What’s Keeping Me Up: Sextortion
The Scoop: Sextortion is a disturbing phenomenon that has escalated in the digital age, impacting countless young lives. It involves coercing individuals, often children, into providing explicit images or engaging in other sexual activities online, and then threatening exposure. Predators prey on the vulnerabilities of young people, using their fears and insecurities to manipulate them into compliance. According to the FBI, reports of financially motivated sextortion involving minors increased at least 20% from October 2022 to March 2023. The Big Picture: It’s not always a creepy online stranger upfront—often, these predators pose as friendly peers who just want to chat. As both a clinician and a father, the growing prevalence of this form of exploitation deeply troubles me. The science behind sextortion reveals a complex interplay of psychological manipulation and digital threats. Studies show that victims often experience severe emotional and psychological distress, which can have lasting effects on their mental health. Unfortunately, there are no foolproof ways to completely avoid becoming a target. Even if a teen refuses to send explicit images, predators can steal photos from social media and create fake explicit content with new technologies, like deepfakes, to use as leverage. My Advice: Have open and frequent conversations with your children about online safety from the moment they start using the internet. This should include age-appropriate discussions about sextortion. It's important to approach these talks without shame or judgment, focusing instead on educating your child about the risks of online interactions and image-sharing. ‘The Talk’ once centered around physical health, consent and relationships. Today, it also encompasses issues related to digital interactions, like sexting, online privacy, and the risks of exploitation and manipulation. Don’t wait to have it. If you or someone you know is being sexually exploited online, report it to the CyberTipline operated by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, or contact them directly at contactgethelp@ncmec.org or 1-800-THE-LOST. For international assistance, use the InHope hotline directory to find your local hotline.Mental Health Day Report: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) here on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly here to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.Navigating teenhood: How developmental jobs shape teen identities
The first time your teenager decides they know better or more than you, it can leave you feeling taken aback. It feels like they were a baby the other day—now they’re convinced you’re wrong about everything. As surprising and frustrating as this is, it’s healthy behavior. Pushing back on boundaries, exploring new opinions, weighing friends’ opinions over parents, and even taking risks are part of how teenagers tackle key developmental jobs. What are developmental jobs? When your children are young, it’s clear that they’re not adults—from their physical size to how they talk, it’s easier to see them and not expect them to think the way you do as their parent. The distinction between “child” and “adult” can blur as your kids hit their teenage years. Not only are some teens as tall as (or taller than!) adults, but they may also express that they “aren’t a child” anymore. They’re capable of so much more and at times they may sound like an adult. The thing is, adolescence is its own sensitive period of development that is uniquely different from childhood and adulthood. Their brains are primed to respond and weigh information differently than adults. It’s not that they can’t think about the future, it’s that they are biologically primed to weigh those risks differently than adults. During the teen years, this progress is marked by several “developmental jobs.” Different tasks and challenges shape each job, including: Forming an identity. Who are they separate from their parents (or peers) in the world? This can involve exploring different styles of dress, social groups, ways of speaking, music, to their online identity and more. Developing autonomy. As teens explore unique identities, they develop a better sense of how to make decisions for themselves. This journey is essential for their ability to navigate life independently as adults. Building relationships. Adolescence is also the time of exploring new friendships and even romantic connections. As parents, it’s okay to set some boundaries to keep your kids safe—but know that this type of exploration is an expected part of growing up. Setting goals. By high school, many teens are thinking about what the next few years will look like. They’re also setting goals for both the immediate and distant future. Regulating emotions. As your teen takes on different roles—child, sibling, student, teammate, employee—they’ll begin practicing ways to balance stress, responsibility, and new emotions. This process isn’t always smooth sailing, but it’s an important part of development. How do teens tackle these developmental jobs? In the past—and you can think back to your own teen years here—a lot of this developmental work happened offline. We tested new styles, friend groups, jobs, and attitudes at school or popular gathering places for our peers. Today, a typical teen’s focus is still the same: they’re prioritizing friends, exploring new hobbies, and trying out new strategies for coping with difficult situations. Only now, they’re doing a lot of this exploration online. As a result, your teen might be trying to create curated profiles they present to the world. And you may notice that their interests, or the way they present themselves to others, changes rapidly during the teenage years. Even though teens do create plans and goals for their immediate