Don’t Panic: Responding to Sexual Curiosity in Your Child
Introduction: Take a Deep Breath As a parent, learning that your child is watching or seeking sexually explicit content is enough to send you into a tailspin. If you are reading this, you are likely in shock. You might feel angry, scared, or like you have failed. Please, take a deep breath. You haven't failed. While we try to prevent exposure, the reality of the digital age is that it is almost inevitable. You are now facing a moment thousands of parents face every day. This doesn't have to be a trauma. If handled with care, this can actually strengthen your relationship. Here are five truths to help you navigate the next 24 hours. 1. Stop. Don't Have the "Big Talk" Yet. Your instinct is likely to panic, lecture, or confiscate devices immediately. Don't. Experts agree that a reactive, high-emotion lecture right now causes more damage than good. It drives kids into defensive silence. Instead, wait until you are calm. The goal of the first conversation isn't to fix everything; it is simply to let them know you know, and that you still love them. Try saying this: "I saw something on your device that worried me. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a minute. We’ll talk later when we’re both calm. You aren't in trouble, but we do need to discuss it." 2. They Likely Didn't Seek It Out It is easy to assume your child went looking for trouble, but algorithms are aggressive. Innocent searches often lead to explicit results. Even if they did search for it, remember that their brain is developing. They are likely feeling confused, embarrassed, or disturbed by what they saw. If you approach them as a detective looking for a crime, they will hide. If you approach them as a guide helping them navigate a chaotic internet, they will listen. 3. Your Reaction Sets the Future Tone You may have heard the advice to "create the culture before the crisis." The crisis is here—but you can still build the culture. How you react now determines if your child ever confides in you again. If you scream or ban technology forever, you teach them that honesty equals pain. They won't stop looking; they will just get better at hiding it. Prioritize connection over punishment to ensure you remain their safe harbor. 4. Teach Media Literacy: Fantasy vs. Reality Use this moment to explain the difference between what they saw and real life. Pornography is "performative"—it rarely shows consent, awkwardness, or real emotional connection. Ask them: "Does what you saw look like how people who care about each other treat one another?" This takes the power away from the shocking images and grounds the conversation in your family's values regarding respect and kindness. 5. Validate Curiosity, Reject Shame Curiosity about bodies is developmentally normal for adolescents. However, shame is toxic. If you say, "How could you watch this filth? You should be ashamed!" you fuse their natural development with feelings of guilt. Instead, validate the curiosity while correcting the source. The distinction: "It is normal to be curious about bodies. That is part of growing up. But the internet is a terrible teacher. Those videos are fake, like superhero movies. I want you to learn the truth, not the scripted version." Conclusion: A Door Has Opened This isn't the end of your child’s innocence; it is the beginning of honest communication. You don't need to be perfect today. You just need to be the steady hand they can rely on. One thing you can do right now: Step away from the device. Make a cup of tea or take a walk. Do not start the conversation until your heart rate has returned to normal. You’ve got this. Additional Reading for Parents: Allison, K., & Dawson, R. M. (2025). Parental mediation of smartphone and social media activities to protect early adolescent children from online risks. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 30(1). https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2025.2504530 American Academy of Pediatrics. (2025, October 28). Teens and pornography. https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/center-of-excellence-on-social-media-and-youth-mental-health/qa-portal/qa-portal-library/qa-portal-library-questions/teens-and-pornography/ Stanić, L. (2024). From restrictions to awareness: Examining the varied relationship between mediation strategies and parental awareness of adolescents online sexual experiences across age groups. Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, 18(5), Article 9. https://doi.org/10.5817/CP2024-5-9 Author: Lauren A. Lee, PhDThe New "Birds & Bees": A Parent’s Guide to AI Sexual Roleplay
Artificial intelligence has quickly become a household fixture, helping our kids with everything from tricky math problems to creative writing. However, parents may be surprised to learn that young people are turning to AI for far more than just schoolwork. A national survey by Common Sense Media found that 33% of young people have used AI chatbots for social interactions, including enacting romantic fantasies or sexual roleplay. If you’ve received a risk alert or discovered romantic messages on your child’s device, it’s natural to feel alarmed. But by understanding this digital landscape, you can transform a scary moment into a powerful opportunity for connection and growth. Why Kids Are Turning to Chatbots It’s helpful to remember that the onset of puberty is a hallmark period for curiosity. It is developmentally typical for children to wonder about the "ins and outs" of sex and identity. A Judgment-Free Zone: Talking about sex can feel awkward or embarrassing. Engaging with an AI feels "socially safer" than turning to an adult, as the bot won't get uncomfortable or disappointed. Low-Stakes Practice: Some youth feel immense pressure to have relationships "figured out." AI provides a way to explore these topics without the risk of real-world rejection or social fallout. The Risks Every Parent Should Know While these apps may be marketed as "virtual friends," they lack the