The Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.) There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️Ask Me Anything: TECHWISE with Dr. Scott Kollins
We’ve all heard the buzz about device use and social media impacting our kids' wellness and mental health. Despite the research and news reports, experts are still working to determine whether this digital world is helpful, harmful, or both. That’s why we’re launching a study to explore how kids' digital habits, including social media and online games, connect to their mental wellness, physical activity, and sleep. Hear more about this important research and how you can get involved by joining our event! To join the study, visit aura.com/techwise When: January 30, 2024, 1pm-2pm EST Where: RSVP to the remote live event here!
Mental Health Day Report: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) here on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly here to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.New Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guide📚
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
Understanding the Impact of Influencers on Young Minds💡
Social media has drastically transformed the way many of us communicate, express ourselves, and receive information. A majority of today’s teens take in content daily from popular platforms like TikTok, YouTube, SnapChat, and Instagram, so it’s important to get a better understanding of how they are being impacted by digital influencers. Influencers are people who have a large following on social media platforms and are effectively influencing, for better or worse, the opinions and behaviors of their followers. They can be seen as trendsetters with aspirational lifestyles who have an effect on everything from what a young person buys to the way they talk. As you’re probably aware, influencers often present a perfectly curated version of their lives, which can lead to unhealthy comparisons for young people. And while influencers can have a positive impact on their followers, promoting messages like mental health support or body positivity, it can be helpful to take a look at the power they hold in the eyes of our kids and teens. Talking to your teen about influencers... By opening up the conversation surrounding social media influencers and their content with your child or teen, you’ll be helping them to absorb information more critically so that they’re better equipped to notice how it may be impacting their emotions and actions. Here are some tips to help you get started: Initiate the conversation. Check in with your child or teen about their relationship with social media. Ask how it makes them feel, what they enjoy most about it, and what they are finding challenging. Put away distractions so that you’re fully present for the conversation and help them to feel heard by repeating back what they’ve said. Take their experience seriously and try to understand what is going on from their perspective without attempting to jump right in and fix it. Navigating social media can be difficult for all of us, so let them know that they’re not alone in any struggles they’re experiencing and that they can always come and talk to you about their digital life. Discuss real life versus social media content. Take time to talk to your child about how influencers often present an altered version of reality online that does not include the real, messy aspects of life. They are also often paid to promote products, so their content may be influenced by sponsors. Influencers can also encourage unrealistic beauty standards thanks to filters, as well as materialism by urging followers to buy products that they endorse. Take time to scroll through social media with your child and point out what aspects do and do not reflect reality so that they can begin to do the same. Discuss unhelpful thoughts. Encourage your teen to begin to notice their thoughts as they scroll social media. Ask them if that voice inside of their head sometimes says critical things like, “I wish I looked like that” or “I’ll never be able to afford clothes as nice as theirs.” It’s completely normal to compare ourselves to others, especially when their lives look perfect online, but these thoughts can be painful to experience. Once they’re able to notice these unhelpful thoughts, teach your teen to try flipping them into more helpful thoughts like, “I love the way I dress” or “I know that this stuff isn’t real, and I like the way that I look.” It may feel forced at first, but simply noticing and negating unhelpful self-talk is a powerful way to help them feel their best. Clean up the feed together. Encourage your child to clean out the clutter from their social media feeds, just like they’d clean out their closet. Take notice of what accounts and content are bringing them joy or inspiring them, and which ones are causing them to feel like they’re not measuring up. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art or nature? You can sit with them while they unfollow, block, or mute any content that is no longer making them feel their best. And you can even spring clean your feed right along with them to set a positive example and bring more mindfulness into your own digital world. Take tech breaks. Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling so it’s easy for young people to spend hours online each day. Create limits surrounding devices and set screen-free times and zones both inside and outside of your home. Encourage your child to prioritize real-life activities and connections with others. You can even come up with a list of tech-free activities that the entire family can turn to. Social media can be an excellent way for young people to connect with others, but it can also have a negative impact on the way that they feel. Be sure to check-in regularly with your child about their digital experiences and continue to open up conversations surrounding influencers, unhelpful thinking, and how they can access support. If you could use some help in navigating tech as a family, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.
