Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.2Views0likes0CommentsFree Download: Internet Safety Maze⬇️
A fun, free activity in honor of National Puzzle Day: Guide Monica through the maze to collect online safety badges. You'll earn: Password Prodigy Badge Privacy Protector Badge Popup Popper Badge Kind Keyboard Badge Time Master Badge Parents, use the question and answer key on page two to prompt your child as they make their way through the maze. DOWNLOAD HERE⬇️33Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.49Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything with Dr. Scott Kollins: TECHWISE Study
We’ve all heard the buzz about device use and social media impacting our kids' wellness and mental health. Despite the research and news reports, experts are still working to determine whether this digital world is helpful, harmful, or both. That’s why we’re launching a study to explore how kids' digital habits, including social media and online games, connect to their mental wellness, physical activity, and sleep. Hear more about this important research and how you can get involved by joining our event! When: December 18, 2024, 11am-12pm CST Where: RSVP to the remote live event here! To join the study, visit aura.com/techwise18Views0likes0CommentsTop tips for helping your teen curate a healthier social media feed
That’s why it’s important to help your child better understand their relationship to social media now so that they can begin to build healthier habits for a lifetime. The risks of social media Social media app algorithms are designed to keep us hooked, so it’s understandable that your teen (and you!) can sometimes get sucked into endless scrolling sessions. The internet can be a fascinating place, introducing us to many things that we never would have experienced otherwise, but it can also begin to take away from the enjoyment of real-life moments and connections. We’re still learning more about how kids and teens are being impacted by apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat, but recent studies have shown that spending three hours a day using social media was linked to a higher risk of mental health concerns for tweens and teens. And the Surgeon General has even issued an advisory about the effects of social media on youth mental health. Every child is different, but spending excessive amounts of time on social media may cause: Disruption in sleep patterns Decline in academic performance Less time spent connecting with friends and family Negative impact on body image An increased risk of cyberbullying, exposure to online predators, or catfishing Mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression We know that this list can be alarming, but rest assured that there are steps you can take to help your tween or teen have a healthier relationship with their social feeds. How to help your teen build healthier social media habits Since social media is likely here to stay, it’s important to have ongoing conversations with your child about how they can use these apps to positively enhance their lives. Here are some steps you can take right now: Have open, honest conversations. Frequently take time to talk to your teen about their relationship with social media, actively listening to their experiences while checking judgment and distractions at the door. You can start by asking thoughtful questions, like: What parts of social media do you enjoy? What parts do you like the least? How do you feel after spending time on social media? What role do you want social media to play in your day-to-day life? What does a healthy relationship with social media look like to you? Teach your teen to curate their feed. Explain to your child that it’s important to tend to your social media feeds like you would a garden, removing the weeds so that there is space for healthy crops to grow. Encourage them to notice as they scroll what content or accounts bring joy, inspiration, or connection. And ask them to pay attention to what brings up unhelpful thoughts or feelings. Then they can take some time to prune out what is not serving them well by unfollowing, blocking, or muting. You can connect by offering up an example of when online content impacted the way you felt and how you handled it. Talk about unhelpful thoughts. It can be easy to compare ourselves to other people’s perfectly-filtered images, but it’s not fair to compare our real, messy lives to highlight reels. Encourage your teen to notice when they hear that unhelpful voice inside their head, saying things like, “I’ll never look like that” or “My vacations are never that cool.” Being flooded with unrealistic beauty standards can take a toll on a young person’s sense of self, so help them to flip these thoughts into more positive ones like, “My body is healthy and strong, and I really like my sense of style.” Schedule tech breaks as a family. Remember to model healthy breaks from technology for your child. Can you work together to designate a chunk of time each day or week to unplug together? Maybe it’s taking Friday night as a “Tech Shabbat” where you can cook a meal together or have a family game night. Or maybe it’s Sunday morning so you can take a nature walk together. Can you create “screen-free zones” within your home, like the dinner table or your bedrooms? Help them prioritize hobbies, responsibilities, and IRL relationships. Explain to your teen that you understand it’s easy to get lost in a scrolling session and support them in better organizing their time. Help them to prioritize the things they have to do (like homework or chores), along with the things that they love to do (like spending time with friends or playing sports) before spending time on their screens. Teach online safety. Let your teen know that it’s easy for people to pretend that they are someone else online. Tell them to never share personal information online and to never agree to meet up with anyone that they don’t know. Encourage them to report and block all trolls and to come to you if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or if they experience bullying online. Ensure they have a support system in place. Let your child know that so many people have complicated relationships with social media, and they are never alone. Encourage them to come to you if they are struggling. And consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you or your teen could use support in navigating the challenges surrounding social media. We know that it can be difficult to stay involved with all of your teen’s online activities, but by having frequent open and honest conversations about the impact of social media, you’re letting your child know that they can always come to you, no matter what. Remember that you don’t have to do this alone, so reach out to a mental health professional anytime you could use some extra support.12Views0likes0CommentsThe Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.) There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️422Views0likes0CommentsNavigating technology to promote resilience and self-esteem