emotional depth and the fundamental need for consent found in human relationships. Distorted Reality: AI can trick children into thinking real intimacy is transactional, creating unrealistic expectations for future partners. Safety Gaps: Despite tech companies increasing security, no safeguard is perfect. AI can still describe non-consensual scenarios or provide medically inaccurate information. Data Privacy: Everything shared with an AI is saved by the company by default. Your child’s private thoughts and personal details are being used to train "Big Tech" models without true privacy. Grooming & Exploitation: Some platforms include community features where adults may use AI-generated "deepfakes" to build trust and exploit minors. Your Action Plan: Partnership, Not Punishment If you discover your child is engaging in AI roleplay, your goal is to maintain open communication. Reacting with anger often drives this behavior underground; instead, aim for a "partnership" approach. Check Your Emotional Temperature Before starting the conversation, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that curiosity is a normal part of growing up. If you stay calm, your child is more likely to keep coming to you when things get complicated. Join Their Digital World Don’t just confiscate the phone immediately. Sit down together and use a script like: "I’m not mad at you. We all explore things growing up, but my main job is to keep you safe. Let's look at how this bot works together." This signals that you are on the same team. Foster AI Literacy Help your child develop "metacognition"—thinking about how they think. Spark their curiosity with questions like, "I wonder where this conversation is being stored?" or "Do you think a real person would ever say that?" This helps them build the critical thinking skills they need to navigate the digital world. Create a Family Tech Agreement Co-create a "living" document that outlines rules for AI and social media use. This should be a shared responsibility: if you expect your child to stay off certain apps, model that behavior by putting your own phone away during dinner. Final Thoughts Curiosity about attraction and identity is a beautiful, normal part of adolescence. You want your child to feel comfortable turning to you for the answers, not an algorithm. By staying non-judgmental and maintaining a dialogue about the dangers of AI intimacy, you are empowering your child to develop healthy, real-world relationship skills. Authors: Anne Claire Grammer, PhD & Lauren A. Lee, PhD Resources and Further Reading for Parents: Common Sense Media Report on AI Companions: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/research/talk-trust-and-trade-offs-how-and-why-teens-use-ai-companions American Psychological Association Health Advisory on AI Use: https://www.apa.org/topics/artificial-intelligence-machine-learning/health-advisory-ai-adolescent-well-being Children and Screens: https://www.childrenandscreens.org/learn-explore/research/online-sexual-and-explicit-content-a-guide-for-parents/Navigating AI Companion Apps: A Parent's Guide
Today's AI chatbots have come a long way from simple question-and-answer programs. These advanced systems can now generate conversations that feel remarkably like real relationships. Many are even marketed as "virtual friends" or "AI girlfriends/boyfriends," and they're becoming increasingly popular with young people. As this technology becomes part of our digital landscape, you’ll want to know how to help your children to navigate it safely. What Are AI Companions? Think of them as super-sophisticated chatbots, using text or voice to simulate conversation and foster emotional connection. They are able to mimic human interaction in ways that feel personal and realistic, creating an illusion of friendship or understanding. They can talk about almost any topic, are highly engaging, and unlike generic chatbots they are designed specifically to replicate friendship or intimate relationships. Why Are Young People Drawn to These Apps? There are a number of reasons why AI companions may be popular among young users: Judgment-free: They can ask questions, express thoughts and explore curiosities without fear of being judged, criticized or embarrassed. Escape from social pressure: They may get relief from the social comparison that can characterize their human relationships, especially on social media. For example, trying to maintain a certain image or ‘fit in’. Emotional support on demand: They can get answers to their questions anytime they want as AI companions are available 24/7. This is instant access if they are feeling down, want someone to talk to or are simply curious about something. Customizable experience: Some AI companions can be customized to match their interests and communication style, making them particularly appealing. Creativity and exploration: They may also use them as a space to explore ideas or as a low pressure way to practice conversations to build social confidence without fear of rejection from others. Young people may also be naturally drawn to experimenting with new technology, and AI companions are an easy way to do this. What Should Parents Be Concerned About? Despite the benefits, these apps are controversial with Common Sense Media going as far to say that they should not be used by minors. Many apps claim they are for adults (17+ years) but often lack effective age verification, allowing young people to use them. Here are some of the risks to be aware of: Inappropriate content: Content can be age-inappropriate, and advice may be inaccurate or even harmful. Many AI companions have weak or easily bypassed filters which means users can also access explicit sexual, violent or even illegal content. Emotional dependency: Some people may become reliant on AI validation, potentially withdrawing from real-life friendships which can be more challenging. Conversations are also so life-like that it is easy to forget you are chatting with AI. Unhealthy relationship models: The AI may