The Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.)There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season.Help uncover how technology impacts youth well-being
As a child psychologist, I’ve spent decades working with families to address the challenges kids face today—especially when it comes to focus, emotional well-being, and healthy screen time habits. These issues have only intensified in our fast-paced, technology-driven world. That’s why I’m excited to invite you to join a groundbreaking study that explores how kids' digital habits are related to their mental health and well-being. This research, sponsored by Aura, will help us get answers to hard questions about how tech use is impacting kids' development and ultimately help us improve the tools we have to help kids and their parents navigate in the digital world. Participants in the study will be asked to use the Aura app and complete questionnaires and surveys. Use of the Aura app as part of the study is free and kids and their parents will be compensated for completing study measures. Take a look at the video below for more information. You can also get info about the study atget.aura.com/techwise By joining the study, you’ll not only contribute to advancing science but also receive practical strategies to help your child thrive emotionally and academically. Together, we can make a difference for families everywhere. Interested? Visit Aura’s website to learn more and sign up. Let’s shape a brighter, healthier future for our children—one step at a time.
Navigating technology to promote resilience and self-esteem
A teenager’s online world can be a safe space to explore who they are, connect with likeminded people, and even find valuable resources for mental well-being. But teens can also encounter online bullies, negative comments, heavily filtered images, and other tricky-to-navigate situations that have a resounding offline impact…including lowering self-esteem. How does technology affect self-esteem? The biggest impacts often come from online conversations and comments, as well as the content your teen consumes. On the one hand, a lot of a teen’s online interactions can be really positive. Chatting on Discord while gaming, sharing style tips on Instagram, and Snapchatting with friends all allow your teen to explore who they are. This plays a part in the development of their self-image—and a healthy self-image developed online can improve offline confidence. Teens may even turn to their online communities for invaluable support. TikTok has its own mental well-being guide, and there are countless mental health resources shared by other users on the platform, too. On the other hand, the internet is a vast place, and it isn’t all positive. Your teen could encounter misinformation (which they are more likely to believe than adults) or heavily filtered, edited images that contribute to a warped sense of self or body image. Our comparison group used to be our immediate community and peers. Now, we can compare what we have, what we look like, and our abilities to unmatchable standards and to people with extraordinarily different means. Some studies have shown that exposure to edited images—and easy access to tools that enable physical tweaks on selfies—may lead to teens feeling less satisfied with their appearance. What about cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a genuine concern, too. Think about how overwhelming your own phone can be with pings and dings from your friends, family, and work. Now imagine that you know a portion of those notifications are going to be critiquing you. It’d be hard not to start feeling bad about yourself. Online bullying can occur on a large, even public, scale. It’s a far cry from dealing with schoolyard bullies, and teens today may find that mean comments, images, or threats from total strangers are wearing down their self-esteem. Extracurriculars can help teens build good self-esteem Balancing online and offline time is of course important, but what your teen does in that time can make a big difference. Extracurriculars are a great way for teens to explore more of their interests and take healthy risks like trying a new sport or auditioning for the school play. Whether your teen enjoys football, music, painting, or something else, offline clubs support their identity exploration and give them a chance to develop new skills. Extracurriculars don’t need to mean joining a team or club, or spending lots of money. Your teen can even merge offline extracurriculars and hobbies with online life, too—like attending a video game meetup at the local library or exploring forms of digital art through YouTube tutorials. Other ways parents can support teens’ self-esteem As always, communication is key. This includes both letting your teen know you’re here for them if they’re feeling low and having open dialogue about internet and device use boundaries. Teens are collaborative and creative on the boundary topic if you ask them during calm moments. By agreeing on these guidelines together (including when they’ll get more, or less, access) you can help to protect your kids online and reduce arguments down the line. You can also: Keep social networks small and private. Limiting your teens’ online circles to real world friends and family won’t stop all bullying, but it can reduce it. Explore ways to learn and be creative with technology. From online classes to “painting” with digital apps like Procreate, there are many ways to turn screen time into an engaging experience. Make sure your teen knows how to find reliable mental health resources. These could range from online forums to apps that connect you with licensed therapists. Social media is a common spot to find mental health resources now, but it’s important to learn how to evaluate if the source is reliable. Discuss digital literacy and how to identify misinformation. Common Sense Media’s guide on teaching kids about misinformation is a helpful place to start—they even link to games that you can play with kids to help them learn. Create time for online activities together. You’ll have to follow your teen’s lead on this one, as not all teenagers want to bring their parents into their online worlds. That’s okay, as long as you’re confident they’re staying safe online. But if they’re open to your involvement, you could explore new games, videos, and communities together. Finally, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs of worsening self-esteem. If you notice your teen is more distressed after using their device, eating habits change or you see an increase in negative self-talk, talk with them to learn about what’s going on and consider seeking help from a therapist. To learn more about tech addiction—and its impact on developing minds—visit our resource center or Ask an Expert here on DigitalParenthood.com.Is all risk-taking bad in adolescence?