future, long-term planning looks different for a teen and an adult. And it should. How to support your teen’s healthy development The trick to supporting your teen’s development is to provide guidance for safe exploration to occur, while not stifling the process of exploration. It’s a tricky line to walk, but these tips can help. Understand why they’re prioritizing friends. Remember, adolescence is an important period for social communication and relationship building, which means peers (and their opinions) begin to matter a lot more. This is how teens form an identity that’s separate from their parents and crucial to helping them grow into functioning adults. Become familiar with your teens’ favorite apps. Get familiar with your teen's favorite apps. In today's digital age, socializing happens as much online as in person. Just as parents once knew where their kids were physically—like at the mall or movies—it's now essential to know where they are virtually. You might see your teen scrolling on TikTok in their room, but do you really know where they're hanging out online? Whether you read up on their favorite platform or ask them to show you how to set up a profile, understanding their "hangout spots" can ease concerns about cyberbullying and help you set necessary boundaries. Build healthy social media habits together. While online exploration is a big part of today’s teenhood, it’s still important to know when it’s time to log off. By making healthy social media habits a family project, you can be a good digital role model for your teen. Give advice when your teen requests it. Problem-solving and critical thinking are both skills we want to foster throughout development, but it can be difficult to not provide our opinions too quickly before our kids have a chance to figure it out themselves. In my clinical practice, I recommend that parents approach topics of potential concern with their teen with curiosity first. Try to understand their perspective and when it’s safe, give them room to figure it out themselves. This approach can actually make it more likely that they will come to you with advice sometimes. When they ask, they’re more likely to hear and incorporate your input (as opposed to offering it up when you see them doing or wearing something that you think is a mistake). You’re giving them the space they need to test different techniques and work through emotions. Decide where you can grant them more autonomy. As kids grow, we naturally want them to take on more household chores and responsibilities. While it can be rewarding to hand over these tasks, it's often harder to loosen control in other areas, like school or social life. However, this kind of growth outside the home is just as important. Gradually increasing autonomy helps teens develop into independent adults, so it's essential to evaluate where they can take on more decision-making as they get older. As parents, just when you figure out one stage, a new one begins—especially during adolescence. As your teen discovers who they are, we must continually adapt our support through each phase of their development. But remember, you're not alone. There are resources and discussions to help right here on DigitalParenthood.com, with more to come each week. Take a look around, and remember—healthy development takes time, regardless of age.Family guide: 5 strategies for setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids
These technologies can provide cognitive, social, and emotional benefits, such as expanded learning opportunities, global connections, and outlets for self-expression. Research indicates that screen media that are intentionally designed to support kids’ development can help them do better in school, learn new skills, and become better readers. And it’s not just about learning — playing video games and other online activities can also help kids build friendships and meaningful connections with others. However, potential risks and negative effects, such as social isolation, overuse, and mental health issues must also be considered and addressed. As kids grow up immersed in digital media, parents and other caregivers play a crucial role in guiding their digital media use and creating a supportive environment for meaningful technology interactions. Here are the Digital Wellness Lab’s top five strategies to help parents support their kids’ learning to set healthy boundaries and balance online and offline time. 1. Get involved: co-playing and co-viewing. If parents want a real view of how their kids spend their time online, they need to participate actively in their kids’ digital experiences. By engaging in digital media activities alongside kids, parents can help them make better choices about the content they consume and encourage meaningful discussions about themes, messages, and values. One effective strategy is co-viewing and co-playing with kids, which fosters bonding and shared enjoyment while also providing an opportunity for guidance and supervision. Co-playing can also help identify potential risks, such as inappropriate content or interactions, and allow parents to address them promptly and effectively. By sitting with children and picking up a video game controller or scrolling through online videos together, parents can find shared interests, encourage more open communication, and enable their child to be the expert. 