create unrealistic expectations, by always agreeing with users without setting boundaries. This illusion of a "perfect friend" risks normalizing inappropriate dynamics and undermining the development of healthy, consenting and respectful relationships. Exacerbating mental health issues: When users express negative thoughts or harmful perspectives, the AI companion often validates these views rather than providing constructive challenge or guidance toward healthier alternatives. This can make how someone feels worse. Privacy vulnerabilities: Like other online interactions, personal information and conversations can be stored and used in ways your child may not expect. What Can Parents Do? Talk To Your Kids About AI Companions Start with genuine curiosity, not judgement. If children feel they’re being criticized for their digital relationship they’ll likely become defensive and close down. So try to open up conversations with something curious like “I’m interested in these AI companions, what’s your experience been like?”. You might want to ask them what apps they use, what they like about the interactions, or what interesting conversations they’ve had. Create safety guidelines together. Don’t avoid talking about the risks as it’s important children are made aware of them, but do this in a collaborative way. You could share age-appropriate articles to spark discussion or share your concerns and suggest agreeing on some guardrails together. For example, not sharing identifiable information online, avoiding certain apps, and coming to you with anything confusing or concerning. It could be helpful for you to become familiar with some of the most popular companion apps to better understand their content and any security features. Develop critical thinking. You want to encourage critical thinking so they can also evaluate the safety of the apps they are using themselves. You could review AI responses with your child, asking “why might it say this” or “how might a person respond differently”. Teach them to question what they’re told, for example “how does the AI know this” or “what perspective is it missing?”. Balance Virtual and Real-World Connections Help them understand the limitations of an AI relationship. Talk about the differences between AI and human connection. For example the AI may offer comfort but lacks true understanding or genuine concern. AI is also more likely to agree with you than show you an alternative perspective. Actively strengthen real-world connections. Support your child to maintain and strengthen in-person connections. Encourage social activities with friends, plan regular family time without devices (including your own!) and model healthy relationships you build in your own life. Explore alternative coping strategies. Help your child to understand their own patterns. For example, if they’re using the companion when they’ve had a tough day, are there any other strategies they could use to help them? Keep Communication Open Monitor your reactions. These new technologies may be worrisome, but if your child shares something with you try to avoid immediate negative reactions as this could discourage further openness. Try to create a safe space where they can share concerns and you can work through solutions together. Final Thoughts AI companions require guidance to ensure healthy use. By helping your children understand the reality behind these technologies, you empower them to engage with AI appropriately while maintaining meaningful human relationships. Remember that your real-world connection with your child is the most powerful protective factor. By maintaining open, non-judgmental communication about technology, you help them develop the critical thinking skills they'll need to navigate not just today's AI companions, but whatever new technologies emerge in their future. This article was created in partnership with Kate Daley. Further reading Hollanek, T., & Sobey, A. (2025). AI Companions for Health and Mental Wellbeing: Opportunities, Risks and Policy Implications. Leverhulme Centre for the Future of Intelligence. https://doi.org/10.17863/CAM.115939 Malfacini, K. The impacts of companion AI on human relationships: risks, benefits, and design considerations. AI & Soc (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00146-025-02318-6 Pratt N, Madhavan R, Weleff J. Digital Dialogue—How Youth Are Interacting With Chatbots. JAMA Pediatr. 2024;178(5):429–430. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2024.0084. https://www.mozillafoundation.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/happy-valentines-day-romantic-ai-chatbots-dont-have-your-privacy-at-heart/ https://www.wsj.com/tech/ai/meta-ai-chatbots-sex-a25311bf?st=5Q9cWi&Now What? A Caregiver’s Guide to Navigating Next Steps After a Risk Alert
Receiving a risk alert about your child's risky behaviors can be overwhelming and scary. These initial reactions of fear and confusion are common. It is important to know that you are not alone. Many caregivers feel this way when experiencing uncertainty in these situations, and your concern is a sign of how much you care about your child's wellbeing. How you respond in this moment matters. Your reaction plays an important role in helping your child feel supported and safe. Being prepared ensures that you can get connected with the necessary support for your child’s well-being. The information here should provide you with steps to take if your child is in emotional distress: Understand Your Own Response Before talking to your child, take a moment for yourself. Breathe deeply. Give yourself permission to feel your own emotions without judgment. This is stressful! This isn't to get rid of what you're feeling, but rather to create space to respond with calm and compassion. Being more grounded in the moment, versus reacting from a place of emotion, can help your child feel understood and safe, so that you can help them navigate the issues. Create a Safe Space First, ensure immediate physical safety. If your child is actively exhibiting or threatening harmful behavior and is in immediate danger of harming themselves, stay with them and seek help right away. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also call or text the Suicide Lifeline (call 988) and Crisis Textline (text 741741), which are available 24/7. It’s essential to remove and safely store any dangerous or potentially harmful items in your home if your child is at risk of harming themselves, including firearms, knives, medications, sharp tools, scissors, and flammable devices. After ensuring physical safety, you can talk to your child in a calm and reassuring tone: Example (if they are calm): "I can see that you are in a lot of pain right now, and I am here for you. We will navigate this together, and I know resources we can use to help us." Example (if they are physically in distress– e.g., crying): " I know this is a lot. I can see these emotions are really strong in your body right now. Let's start by taking a few deep breaths together. I am here to support you." If they are not in immediate crisis, choose a quiet place to talk and reassure them that they are not in trouble. They may be more likely to share about challenges if they know you’re not angry with them. Begin the conversation in a quiet space: Ask them some general questions. It can be helpful to frame this as a statement if your child is likely to respond to a question with "yes" or "no". Example: "I noticed some things going on and wanted to check in with you. Even if it's hard to explain, I'm here. Can you tell me what's been happening? How are you feeling?" Example: "I noticed some things and wanted to check in with you. Even if it's hard to explain, I'm here. Tell me more about what's been going on." Asking what they want from you can help encourage more open communication Example: “Do you want me to just listen or help you problem solve?” Listen & Reassure When your child opens up, it is important to listen. Often, we want to jump in and "fix" things. In this moment, validate their feelings and acknowledge that it sounds hard or that you can tell they are in distress. Reassure them that they are not alone and that you appreciate their openness with you. Sometimes, children have a hard time discussing these feelings. It's also okay if your child only shares a word or two. Reinforce and praise that. You can then use the 24/7 hotline above to help facilitate or navigate the situation if they are not telling you additional information. Other ways to provide support and empathy: Example: " I know this can be hard to talk about. I appreciate you sharing this with me, even though it may be stressful. I want to be there for you." Example: "This can be hard to talk about. I can just sit with you right now, and let me know whenever you are ready to talk. I am here to listen." Additional Steps to Support and Help At Home Continue to foster open communication by building trust, so your child feels safe sharing their emotions. Create a safety plan: collaborate to recognize warning signs and outline steps for managing a crisis. You can use this 988 template (https://988lifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Brown_StanleySafetyPlanTemplate1.pdf). Build a support network: help your child identify people whom they trust and feel ok reaching out to during difficult times. Seeking Professional Help If you are concerned for your child’s immediate safety, contact emergency services: Call the Suicide Lifeline at 988 Text the Crisis Textline at 741741 Call 911 Bring your child to the nearest emergency room If your child is not in immediate danger Contacting a mental health professional or a community mental health center can help get your child connected with key services. Contact your child’s pediatrician for additional guidance and well-being advice. This article was developed in partnership with Zachary Bricken, Aura's medical operations intern. Additional Resources More Information from Other Organizations about Steps, Resources, and Information Suicide Lifeline https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/ Crisis Textline: Help for Self-Harm https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/ SAMHSA: Suicide Prevention https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/suicidal-behavior/prevention American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Suicide Resource Center Child Mind Institute https://childmind.org/topics/suicide-self-harm/How safe is Roblox for kids? – An update to keep you in the know
TL;DR A majority of kids and teens today are using Roblox – an online gaming platform where users can play games, build games, and interact with other users Roblox doesn’t collect identifying information because it was created for kids, but predators can use this anonymity to their advantage The Roblox universe runs on Robux – a currency that can be purchased by adults to entice or bribe kids on the platform Roblox comes with risks, but there are updated safety features you can use, such as restricting direct chat with other users or setting Robux spending limits Read our previous blog about Roblox here What Is Roblox Anyway? Roblox has over 77 million daily active users, 32 million of whom are under age 13 (Bloomberg, 2024). The platform was initially created as a place for kids to be creative and learn how to build their own games online, and now there are millions of games in the universe. Because it was originally made for kids, Roblox collects very little information from users. Many older teens and adults use Roblox now too. Unfortunately, some users leverage anonymity to their advantage posing risks for kids on Roblox. The sheer size of Roblox, number of users, and potential risks may feel overwhelming for parents to navigate, which is why we’re here to help! The good news is, you don't need to be a tech wizard to make Roblox a safer space for your kid or teen. You already have the most important tools – your engagement and curiosity as a parent. This isn't about banning fun or hovering