New Instagram "Teen Accounts"
I recently came across this article about Instagram rolling out new protections for teens, and I wanted to share it with you all. As a parent, I'm always concerned about my child's online safety, and it seems like Instagram is finally taking some steps to address these concerns. ... The article discusses how Instagram is introducing features like age verification tools and limiting interactions between teens and adults they don't follow. They're also making changes to default settings for new teen accounts to increase privacy. It's good to see social media platforms acknowledging the need for safer spaces for our kids, but I still wonder how effective these measures will be. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think these new protections will make a difference?Family guide: 5 strategies for setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids
These technologies can provide cognitive, social, and emotional benefits, such as expanded learning opportunities, global connections, and outlets for self-expression. Research indicates thatscreen media that are intentionally designed to support kids’ development can help them do better in school, learn new skills, and become better readers. And it’s not just about learning — playing video games and other online activities can also help kids build friendships and meaningful connections with others. However, potential risks and negative effects, such as social isolation, overuse, and mental health issues must also be considered and addressed. As kids grow up immersed in digital media, parents and other caregivers play a crucial role in guiding their digital media use and creating a supportive environment for meaningful technology interactions. Here are the Digital Wellness Lab’stop five strategiesto help parents support their kids’ learningto set healthy boundaries and balance online and offline time. 1. Get involved: co-playing and co-viewing. If parents want a real view of how their kids spend their time online, they need to participate actively in their kids’ digital experiences. By engaging in digital media activities alongside kids, parents can help them make better choices about the content they consume and encourage meaningful discussions about themes, messages, and values. One effective strategy is co-viewing and co-playing with kids, which fosters bonding and shared enjoyment while also providing an opportunity for guidance and supervision. Co-playing can also help identify potential risks, such as inappropriate content or interactions, and allow parents to address them promptly and effectively. By sitting with children and picking up a video game controller or scrolling through online videos together, parents can find shared interests, encourage more open communication, and enable their child to be the expert. 2. Model good digital habits. It’s never too early to model healthy, balanced media and technology habits for children. When adults show kids responsible digital behavior, it sets a strong example for them to follow. Parents can help their kids find balance and purpose in their digital lives by being mindful of their own screen use, focusing on meaningful online activities, and being good digital citizens. Openly discussing their digital habits and the reasons behind them can further emphasize the importance of responsible use, ensuring kids understand the benefits of adopting such practices. Besides being digital role models, parents can highlight the importance of offline activities by participating with their kids. Whether it’s getting active, exploring creative pursuits, or simply enjoying quality time together without screens, these activities will show them the value of a balanced lifestyle that includes both digital and real-world experiences. 3. Use creative apps. Purposeful and meaningful digital media activities can help establish supportive habits and boundaries for kids. Parents can ensure their children’s exposure to digital media enriches their learning experience by encouraging them to explore creative apps and websites. Online creative outlets can inspire and nurture kids’ artistic and imaginative abilities. Platforms that support digital art, music, and writing enable young people to explore various forms of self-expression, cultivate their talents, and share their creations with a broader audience. Encouraging children to engage with these creative tools can foster emotional well-being and personal growth and help them develop essential skills like problem-solving, communication, and collaboration. 4. Create opportunities for more mindful screen engagement. Children develop at different rates, and all families have different values and routines. This can make one-size-fits-all rules about screen time and content difficult to determine. However, families can encourage their children to be mindful of what they are doing online and why. Working together to create a sharedFamily Media Planis one way for families to encourage critical thinking about the types of media they want to consume and the devices they want to use. It is an excellent way to ensure that everyone in the household is on the same page regarding digital media use. Families can revise the plan at regular intervals as children become more media literate and families begin to understand more about the positive and negative effects of technology and media for themselves and their children. Once guidelines are agreed upon, it’s important for parents and caregivers to follow them, too. In ourrecent Pulse Survey, just 37% of adolescents reported their parents followed their own technology rules, which can impact how kids feel about the rules (and whether they choose to follow them). Families can also create screen-free zones and set screen-free times to promote balance. Designate areas like bedrooms and dining rooms as spaces where screens are off-limits and identify times, such as mealtime or homework sessions, when screens are to be turned off. This approach encourages family connection, fosters healthy sleep habits, and makes mealtime an opportunity for meaningful conversation. 