As a mom, I know how strong the urge to protect our children from risk and harm is. But as a clinical psychologist, I also know that some level of risk-taking behavior is important for young people to grow up into responsible, ready-for-anything young adults. What I’m saying is that risk-taking can actually be really positive. Think about when your child was learning to walk—they explored their boundaries: how far they can go, with what level of support, inevitably stumbling and falling along the way. With your guidance and practice, each time getting a little stronger and more balanced. You knew those small falls were part of the process to help them eventually run. Now imagine if you never let them take that risk to walk alone and maybe miscalculate their ability along the way. The same is true in adolescence—taking some safe risks now builds the decision-making and resilience they'll need to navigate bigger challenges later. Without those early stumbles, they'd struggle to find their footing when it really matters. Because teens' risk-taking is typically fueled by the desire for new experiences, it's part of healthy development. Risk is essential for learning to navigate challenges—and without it, teens miss out. Allowing them to explore through risk, and make mistakes, is key to safe growth. Risk supports the developing prefrontal cortex in teenage brains, and it strengthens new skills along with cognitive control, self-regulation, impulse control and decision-making. Healthy vs. unhealthy teenage risk Let’s talk about what makes a risk “healthy” or not. Healthy risky behavior might result in a feeling of embarrassment or frustration, but the teen stands to gain greater benefit than loss for taking the risk. These risks are considered “adaptive” or socially-acceptable. This is the kind of risk that comes with having new experiences and going outside of one’s comfort zone, like trying out for a new sports team, signing up for a challenging class, or approaching a new social group at school. This can also include the risks associated with defending a peer from a bully. We can even argue that disobeying mom and dad sometimes falls under the umbrella of “healthy risk,” frustrating as it may be. Unhealthy risky behavior for any age group can have serious physical, mental, or real-world legal harm. These risks may include things like substance abuse, unprotected sex, or driving recklessly. It’s still normal for teens to take some unhealthy risks as part of experimentation and peer influence—and to experience the consequences. But if unhealthy risks become habitual and are the norm, then they may suffer long-lasting effects like social isolation, legal trouble, poor grades, or challenges getting into schools or jobs of choice. In other words, trying alcohol is not the same as driving drunk. Pay attention to what it is, how much, the frequency, the setting, and the outcomes. Observing changes in behavior, like increased secrecy, withdrawal from family, or sudden shifts in social circles, can also be warning signs of unhealthy risk-taking. Is risk-taking more dangerous in a digitally connected world? There are certainly positive forms of risk-taking that happen online, including connecting with new social groups and exploring different facets of personal identity. But smartphone data and social media apps can mean there’s a traceable, long-lasting record of teens’ triumphs, mistakes, and risks, far more so than twenty years ago. Teens’ brains are wired to explore their social environment and also weigh risk and rewards differently than adults. That means it’ss up to us as parents to help them develop digital literacy and keep warnings about digital longevity front and center in kids’ minds so they can safely explore online. How to monitor and discuss adolescent risk-taking behavior Regular conversations and keeping an eye out for changes in behavior can go a long way. To recap: Check-in with your kids about how things are going in their world. Talk about how to say no to unhealthy risks, and how to be careful online. Keep an eye out for changes in behavior that can signal an unhealthy risk pattern or other emotional distress. Create a safe environment for your kids to come to you with concerns or fears about risk and consequences. Make your teen an active part of discussions and decision-making around safety. Coming up with age-appropriate boundaries and approaching the process from a place of support, not control is important. The last thing I want to remind you of is to take some time to check in with yourself regularly and assess how you’re feeling. If you find that your own anxiety levels continue to spike as your teens grow and explore the world, there’s help available. Professional therapists and parental support groups can be a lifeline when you're struggling with increasing or overwhelming anxiety. When you’re able to manage your own emotions, you’ll be better prepared to help your teens navigate their changing worlds.
