New Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guideđź“š
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
Understanding the Impact of Influencers on Young Mindsđź’ˇ
Social media has drastically transformed the way many of us communicate, express ourselves, and receive information. A majority of today’s teens take in content daily from popular platforms like TikTok, YouTube, SnapChat, and Instagram, so it’s important to get a better understanding of how they are being impacted by digital influencers. Influencers are people who have a large following on social media platforms and are effectively influencing, for better or worse, the opinions and behaviors of their followers. They can be seen as trendsetters with aspirational lifestyles who have an effect on everything from what a young person buys to the way they talk. As you’re probably aware, influencers often present a perfectly curated version of their lives, which can lead to unhealthy comparisons for young people. And while influencers can have a positive impact on their followers, promoting messages like mental health support or body positivity, it can be helpful to take a look at the power they hold in the eyes of our kids and teens. Talking to your teen about influencers... By opening up the conversation surrounding social media influencers and their content with your child or teen, you’ll be helping them to absorb information more critically so that they’re better equipped to notice how it may be impacting their emotions and actions. Here are some tips to help you get started: Initiate the conversation. Check in with your child or teen about their relationship with social media. Ask how it makes them feel, what they enjoy most about it, and what they are finding challenging. Put away distractions so that you’re fully present for the conversation and help them to feel heard by repeating back what they’ve said. Take their experience seriously and try to understand what is going on from their perspective without attempting to jump right in and fix it. Navigating social media can be difficult for all of us, so let them know that they’re not alone in any struggles they’re experiencing and that they can always come and talk to you about their digital life. Discuss real life versus social media content. Take time to talk to your child about how influencers often present an altered version of reality online that does not include the real, messy aspects of life. They are also often paid to promote products, so their content may be influenced by sponsors. Influencers can also encourage unrealistic beauty standards thanks to filters, as well as materialism by urging followers to buy products that they endorse. Take time to scroll through social media with your child and point out what aspects do and do not reflect reality so that they can begin to do the same. Discuss unhelpful thoughts. Encourage your teen to begin to notice their thoughts as they scroll social media. Ask them if that voice inside of their head sometimes says critical things like, “I wish I looked like that” or “I’ll never be able to afford clothes as nice as theirs.” It’s completely normal to compare ourselves to others, especially when their lives look perfect online, but these thoughts can be painful to experience. Once they’re able to notice these unhelpful thoughts, teach your teen to try flipping them into more helpful thoughts like, “I love the way I dress” or “I know that this stuff isn’t real, and I like the way that I look.” It may feel forced at first, but simply noticing and negating unhelpful self-talk is a powerful way to help them feel their best. Clean up the feed together. Encourage your child to clean out the clutter from their social media feeds, just like they’d clean out their closet. Take notice of what accounts and content are bringing them joy or inspiring them, and which ones are causing them to feel like they’re not measuring up. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art or nature? You can sit with them while they unfollow, block, or mute any content that is no longer making them feel their best. And you can even spring clean your feed right along with them to set a positive example and bring more mindfulness into your own digital world. Take tech breaks. Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling so it’s easy for young people to spend hours online each day. Create limits surrounding devices and set screen-free times and zones both inside and outside of your home. Encourage your child to prioritize real-life activities and connections with others. You can even come up with a list of tech-free activities that the entire family can turn to. Social media can be an excellent way for young people to connect with others, but it can also have a negative impact on the way that they feel. Be sure to check-in regularly with your child about their digital experiences and continue to open up conversations surrounding influencers, unhelpful thinking, and how they can access support. If you could use some help in navigating tech as a family, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.Raising a Connected Generation: Dr. Becky on Parenting in the Digital Age 🎥
