The Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.) There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️Mental Health Day Report: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) here on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly here to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.Family guide: 5 strategies for setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids
These technologies can provide cognitive, social, and emotional benefits, such as expanded learning opportunities, global connections, and outlets for self-expression. Research indicates that screen media that are intentionally designed to support kids’ development can help them do better in school, learn new skills, and become better readers. And it’s not just about learning — playing video games and other online activities can also help kids build friendships and meaningful connections with others. However, potential risks and negative effects, such as social isolation, overuse, and mental health issues must also be considered and addressed. As kids grow up immersed in digital media, parents and other caregivers play a crucial role in guiding their digital media use and creating a supportive environment for meaningful technology interactions. Here are the Digital Wellness Lab’s top five strategies to help parents support their kids’ learning to set healthy boundaries and balance online and offline time. 1. Get involved: co-playing and co-viewing. If parents want a real view of how their kids spend their time online, they need to participate actively in their kids’ digital experiences. By engaging in digital media activities alongside kids, parents can help them make better choices about the content they consume and encourage meaningful discussions about themes, messages, and values. One effective strategy is co-viewing and co-playing with kids, which fosters bonding and shared enjoyment while also providing an opportunity for guidance and supervision. Co-playing can also help identify potential risks, such as inappropriate content or interactions, and allow parents to address them promptly and effectively. By sitting with children and picking up a video game controller or scrolling through online videos together, parents can find shared interests, encourage more open communication, and enable their child to be the expert. 2. Model good digital habits. It’s never too early to model healthy, balanced media and technology habits for children. When adults show kids responsible digital behavior, it sets a strong example for them to follow. Parents can help their kids find balance and purpose in their digital lives by being mindful of their own screen use, focusing on meaningful online activities, and being good digital citizens. Openly discussing their digital habits and the reasons behind them can further emphasize the importance of responsible use, ensuring kids understand the benefits of adopting such practices. Besides being digital role models, parents can highlight the importance of offline activities by participating with their kids. Whether it’s getting active, exploring creative pursuits, or simply enjoying quality time together without screens, these activities will show them the value of a balanced lifestyle that includes both digital and real-world experiences. 3. Use creative apps. Purposeful and meaningful digital media activities can help establish supportive habits and boundaries for kids. Parents can ensure their children’s exposure to digital media enriches their learning experience by encouraging them to explore creative apps and websites. Online creative outlets can inspire and nurture kids’ artistic and imaginative abilities. Platforms that support digital art, music, and writing enable young people to explore various forms of self-expression, cultivate their talents, and share their creations with a broader audience. Encouraging children to engage with these creative tools can foster emotional well-being and personal growth and help them develop essential skills like problem-solving, communication, and collaboration. 4. Create opportunities for more mindful screen engagement. Children develop at different rates, and all families have different values and routines. This can make one-size-fits-all rules about screen time and content difficult to determine. However, families can encourage their children to be mindful of what they are doing online and why. Working together to create a shared Family Media Plan is one way for families to encourage critical thinking about the types of media they want to consume and the devices they want to use. It is an excellent way to ensure that everyone in the household is on the same page regarding digital media use. Families can revise the plan at regular intervals as children become more media literate and families begin to understand more about the positive and negative effects of technology and media for themselves and their children. Once guidelines are agreed upon, it’s important for parents and caregivers to follow them, too. In our recent Pulse Survey, just 37% of adolescents reported their parents followed their own technology rules, which can impact how kids feel about the rules (and whether they choose to follow them). Families can also create screen-free zones and set screen-free times to promote balance. Designate areas like bedrooms and dining rooms as spaces where screens are off-limits and identify times, such as mealtime or homework sessions, when screens are to be turned off. This approach encourages family connection, fosters healthy sleep habits, and makes mealtime an opportunity for meaningful conversation. 