constantly; it's about understanding the environment and using the available tools (both on and off the platform) to guide your child confidently. Think of it as teaching them playground rules, but for the digital age. Decoding Robux: It's Not Monopoly Money If you’re a parent of a kid as young as age 6 and even into their later teen years, chances are you know what Robux are. Many kids and teens ask their parents for Robux for their allowance or as a reward for good behavior. If you’re not familiar, Robux are the virtual currency of the Roblox gaming world. Kids are excited by Robux, or rather what Robux can be used for– Robux can be used to customize avatars by buying clothes and accessories, for in-game experiences like skipping levels or access to VIP games, or even shopping at virtual stores like Walmart and Starbucks. But, Robux isn’t simply “fake money” because it can be purchased and exchanged for real-world money. Free Robux? A Red Flag! Like any other currency, Robux can be stolen or used to gamble and bribe other users. Bloomberg media put out an investigative piece on Roblox where they shared several examples of adults taking advantage of kids on Roblox. Robux were used to entice underage gamers as a grooming tactic in exchange for sexual acts in games, child porn, or inappropriate interactions in real life. Similarly, a report from More Perfect Union interviewing kids who engage in game development on Roblox, revealed instances of financial and child labor exploitation. Curious to know more? You can explore the Bloomberg documentary and the companion article. Updated Roblox Safety Features New Safety Features on Roblox and How You Can Make the Best Use of Them You can now take steps to deploy new safety features. In November 2024, Roblox introduced some new safeguards. Overall, age limits have been put into place for specific content. You, as a parent, can create a Roblox account linked to your child’s, employ monthly spending limits, and use additional safety features to help guide which experiences you are comfortable with your child accessing. How to make the most use of Roblox’s new safety tools Kids are going to use Roblox. Rather than placing harsh limits or banning Roblox altogether, we want to help you keep your child safe, healthy, and happy as they engage online. Here is a quick summary of the new Roblox safety features and how to access them. Limit Chat using Communication Controls: Chats increase the likelihood of your child interacting with strangers or more mature users. Limiting chat features can reduce the chance of risky interactions. You can: Disable experience chat: Select "No one" to set who your child can message with inside experiences. Restrict experience direct chat: Select “No one” to limit who your child can message 1:1 in experiences. Platform Chat, where users can chat with other users outside of experiences, is an exception and cannot be restricted for users over 13 More information on limiting chat features on Roblox can be found here under Communication Controls Keep Robux in check with Spending Controls: You can place monthly spending limits on your child’s account for Robux and other Roblox subscriptions. How to Set Spending Limits - from Roblox Create your own Roblox account and link it to your child’s: Creating your own account allows you to manage your child’s account without needing to login to their account. Linking instructions from Roblox Limits under age 13: Users under 13 now have some limits on Roblox Children under 13 years old can no longer directly message (“Platform Chat”) other users on Roblox outside of games or experiences. This change mitigates some risk of those under 13 interacting with strangers, older teens, or adults who may share inappropriate content on the Roblox platform. Those under age 13 also can’t send direct messages to other users within games, but can send “public broadcasts” within the game. Some experiences are age-gated based on content maturity. Content Maturity Labels: These can help guide your understanding of what content your child may encounter in experiences and games. You can also set maturity controls for your child. Kids under age 9 can only access “Minimal” or “Mild” forms of content Check out the descriptions from Roblox below (https://en.help.roblox.com/hc/en-us/articles/8862768451604-Content-Maturity-Labels) How to set maturity controls - from Roblox Content Maturity Label Description Minimal May contain occasional mild violence, light unrealistic blood, and/or occasional mild fear. Mild May contain repeated mild violence, heavy unrealistic blood, mild crude humor, and/or repeated mild fear. Moderate May contain moderate violence, light realistic blood, moderate crude humor, unplayable gambling content, and/or moderate fear. Restricted May contain strong violence, heavy realistic blood, moderate crude humor, romantic themes, unplayable gambling content, the presence of alcohol, strong language, and/or moderate fear. These experiences are only available to 17+ users who verified their ages by completing ID verification. Use Roblox as an opportunity to connect with your child or teen Be Curious, Not Accusatory: Ask open-ended questions about their Roblox time. "What games did you play today?" "What was the coolest thing you built?" "Did you play with any friends?" "Did anything weird or uncomfortable happen?" Talk About "Stranger Danger" Online: Explain that online "friends" are still strangers. Emphasize never sharing personal information like their real name, school, address, phone number, or passwords. Discuss In-Game Purchases: Help them understand that Robux cost real money. If they use Robux, talk about budgeting and responsible spending. Create a Team Mentality: Frame safety discussions as working together. "Let's figure out how to make Roblox fun and safe for you." Teach Digital Citizenship Skills Although Roblox has made some safety updates, there are still risks with using Roblox, such as cyberbullying and inappropriate content with violent or sexual themes. You