5. Make time for breaks and offline fun. Encouraging regular breaks from screens and getting kids involved in offline activities is important for their social, emotional, and cognitive development. These breaks help them enjoy a balanced life with digital and real-world experiences. Encourage offline hobbies like reading, drawing, or playing musical instruments. Get kids moving with sports, dancing, or outdoor play—all great for their physical and mental health. Parents should also give kids plenty of opportunities to socialize face-to-face, building essential social skills and strong friendships. By balancing screen time with offline activities, parents can guide their kids to better digital media habits. Moving forward. As technology becomes more integrated into our daily lives, setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids is critical. As parents and educators, we are responsible for guiding children’s digital media use and creating a supportive environment that balances digital and IRL (“in real life”) experiences. By implementing strategies like these, parents can help kids develop healthy digital media habits and navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly. With intentional and purposeful effort, we can all help children have a well-rounded and enriching experience with digital media. We encourage parents to use these strategies to support their children’s healthy digital media habits. We invite parents and caregivers to explore ourFamily Digital Wellness Guide for more resources, tools, and support to help them navigate their kids’ digital media use.Raising digital natives: Strategies for healthy tech use in youth
Our kids have never known a world without the internet and smartphones. To them, devices are a normal part of nearly all activities—and an important part of figuring out who they are through socialization. That said, research shows that too much screen time is potentially detrimental to developing minds and bodies. As parents, it's our job to help our kids strike the right balance between life online and offline. But without being digital natives ourselves, this can be a tricky process to navigate. Like many parts of parenting, it requires two things: a well of patience and good communication. Start the screen time conversation early It's never too early to start talking about (and demonstrating) healthy screen use, even if your kids aren't using devices of their own just yet. You can start by talking about how you use your devices, setting your own screen time limits, and initiating screen-free time with your kids. It can be hard at first, but I think you'll find that you feel better in the long run, too. I know I did. When our family implemented a screen-free zone during dinner time (including meal prep and clean up), the urge to check my phone was strong, even if I meant to have screen-free time with my family. There always seemed to be a good excuse to check some fact about something we were discussing, look at the schedule for the next day, etc. And these small diversions inevitably led to an “oh, I will just check email or Slack real quick,” which defeated the purpose. Ultimately we decided that putting devices in another room was the best way to keep us all honest, screen-free, and fully focused on family time. Consider different devices When it's time for your kids to get their own devices, remember: it's not all or nothing. Try easing them into the responsibility of having and using a device by starting with a "dumb" phone (also called a feature phone) or a smartwatch that's connected to your cell phone plan. This lets them contact you in an emergency without the draw of social media and games—or the possible risks associated with unmonitored internet access. Agree on rules (and consequences) right away It's been said that clarity is kindness, and in this case, clarity is household harmony as well. When you give your kids a new device, talk about, and agree on, how they'll use it and what the consequences will be if they break rules around screen time or app usage. Having this conversation when they first get a new device makes actually implementing consequences easier and more effective. If you wait until you're in the heat of the moment—when you're mad your kids won't get off their phones and they're mad you're asking—you may promise a punishment that's hard to follow through on. "No computer for a week" sounds okay in that second, but what about when it's time for schoolwork, or to video call Grandma? Clinically speaking, consequences delivered in a moment of friction can throw kids off-balance, too. And when kids don't know what to expect, they may become even more upset and exacerbate the situation further. By agreeing upon rules and potential consequences up front, you're giving your kids the stability and expectations that they need. You're also diffusing the battle for control and showing them that you're sticking to a mutual agreement. For some families, clarity of rules and expectations can be emphasized by writing them down and keeping this written record handy to review. Encourage balanced use of screens Smartphones and computers aren't just a way to do schoolwork