A teenager’s online world can be a safe space to explore who they are, connect with likeminded people, and even find valuable resources for mental well-being. But teens can also encounter online bullies, negative comments, heavily filtered images, and other tricky-to-navigate situations that have a resounding offline impact…including lowering self-esteem. How does technology affect self-esteem? The biggest impacts often come from online conversations and comments, as well as the content your teen consumes. On the one hand, a lot of a teen’s online interactions can be really positive. Chatting on Discord while gaming, sharing style tips on Instagram, and Snapchatting with friends all allow your teen to explore who they are. This plays a part in the development of their self-image—and a healthy self-image developed online can improve offline confidence. Teens may even turn to their online communities for invaluable support. TikTok has its own mental well-being guide, and there are countless mental health resources shared by other users on the platform, too. On the other hand, the internet is a vast place, and it isn’t all positive. Your teen could encounter misinformation (which they are more likely to believe than adults) or heavily filtered, edited images that contribute to a warped sense of self or body image. Our comparison group used to be our immediate community and peers. Now, we can compare what we have, what we look like, and our abilities to unmatchable standards and to people with extraordinarily different means. Some studies have shown that exposure to edited images—and easy access to tools that enable physical tweaks on selfies—may lead to teens feeling less satisfied with their appearance. What about cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a genuine concern, too. Think about how overwhelming your own phone can be with pings and dings from your friends, family, and work. Now imagine that you know a portion of those notifications are going to be critiquing you. It’d be hard not to start feeling bad about yourself. Online bullying can occur on a large, even public, scale. It’s a far cry from dealing with schoolyard bullies, and teens today may find that mean comments, images, or threats from total strangers are wearing down their self-esteem. Extracurriculars can help teens build good self-esteem Balancing online and offline time is of course important, but what your teen does in that time can make a big difference. Extracurriculars are a great way for teens to explore more of their interests and take healthy risks like trying a new sport or auditioning for the school play. Whether your teen enjoys football, music, painting, or something else, offline clubs support their identity exploration and give them a chance to develop new skills. Extracurriculars don’t need to mean joining a team or club, or spending lots of money. Your teen can even merge offline extracurriculars and hobbies with online life, too—like attending a video game meetup at the local library or exploring forms of digital art through YouTube tutorials. Other ways parents can support teens’ self-esteem As always, communication is key. This includes both letting your teen know you’re here for them if they’re feeling low and having open dialogue about internet and device use boundaries. Teens are collaborative and creative on the boundary topic if you ask them during calm moments. By agreeing on these guidelines together (including when they’ll get more, or less, access) you can help to protect your kids online and reduce arguments down the line. You can also: Keep social networks small and private. Limiting your teens’ online circles to real world friends and family won’t stop all bullying, but it can reduce it. Explore ways to learn and be creative with technology. From online classes to “painting” with digital apps like Procreate, there are many ways to turn screen time into an engaging experience. Make sure your teen knows how to find reliable mental health resources. These could range from online forums to apps that connect you with licensed therapists. Social media is a common spot to find mental health resources now, but it’s important to learn how to evaluate if the source is reliable. Discuss digital literacy and how to identify misinformation. Common Sense Media’s guide on teaching kids about misinformation is a helpful place to start—they even link to games that you can play with kids to help them learn. Create time for online activities together. You’ll have to follow your teen’s lead on this one, as not all teenagers want to bring their parents into their online worlds. That’s okay, as long as you’re confident they’re staying safe online. But if they’re open to your involvement, you could explore new games, videos, and communities together. Finally, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs of worsening self-esteem. If you notice your teen is more distressed after using their device, eating habits change or you see an increase in negative self-talk, talk with them to learn about what’s going on and consider seeking help from a therapist. To learn more about tech addiction—and its impact on developing minds—visit our resource center or Ask an Expert here on DigitalParenthood.com.37Views0likes0Comments