A throwback to our DigitalParenthood Summit back in June! NYT Best-Selling Author and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy sat down with award-winning, Emmy-nominated journalist Poppy Harlow at our NYC Digital Parenthood Summit to offer parental guidance in the digital era, emphasizing that keeping kids safe is more important than keeping kids happy. The same way they can't have dessert until they finish their broccoli, children's use of technology must also be moderated. Here are 5 key ways parents can set strong boundaries: First, understand the difference between your child’s wants and needs. What purpose will technology serve them? Does your child need the new social media app they’re asking for, or do they simply just want it? Rather than brushing off requests, have conversations with your kids about the purpose they believe this new app will serve in their life. There may be a valid reason for downloading it. Second, form a group of parents to have continuous conversations over the years. Parents will avoid making split-second decisions and feel sturdier when their children go to them. Your kid will tell you that they are the only kid to not have a certain device, bedtime, or app. Years before this, when your kids are too young to negotiate, Dr. Becky recommends getting a group of parents together to discuss and plan how you all will approach these boundaries. Third, encourage kids to “gaze-in” on themselves, rather than seeking validation on social media. The way we parent our kids sets them up for how they approach the world. Naturally, people tend to focus on what everyone else is doing before considering our own values, interests, and feelings. By providing infinite access and constant exposure to other peoples’ lives, social media only adds to this pressure. It’s important that children build their confidence inside-out, rather than waiting to be told if they’re good enough. Fourth, keep the parent-child relationship separate from the technology-child relationship. Even as adults, it is difficult for us to put our phones down because it’s designed to make us unable to do that, so how can we hold our kids to such high expectations? The difference is that kids don’t make decisions for themselves, we do. So instead of setting ourselves up for frustration and children up for a power struggle or punishment, we must set a boundary that allows us to embody parental authority and tolerate our kids being upset. And lastly, give yourself permission to change course. If you were on a plane, you would want your pilot to give themselves permission to make an emergency landing if any flight information changed. Many parents disempower themselves by assuming what’s done is done. But good leaders, upon getting new information, change their plans to realign with the outcomes that they care about. Watch Dr. Becky’s full panel here:
Hear From Kids: The #1 Safety Issue Overlooked By Parents🎥
We assembled a group of teen and young adult experts to dive deeper into the topics that they feel parents need to prioritize discussing with their kids, because who better to hear it from, than kids themselves? Here are 5 key topics that young adults feel that parents often forget to prepare their kids for: You will stumble upon bad, or even untrue news There are a breadth of news platforms on social media, often with conflicting information. Spend time discussing which ones should your children pay attention to, and which ones they should disregard. There’s going to be an negative information According to this video by the AAP, “Social media can expose you to content that is violent, dangerous, or inaccurate.” Navigate how your child should be using social media, what types of content are appropriate, and remember that not all new information will have a negative impact on them. They may receive unwanted direct messages from strangers Make sure your child is aware of online predators and scammers so that they can identify and block strangers who message them. Social media can encourage a negative self image According to this video by the AAP, “As humans, it’s normal that we compare ourselves to others, but in this online environment, there’s so many more opportunities to do that.” Children and teens who are just coming into their self-esteem may be more vulnerable and prolonged exposure to unattainable body standards can manifest into poor eating habits. No matter how many restrictions you set, your child could still come across dangerous content online Maintain open conversations about online safety with your child so that they are comfortable coming to you and asking questions. Exploring the internet with your child will help you navigate what information they’re ready to learn and what information you’re ready to teach.
Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.Free Download: Internet Safety Maze⬇️
A fun, free activity in honor of National Puzzle Day: Guide Monica through the maze to collect online safety badges. You'll earn: Password Prodigy Badge Privacy Protector Badge Popup Popper Badge Kind Keyboard Badge Time Master Badge Parents, use the question and answer key on page two to prompt your child as they make their way through the maze. DOWNLOAD HERE⬇️Ask Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.