can equip your child with the knowledge to handle tricky situations themselves. Blocking and Reporting: Show them how to block users who make them feel uncomfortable and how to report inappropriate behavior or games directly within Roblox. Let them know it's okay – and important – to use these tools. Recognizing Scams: Talk about common scams (like fake "free Robux" offers) and why they shouldn't click suspicious links or give away account information. Taking Breaks: Encourage healthy screen time habits. Set limits for Roblox play, just like you would for screentime generally, TV, or other activities. We want you to feel empowered in your digital parenthood to raise a well-informed digital citizen so that your child is better able to engage in online gaming and interactions more safely with eyes open. This article was created in partnership with Bayley Taple. References https://www.bloomberg.com/features/2024-roblox-pedophile-problem/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6PYj93SGxc https://en.help.roblox.com/hc/en-us/categories/200213830-Parents-Safety-and-ModerationNew Resource: Tech/Life Balance Movement & Outdoor Guide🏕️
We’ve all seen it. Too much screen time leaves kids overstimulated, irritable, and disconnected from the world around them. Research confirms what families feel—kids need more movement, nature, and real-world connection. That’s why the California Partners Project and California First Partner Jennifer Siebel Newsom created a new guide to help families find better tech/life balance—without stress, shame, or unrealistic expectations. Inside, you’ll find: ✔ Conversation starters to help you connect ✔ Actionable tips to promote movement and time in nature ✔ Creative ways to work with tech—not against it This is about progress over perfection. And the guide is designed for real families doing their best in a tech-saturated world. ✨ Get the guide hereNew Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guide📚
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
The Teen Advisory Panel: Shaping Aura's Balance Tools for Teens, by Teens
At Aura, we believe the best way to create tools for managing digital well-being is to listen to those most affected by technology—teens. That’s why we created our Teen Advisory Panel: to ensure our balance tools are not only science-backed but also aligned with the needs and concerns of the teens who will use them. Designed to help families foster healthier digital habits, these tools focus on areas like screen time, nighttime activity, and social interactions. By consulting a diverse group of teens across the U.S., we created features that empower both parents and teens to manage digital behaviors in a supportive, privacy-respecting way. These tools are shaped by real teen input, not just expert research, to ensure they are relevant and practical—helping families find the right balance between tech use and well-being. Q: Why did you decide to create a Teen Advisory Panel? Kids are the best experts when it comes to understanding their own experiences, especially with technology. It's easy for adults to assume we know what's best, but we can't truly understand their digital world unless we listen to them directly. The Teen Advisory Panel is more than feedback—it’s a partnership. We wanted teens to help shape a product that balances privacy, independence, and well-being, ensuring the tools we’re developing are something they actually want and need. Q: How did you engage with the teens, and how did you collect their feedback? We recruited teens from across the U.S., ensuring a mix of geographic, ethnic, and cultural diversity. By hearing from a diverse group of teens, we aimed to create tools that not only provide insights for parents but also empower teens to take control of their tech habits. The panel engaged through live sessions and surveys, offering real-time feedback on features like screen time tracking, nighttime activity monitoring, and social pattern analysis. We also used these sessions to identify barriers, like privacy concerns, and learn how we can address them in the product. Q: What did you learn from their feedback, especially around potential barriers? Transparency was key. Many teens were concerned about how much information their parents would see. They wanted privacy but also recognized the importance of parents having insights to help guide healthier habits. After seeing prototypes, however, the teens felt more comfortable, as they understood how the tools would be used to support their well-being rather than invade their privacy. Q: Will there be a focus on improving the online balance experience? Yes! The goal of these tools is to help families create a balanced digital lifestyle. Teens told us balance isn’t just about limiting screen time; it’s about understanding their routines and helping parents see shifts in behavior, such as how late-night gaming affects sleep. Our tools will provide real-time feedback, customized to each family’s needs. It’s not about policing but about fostering healthier tech habits in a way that works for everyone. Q: How will the Teen Advisory Panel continue to influence product development in the future? The Teen Advisory Panel isn’t just a one-time feedback session—it’s an ongoing partnership. We’ll continue to engage with teens to ensure that our tools evolve alongside their changing needs. Their insights will keep guiding updates and new features, ensuring that Aura’s digital balance tools remain relevant and effective in helping families navigate the complexities of digital life. Q: How can parents and teens learn more about Aura's digital balance tools? If you're a parent wanting to understand your child’s digital habits—or a teen seeking ways to manage screen time, sleep, and social interactions—Aura’s balance tools are designed for you. We’ve worked closely with teens like those in our Teen Advisory Panel to create features that are insightful and respect privacy. To learn more, click here. Together, we can create a balanced digital lifestyle that supports both parents and teens in navigating the challenges of today’s connected world.Talking to Teens About AI: A Quick Guide for Parents
