Now What? A Caregiver’s Guide to Navigating Next Steps After a Risk Alert

Receiving a risk alert about your child's risky behaviors can be overwhelming and scary. These initial reactions of fear and confusion are common. It is important to know that you are not alone. Many caregivers feel this way when experiencing uncertainty in these situations, and your concern is a sign of how much you care about your child's wellbeing.

How you respond in this moment matters. Your reaction plays an important role in helping your child feel supported and safe. Being prepared ensures that you can get connected with the necessary support for your child’s well-being. The information here should provide you with steps to take if your child is in emotional distress:

Understand Your Own Response

Before talking to your child, take a moment for yourself. Breathe deeply. Give yourself permission to feel your own emotions without judgment. This is stressful! This isn't to get rid of what you're feeling, but rather to create space to respond with calm and compassion. Being more grounded in the moment, versus reacting from a place of emotion, can help your child feel understood and safe, so that you can help them navigate the issues.

Create a Safe Space

First, ensure immediate physical safety. If your child is actively exhibiting or threatening harmful behavior and is in immediate danger of harming themselves, stay with them and seek help right away. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also call or text the Suicide Lifeline (call 988) and Crisis Textline (text 741741), which are available 24/7. It’s essential to remove and safely store any dangerous or potentially harmful items in your home if your child is at risk of harming themselves, including firearms, knives, medications, sharp tools, scissors, and flammable devices.

After ensuring physical safety, you can talk to your child in a calm and reassuring tone:

Example (if they are calm): "I can see that you are in a lot of pain right now, and I am here for you. We will navigate this together, and I know resources we can use to help us."

Example (if they are physically in distress– e.g., crying): " I know this is a lot. I can see these emotions are really strong in your body right now. Let's start by taking a few deep breaths together. I am here to support you."

If they are not in immediate crisis, choose a quiet place to talk and reassure them that they are not in trouble. They may be more likely to share about challenges if they know you’re not angry with them.

Begin the conversation in a quiet space:

Ask them some general questions. It can be helpful to frame this as a statement if your child is likely to respond to a question with "yes" or "no".

Example: "I noticed some things going on and wanted to check in with you. Even if it's hard to explain, I'm here. Can you tell me what's been happening? How are you feeling?"
Example: "I noticed some things and wanted to check in with you. Even if it's hard to explain, I'm here. Tell me more about what's been going on."

Asking what they want from you can help encourage more open communication

Example: “Do you want me to just listen or help you problem solve?”

Listen & Reassure

When your child opens up, it is important to listen. Often, we want to jump in and "fix" things. In this moment, validate their feelings and acknowledge that it sounds hard or that you can tell they are in distress. Reassure them that they are not alone and that you appreciate their openness with you. Sometimes, children have a hard time discussing these feelings. It's also okay if your child only shares a word or two. Reinforce and praise that. You can then use the 24/7 hotline above to help facilitate or navigate the situation if they are not telling you additional information.

Other ways to provide support and empathy:

Example: " I know this can be hard to talk about. I appreciate you sharing this with me, even though it may be stressful. I want to be there for you."
Example: "This can be hard to talk about. I can just sit with you right now, and let me know whenever you are ready to talk. I am here to listen."

Additional Steps to Support and Help

At Home

Continue to foster open communication by building trust, so your child feels safe sharing their emotions.
Create a safety plan: collaborate to recognize warning signs and outline steps for managing a crisis. You can use this 988 template (https://988lifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Brown_StanleySafetyPlanTemplate1.pdf).
Build a support network: help your child identify people whom they trust and feel ok reaching out to during difficult times.

Seeking Professional Help

If you are concerned for your child’s immediate safety, contact emergency services:

Call the Suicide Lifeline at 988
Text the Crisis Textline at 741741
Call 911
Bring your child to the nearest emergency room

If your child is not in immediate danger

Contacting a mental health professional or a community mental health center can help get your child connected with key services.
Contact your child’s pediatrician for additional guidance and well-being advice.

This article was developed in partnership with Zachary Bricken, Aura's medical operations intern.