Ask Me Anything with Dr. Scott Kollins: TECHWISE Study
We’ve all heard the buzz about device use and social media impacting our kids' wellness and mental health. Despite the research and news reports, experts are still working to determine whether this digital world is helpful, harmful, or both. That’s why we’re launching a study to explore how kids' digital habits, including social media and online games, connect to their mental wellness, physical activity, and sleep. Hear more about this important research and how you can get involved by joining our event! When: December 18, 2024, 11am-12pm CST Where: RSVP to the remote live event here! To join the study, visit aura.com/techwiseTop tips for helping your teen curate a healthier social media feed
That’s why it’s important to help your child better understand their relationship to social media now so that they can begin to build healthier habits for a lifetime. The risks of social media Social media app algorithms are designed to keep us hooked, so it’s understandable that your teen (and you!) can sometimes get sucked into endless scrolling sessions. The internet can be a fascinating place, introducing us to many things that we never would have experienced otherwise, but it can also begin to take away from the enjoyment of real-life moments and connections. We’re still learning more about how kids and teens are being impacted by apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat, but recent studies have shown that spending three hours a day using social media was linked to a higher risk of mental health concerns for tweens and teens. And the Surgeon General has even issued an advisory about the effects of social media on youth mental health. Every child is different, but spending excessive amounts of time on social media may cause: Disruption in sleep patterns Decline in academic performance Less time spent connecting with friends and family Negative impact on body image An increased risk of cyberbullying, exposure to online predators, or catfishing Mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression We know that this list can be alarming, but rest assured that there are steps you can take to help your tween or teen have a healthier relationship with their social feeds. How to help your teen build healthier social media habits Since social media is likely here to stay, it’s important to have ongoing conversations with your child about how they can use these apps to positively enhance their lives. Here are some steps you can take right now: Have open, honest conversations. Frequently take time to talk to your teen about their relationship with social media, actively listening to their experiences while checking judgment and distractions at the door. You can start by asking thoughtful questions, like: What parts of social media do you enjoy? What parts do you like the least? How do you feel after spending time on social media? What role do you want social media to play in your day-to-day life? What does a healthy relationship with social media look like to you? Teach your teen to curate their feed. Explain to your child that it’s important to tend to your social media feeds like you would a garden, removing the weeds so that there is space for healthy crops to grow. Encourage them to notice as they scroll what content or accounts bring joy, inspiration, or connection. And ask them to pay attention to what brings up unhelpful thoughts or feelings. Then they can take some time to prune out what is not serving them well by unfollowing, blocking, or muting. You can connect by offering up an example of when online content impacted the way you felt and how you handled it. Talk about unhelpful thoughts. It can be easy to compare ourselves to other people’s perfectly-filtered images, but it’s not fair to compare our real, messy lives to highlight reels. Encourage your teen to notice when they hear that unhelpful voice inside their head, saying things like, “I’ll never look like that” or “My vacations are never that cool.” Being flooded with unrealistic beauty standards can take a toll on a young person’s sense of self, so help them to flip these thoughts into more positive ones like, “My body is healthy and strong, and I really like my sense of style.” Schedule tech breaks as a family. Remember to model healthy breaks from technology for your child. Can you work together to designate a chunk of time each day or week to unplug together? Maybe it’s taking Friday night as a “Tech Shabbat” where you can cook a meal together or have a family game night. Or maybe it’s Sunday morning so you can take a nature walk together. Can you create “screen-free zones” within your home, like the dinner table or your bedrooms? Help them prioritize hobbies, responsibilities, and IRL relationships. Explain to your teen that you understand it’s easy to get lost in a scrolling session and support them in better organizing their time. Help them to prioritize the things they have to do (like homework or chores), along with the things that they love to do (like spending time with friends or playing sports) before spending time on their screens. Teach online safety. Let your teen know that it’s easy for people to pretend that they are someone else online. Tell them to never share personal information online and to never agree to meet up with anyone that they don’t know. Encourage them to report and block all trolls and to come to you if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or if they experience bullying online. Ensure they have a support system in place. Let your child know that so many people have complicated relationships with social media, and they are never alone. Encourage them to come to you if they are struggling. And consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you or your teen could use support in navigating the challenges surrounding social media. We know that it can be difficult to stay involved with all of your teen’s online activities, but by having frequent open and honest conversations about the impact of social media, you’re letting your child know that they can always come to you, no matter what. Remember that you don’t have to do this alone, so reach out to a mental health professional anytime you could use some extra support.