How AI Impacts Everyday Life Aura data has shown that one in five children are actively using AI-based apps, including accessing content meant for adults. Artificial Intelligence (AI) is changing the way kids learn, communicate, and use technology. From AI-powered tutoring to chatbot companions and deepfake technology, these tools offer exciting possibilities but also bring risks. While AI can boost creativity, education, and efficiency, it can also expose kids to inappropriate content, social manipulation, and ethical concerns. What is Generative AI? AI comes in different forms, which can make it hard for parents to keep up! Generative AI (Gen AI) creates new content—text, images, music, and videos—by recognizing patterns in the data it has learned from. Unlike traditional AI, which analyzes information, Gen AI generates entirely new outputs. Some common examples include: Chatbots – AI tools that help with conversations and writing. AI-generated images and deepfakes – Used to create or alter pictures and videos. AI-powered music and content creators – Programs that compose music, generate video scripts, and assist with storytelling. While these tools can be useful, they also pose risks, such as generating inappropriate content and spreading misinformation. How Teens Use AI Many parents don’t realize how much their kids are already using AI. A Common Sense Media survey of 1,045 children found that 70% of teens have used AI, but only 37% of parents were aware (Madden et al., 2024). Since AI tools are so easy to access, parents must take an active role in helping their kids use AI safely and responsibly. Hope Lab's report from the survey also explored the question: "What is one important thing adults should know about how teens use AI?" through additional research and analysis. The findings highlighted several key use areas: AI in Schoolwork – Teens use AI regularly for assignments, sometimes in ways that cross into cheating. General Curiosity – Many teens ask AI random questions to learn or get quick answers. Companionship – Some use AI chatbots for comfort and as conversation partners. Creativity & Entertainment – Teens enjoy AI for art, music, and other creative projects. Self-Image & Social Media – Some modify their appearance in photos using AI tools. Dishonesty & Bullying – AI is sometimes used for deception, such as faking voices to trick parents or for cyberbullying. Sexual Curiosity – Some teens turn to AI for intimate or explicit conversations. Despite these concerns, teens also believe adults can play a supportive role in helping them navigate AI responsibly. Understanding AI Risks Aura is studying the safety measures and risks of generative AI apps to help parents understand how to monitor them wisely. Some AI tools are safer than others, so it’s important to know which ones need extra caution. Aura has created the following categories to help parents and teens make informed choices about AI use: High-risk AI – Includes chatbots and deepfakes that could lead to emotional dependency, misinformation, online exploitation, or grooming. Moderate-risk AI – Includes learning tools that could pose ethical concerns, such as AI-generated homework assistance, or be misused if safeguards are bypassed. Low-risk AI – Includes creativity and problem-solving tools that help with education when used responsibly. By understanding these levels, parents can guide their children toward AI tools that are both safe and beneficial. Helping Your Teen Navigate AI Safely AI is advancing quickly, which means risks like misinformation, bias, and ethical concerns are always evolving. But just as we teach kids to stop, look, and think before crossing the street, we can teach them to pause, question, and verify when using AI. You don’t need to have all the answers—just starting the conversation is a great first step. Here are some practical ways to talk to your child about AI: Foster Open Conversations – Ask your child about their experiences with AI and encourage critical thinking about AI-generated content. If they’re using a new AI tool, ask why they like it and how they use it. Trying AI tools yourself can also help you understand their digital world and make these conversations easier. Encourage Responsible AI Use – Teach your child that AI is a tool for learning and creativity, but they should be mindful of ethics and privacy. Remind them that AI-generated content can sound human but isn’t always accurate. Just like talking to a friend, AI doesn’t know everything—encourage them to question and fact-check before trusting AI-generated information. Educate About AI’s Risks – Explain how AI algorithms work and discuss the risks of misinformation and manipulation. AI doesn’t “know” facts—it predicts answers based on data, which means it can be wrong or biased. Also, make them aware that some AI tools collect personal data and that people can use AI to manipulate or deceive others online. Empower Critical Thinking – Teach your child to question AI-generated content by asking, Is this true? Where does this information come from? Teaching them to question AI-generated content helps them develop a healthy skepticism and navigate AI responsibly. Set Digital Boundaries – Use parental controls when needed and monitor AI-related app usage. Setting limits may be difficult—especially with teens—but remind them that these boundaries aren’t punishments. They are temporary safeguards to help them build the skills they need to use AI responsibly. Gen AI Algorithms Algorithms can be difficult to understand. Since the AI learns initially by “reading” a lot of information, the risk is that it may not have all of the necessary information which leads to misinformation. Here is a brief description of how the algorithms work at a high level: Learning from Information – AI reads and remembers tons of books, websites, and conversations. Recognizing