mealtime, address them calmly and constructively. Avoid shouting matches or storming off; instead, use it as an opportunity to teach conflict resolution and understanding. Play games that connect you. Initiate games that spark curiosity and discussion, like "Two Truths and a Lie", "Would You Rather?", or “I Spy.” This can particularly help if there are reticent teens at the table or to break the monotony of daily updates. Host themed dinners. Get creative and introduce a fun, family-themed dinner! This could be based on cuisines, historical periods, or even favorite movies. It brings levity, can be educational, and provides a fresh topic of conversation. It’s easy to be distracted and pulled in different directions, so establishing the simple tradition of sharing a meal can go a long way in bringing everyone together. Remember that it will often look imperfect, but know that you are setting the table for connection and healthy communication. If you could use support in finding ways to connect as a family, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support.