or connect with friends. They can also be outlets for creativity and portals for independent learning or exploration. If you're having a hard time getting your kids to put down the screens, look for device-based activities that are stimulating to the mind. For instance, if your daughter likes playing video games, you could help her explore what goes into drawing and rendering the animations. She could try her own hand at creating game-like scenes—or even coding her own game—using low-cost apps and resources available for iPads and computers. Who knows, it could turn out that you have the next Michelangelo or Disney on your hands … just one whose tools of trade involve pixels, not paintbrushes. Your guide to raising a healthy digital native Ultimately, you'll want to remember these three key things: Start the conversation early. When you discuss healthy device use early on, it's easier to guide your kids toward making smart choices (and enforce necessary boundaries) as their screen time increases. Establish consequences now. Consequences created on the fly tend to be more extreme than those agreed upon calmly beforehand. If you automatically jump to the strictest punishment you can think of, you might accidentally lose your chance to escalate consequences in the future if needed. Model what you want to see. By putting my phone down when I say I will, I'm showing my children that I control my devices; they don't control me. Showing your kids what healthy device use looks like can say just as much as, or more than, a verbal conversation does. And remember, nobody's perfect. There will be times that you realize you aren't modeling the right behavior or moments when you jump to an unplanned consequence. Keep communicating with your kids, though—together, your family can find the right balance.The importance of identity exploration in adolescence: How parents can support and keep their teens safe
Identity development is a lifelong journey, starting with that first "no" in infancy and moving on to the big life questions: "Who do I want to be? What do I want to do?" While this process never really ends, adolescence is when these questions first start to take shape. It’s a time of social, physical and internal changes, and suddenly, that separation from parent identity can feel much stronger. Letting our kids spread their wings is scary, especially when our instinct is to protect them and we know they’ll make mistakes. That’s why, each week, I’ll be sharing science-backed insights to help you navigate the adolescent years with your family. What does identity exploration have to do with digital safety? Think back to when you were in middle and high school. You probably had a few styles or music choices that now make you groan. Maybe you tried out being the “punk-rock” kid, the “preppy” kid, or the “I-don’t-like-anything-that’s-popular” kid. We often think about risks in terms of illegal activity or danger, but trying out different identities is another form of risk-taking or self-exploration. Risk is how teens explore and figure out where they belong in the world. Today, a lot of that exploration is happening online across social media, group chats, games and more. The difference between then and now is that my “studded belt” and Will Smith dance routine evidence is constrained to a few physical photos. But, every time our kids share, click, like, follow, or post something online, it shapes their digital footprint in ways that our offline identity exploration didn't. The algorithms that power digital spaces curate this data and deliver different experiences based on our actions. It’s why your teen’s TikTok might be full of makeup and dance tutorials, while yours might be parenting and home project content. As parents, it’s important for us to keep a pulse on what our kids are exposed to online, and the bounds of what they can share online, while also allowing them room to create new connections and explore their online identity, too. This means we need to have a level of digital literacy that allows us to support our kids’ exploration and growth, while still knowing when to put the guardrails up. Why is it important to allow our kids to spend time online? If you were anything like me growing up, you couldn't wait to get your driver's license. But that event isn't as attractive to all teens today. Instead, many adolescents are pushing for greater digital independence: more screen time, new apps, fewer restrictions. Even though the type of independence they’re seeking looks different than it did when we were kids, the motivation is still the same. Kids are going through a series of major shifts—mental, physical, dietary, social, hormonal. Their day-to-day life begins to look different once they hit middle school or early high school, and they need to figure out who they want to be. It's healthy and important to encourage this exploration in physical and digital spaces. Allowing our kids to do so while they're living at home means they can access support when things get tough and do so with some parental scaffolding. Despite what some sensational media buzz may tell you, the digital world is not going away. If we strip away all devices and screen time when they are still at home, our kids may not get to do this exploration until they’re older and away from the familial support network. How can parents limit risk while allowing exploration? Teens and internet use isn’t a black-and-white situation. Using the tools at your disposal, and approaching screen time conversations with care, can help you keep your kids safe without being overly restrictive. Stay educated. Even if you’re not much of a social media user