Patterns – It notices which words and ideas go together. Guessing the Next Word – Instead of thinking, it predicts what words should come next, like a super-fast guessing game. Getting Smarter Over Time – AI improves as it gets more data, but it still doesn’t understand things like a person does. Although AI can be mistaken as a human in a conversation (especially by kids), it is a really smart computer program that learns by looking at tons of information and recognizing patterns. You’re Already Doing Enough You don’t need to be an AI expert! What matters most is staying curious, open, and involved in your child’s digital world. By learning together, you’re helping them develop the skills to use AI safely, think critically, and make responsible choices online. Since AI regulations are still developing, several organizations provide resources for parents. Check out these websites for more tips on guiding your child’s AI use: Common Sense Media (DigitalParenthood partner!) Child Rescue Coalition Unicef Hope LabUnderstanding the Impact of Influencers on Young Minds💡
Social media has drastically transformed the way many of us communicate, express ourselves, and receive information. A majority of today’s teens take in content daily from popular platforms like TikTok, YouTube, SnapChat, and Instagram, so it’s important to get a better understanding of how they are being impacted by digital influencers. Influencers are people who have a large following on social media platforms and are effectively influencing, for better or worse, the opinions and behaviors of their followers. They can be seen as trendsetters with aspirational lifestyles who have an effect on everything from what a young person buys to the way they talk. As you’re probably aware, influencers often present a perfectly curated version of their lives, which can lead to unhealthy comparisons for young people. And while influencers can have a positive impact on their followers, promoting messages like mental health support or body positivity, it can be helpful to take a look at the power they hold in the eyes of our kids and teens. Talking to your teen about influencers... By opening up the conversation surrounding social media influencers and their content with your child or teen, you’ll be helping them to absorb information more critically so that they’re better equipped to notice how it may be impacting their emotions and actions. Here are some tips to help you get started: Initiate the conversation. Check in with your child or teen about their relationship with social media. Ask how it makes them feel, what they enjoy most about it, and what they are finding challenging. Put away distractions so that you’re fully present for the conversation and help them to feel heard by repeating back what they’ve said. Take their experience seriously and try to understand what is going on from their perspective without attempting to jump right in and fix it. Navigating social media can be difficult for all of us, so let them know that they’re not alone in any struggles they’re experiencing and that they can always come and talk to you about their digital life. Discuss real life versus social media content. Take time to talk to your child about how influencers often present an altered version of reality online that does not include the real, messy aspects of life. They are also often paid to promote products, so their content may be influenced by sponsors. Influencers can also encourage unrealistic beauty standards thanks to filters, as well as materialism by urging followers to buy products that they endorse. Take time to scroll through social media with your child and point out what aspects do and do not reflect reality so that they can begin to do the same. Discuss unhelpful thoughts. Encourage your teen to begin to notice their thoughts as they scroll social media. Ask them if that voice inside of their head sometimes says critical things like, “I wish I looked like that” or “I’ll never be able to afford clothes as nice as theirs.” It’s completely normal to compare ourselves to others, especially when their lives look perfect online, but these thoughts can be painful to experience. Once they’re able to notice these unhelpful thoughts, teach your teen to try flipping them into more helpful thoughts like, “I love the way I dress” or “I know that this stuff isn’t real, and I like the way that I look.” It may feel forced at first, but simply noticing and negating unhelpful self-talk is a powerful way to help them feel their best. Clean up the feed together. Encourage your child to clean out the clutter from their social media feeds, just like they’d clean out their closet. Take notice of what accounts and content are bringing them joy or inspiring them, and which ones are causing them to feel like they’re not measuring up. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art or nature? You can sit with them while they unfollow, block, or mute any content that is no longer making them feel their best. And you can even spring clean your feed right along with them to set a positive example and bring more mindfulness into your own digital world. Take tech breaks. Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling so it’s easy for young people to spend hours online each day. Create limits surrounding devices and set screen-free times and zones both inside and outside of your home. Encourage your child to prioritize real-life activities and connections with others. You can even come up with a list of tech-free activities that the entire family can turn to. Social media can be an excellent way for young people to connect with others, but it can also have a negative impact on the way that they feel. Be sure to check-in regularly with your child about their digital experiences and continue to open up conversations surrounding influencers, unhelpful thinking, and how they can access support. If you could use some help in navigating tech as a family, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.