2. Model good digital habits. It’s never too early to model healthy, balanced media and technology habits for children. When adults show kids responsible digital behavior, it sets a strong example for them to follow. Parents can help their kids find balance and purpose in their digital lives by being mindful of their own screen use, focusing on meaningful online activities, and being good digital citizens. Openly discussing their digital habits and the reasons behind them can further emphasize the importance of responsible use, ensuring kids understand the benefits of adopting such practices. Besides being digital role models, parents can highlight the importance of offline activities by participating with their kids. Whether it’s getting active, exploring creative pursuits, or simply enjoying quality time together without screens, these activities will show them the value of a balanced lifestyle that includes both digital and real-world experiences. 3. Use creative apps. Purposeful and meaningful digital media activities can help establish supportive habits and boundaries for kids. Parents can ensure their children’s exposure to digital media enriches their learning experience by encouraging them to explore creative apps and websites. Online creative outlets can inspire and nurture kids’ artistic and imaginative abilities. Platforms that support digital art, music, and writing enable young people to explore various forms of self-expression, cultivate their talents, and share their creations with a broader audience. Encouraging children to engage with these creative tools can foster emotional well-being and personal growth and help them develop essential skills like problem-solving, communication, and collaboration. 4. Create opportunities for more mindful screen engagement. Children develop at different rates, and all families have different values and routines. This can make one-size-fits-all rules about screen time and content difficult to determine. However, families can encourage their children to be mindful of what they are doing online and why. Working together to create a shared Family Media Plan is one way for families to encourage critical thinking about the types of media they want to consume and the devices they want to use. It is an excellent way to ensure that everyone in the household is on the same page regarding digital media use. Families can revise the plan at regular intervals as children become more media literate and families begin to understand more about the positive and negative effects of technology and media for themselves and their children. Once guidelines are agreed upon, it’s important for parents and caregivers to follow them, too. In our recent Pulse Survey, just 37% of adolescents reported their parents followed their own technology rules, which can impact how kids feel about the rules (and whether they choose to follow them). Families can also create screen-free zones and set screen-free times to promote balance. Designate areas like bedrooms and dining rooms as spaces where screens are off-limits and identify times, such as mealtime or homework sessions, when screens are to be turned off. This approach encourages family connection, fosters healthy sleep habits, and makes mealtime an opportunity for meaningful conversation. 5. Make time for breaks and offline fun. Encouraging regular breaks from screens and getting kids involved in offline activities is important for their social, emotional, and cognitive development. These breaks help them enjoy a balanced life with digital and real-world experiences. Encourage offline hobbies like reading, drawing, or playing musical instruments. Get kids moving with sports, dancing, or outdoor play—all great for their physical and mental health. Parents should also give kids plenty of opportunities to socialize face-to-face, building essential social skills and strong friendships. By balancing screen time with offline activities, parents can guide their kids to better digital media habits. Moving forward. As technology becomes more integrated into our daily lives, setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids is critical. As parents and educators, we are responsible for guiding children’s digital media use and creating a supportive environment that balances digital and IRL (“in real life”) experiences. By implementing strategies like these, parents can help kids develop healthy digital media habits and navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly. With intentional and purposeful effort, we can all help children have a well-rounded and enriching experience with digital media. We encourage parents to use these strategies to support their children’s healthy digital media habits. We invite parents and caregivers to explore our Family Digital Wellness Guide for more resources, tools, and support to help them navigate their kids’ digital media use.What's Keeping Me Up: The Roblox Report🎥
Hey all, Dr. Scott here! The media was abuzz this week with the news of a report released by short-selling investigative firm Hindenburg Research. The report claims that Roblox is a "pedophile hellscape for kids." As the father of two gamers, this concerns me, so I sat down with them to get their thoughts. Hear what we have to say at the video below, and sound off in the comments on what you think of the latest report. Will this change any rules you have with your kids as it relates to time spent on Roblox?
How to Keep Your Kids Safe While Online Gaming with Ron Kerbs 🎥
Kids spend more of their time than ever online gaming, but how can parents alleviate the potential dangers that come with it? In this week’s episode of the Digital Parenthood Digest, Kidas CEO and Founder Ron Kerbs tells you how to keep your kids safe while online gaming.
Join Little Otter for an important conversation on suicidality in young children
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among children aged 10-14 years old, and data shows that even children as young as 5 years old can experience suicidal thoughts and behaviors. To address this hidden crisis, Little Otter’s Co-Founder and Chief Medical & Scientific Officer, Dr. Helen Egger, and MCIU Project Aware’s Dr. Pia Houseal will be sharing key insights from their recent report, "The Hidden Crisis: Suicidality in Children as Young as 5."