or gamer yourself, get to know more about the apps your kids love (you can find resources that break down what you need to know about popular social media platforms right here in our community). Be a sounding board. Create a safe space for your kids to ask questions about what they see online or what their friends are talking about. Balance the good with the bad. If every conversation you have with your child that is about their phone is focused on what you don’t want them doing, it can create tension. Instead, try to have ongoing conversations about both the positives and negatives of their online lives—this can build a foundation of mutual trust and reinforce that you’re looking out for their best interests. Use tools to make the internet safer. Encryption, virtual private networks (VPNs), content alerts and screen time controls can help you guide your kids toward healthy, balanced device use. In next week’s column, we’ll talk more about how we can use communication to help kids as they grow and explore—including what to do when you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye.Back to school, back to screens
School’s back in session, and with that comes extra screen time for our kids. Chromebooks and iPads are a ubiquitous part of school for many children right now. They use these devices for everything from learning code to emailing classmates about projects. When you couple this schoolwork with kids' personal device use, it adds up to a lot of screen time. A lot of parents I've talked to want to get their kids off of screens as soon as school work is done, but they find it causes friction at home. This is because personal screen time is important to most kids today. As humans, we've always moved through different stages of growth–including wanting to spend more time socializing and exploring with our friends in our adolescent years. But while you and I may have done that socializing outside, at a friend's house, or at the mall, kids are now doing more of that important exploration online. My clinical practice work has shown me that the best solutions for every family will be different—but these steps are a great place for everyone to start. Set up screen-free zones or times A screen-free zone can be a physical place or a time of day when your kids, and ideally the whole family, take a break from their devices. Research shows that when we set routines around our screen time, we can have better relationships with our devices. Make time for guilt-free fun Setting screen time routines isn’t just about limiting when your kids can’t use their devices. When they know there’s a designated time to chat on social media or invite friends to play Fortnite, it helps reduce the stress and frustration around logging off for things like dinner. Plan out screen time schedules It’s also important to build in guilt-free screen time. Abruptly switching from something enjoyable, like gaming with friends, to a tough homework assignment can cause conflict. A planned schedule helps smooth these transitions. Use parental controls Sometimes kids need some digital guardrails in place to help them balance their screen time. Your kids’ personal devices may already have screen time (sometimes called “focus time”) controls built-in, and you can also restrict screen time using apps like Aura. Using these controls could look like: Fully blocking social media sites and games when it’s time for homework Allowing kids to access social media apps throughout the day, but turning off access once they’ve spent a certain cumulative amount of time on the app Only un-blocking certain apps during scheduled guilt-free screen time Scheduling internet black-out periods when it’s time for bed Model good screen time habits All of the screen time schedules and parental controls in the world can only go so far. Showing your kids what healthy versus problematic tech use looks like through your own actions can be the most effective teaching tool you have at your disposal. This isn’t to say that you can’t use your devices. It’s just a matter of being mindful about it! Creating better screen time habits in six steps To recap, navigating social and school life online is tricky for everyone. It's okay if it takes a few tries to find just the right approach for your family—just remember these six things: Strike a balance between school and fun screen time. Taking away all non-school screen time could stifle kids' chances to explore and interact with peers in casual settings. Eliminate screens from bedrooms. A good starting point for creating screen-free zones is to eliminate screens from bedrooms for sleep—and turning off screens one hour before bed is even better. Stack similar on and offline activities. Some families I work with have managed device transitions successfully by pairing similar screened and screen-free activities together, like playing online for 30 minutes and then going outside for the same length of time. Set up parental controls. Whether you use on-device controls or an app like Aura, these tools can give you better insights into how and when your kids are using their screen time. Resist the urge to scroll. If you're asking your kids to stop scrolling online during family time, try doing the same! This sets a great example—and can help your own mental well-being and sleep, too. Talk it out. Making your children active partners in deciding how and when they'll allocate their screen time—and talking about why limits are important—helps to keep everyone invested in their digital health. We'll be publishing additional resources to help you balance screen time during the school year, too—keep exploring the community for more!