5. Make time for breaks and offline fun. Encouraging regular breaks from screens and getting kids involved in offline activities is important for their social, emotional, and cognitive development. These breaks help them enjoy a balanced life with digital and real-world experiences. Encourage offline hobbies like reading, drawing, or playing musical instruments. Get kids moving with sports, dancing, or outdoor play—all great for their physical and mental health. Parents should also give kids plenty of opportunities to socialize face-to-face, building essential social skills and strong friendships. By balancing screen time with offline activities, parents can guide their kids to better digital media habits. Moving forward. As technology becomes more integrated into our daily lives, setting digital media boundaries and guidelines for kids is critical. As parents and educators, we are responsible for guiding children’s digital media use and creating a supportive environment that balances digital and IRL (“in real life”) experiences. By implementing strategies like these, parents can help kids develop healthy digital media habits and navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly. With intentional and purposeful effort, we can all help children have a well-rounded and enriching experience with digital media. We encourage parents to use these strategies to support their children’s healthy digital media habits. We invite parents and caregivers to explore our Family Digital Wellness Guide for more resources, tools, and support to help them navigate their kids’ digital media use.The importance of identity exploration in adolescence: How parents can support and keep their teens safe
Identity development is a lifelong journey, starting with that first "no" in infancy and moving on to the big life questions: "Who do I want to be? What do I want to do?" While this process never really ends, adolescence is when these questions first start to take shape. It’s a time of social, physical and internal changes, and suddenly, that separation from parent identity can feel much stronger. Letting our kids spread their wings is scary, especially when our instinct is to protect them and we know they’ll make mistakes. That’s why, each week, I’ll be sharing science-backed insights to help you navigate the adolescent years with your family. What does identity exploration have to do with digital safety? Think back to when you were in middle and high school. You probably had a few styles or music choices that now make you groan. Maybe you tried out being the “punk-rock” kid, the “preppy” kid, or the “I-don’t-like-anything-that’s-popular” kid. We often think about risks in terms of illegal activity or danger, but trying out different identities is another form of risk-taking or self-exploration. Risk is how teens explore and figure out where they belong in the world. Today, a lot of that exploration is happening online across social media, group chats, games and more. The difference between then and now is that my “studded belt” and Will Smith dance routine evidence is constrained to a few physical photos. But, every time our kids share, click, like, follow, or post something online, it shapes their digital footprint in ways that our offline identity exploration didn't. The algorithms that power digital spaces curate this data and deliver different experiences based on our actions. It’s why your teen’s TikTok might be full of makeup and dance tutorials, while yours might be parenting and home project content. As parents, it’s important for us to keep a pulse on what our kids are exposed to online, and the bounds of what they can share online, while also allowing them room to create new connections and explore their online identity, too. This means we need to have a level of digital literacy that allows us to support our kids’ exploration and growth, while still knowing when to put the guardrails up. Why is it important to allow our kids to spend time online? If you were anything like me growing up, you couldn't wait to get your driver's license. But that event isn't as attractive to all teens today. Instead, many adolescents are pushing for greater digital independence: more screen time, new apps, fewer restrictions. Even though the type of independence they’re seeking looks different than it did when we were kids, the motivation is still the same. Kids are going through a series of major shifts—mental, physical, dietary, social, hormonal. Their day-to-day life begins to look different once they hit middle school or early high school, and they need to figure out who they want to be. It's healthy and important to encourage this exploration in physical and digital spaces. Allowing our kids to do so while they're living at home means they can access support when things get tough and do so with some parental scaffolding. Despite what some sensational media buzz may tell you, the digital world is not going away. If we strip away all devices and screen time when they are still at home, our kids may not get to do this exploration until they’re older and away from the familial support network. How can parents limit risk while allowing exploration? Teens and internet use isn’t a black-and-white situation. Using the tools at your disposal, and approaching screen time conversations with care, can help you keep your kids safe without being overly restrictive. Stay educated. Even if you’re not much of a social media user or gamer yourself, get to know more about the apps your kids love (you can find resources that break down what you need to know about popular social media platforms right here in our community). Be a sounding board. Create a safe space for your kids to ask questions about what they see online or what their friends are talking about. Balance the good with the bad. If every conversation you have with your child that is about their phone is focused on what you don’t want them doing, it can create tension. Instead, try to have ongoing conversations about both the positives and negatives of their online lives—this can build a foundation of mutual trust and reinforce that you’re looking out for their best interests. Use tools to make the internet safer. Encryption, virtual private networks (VPNs), content alerts and screen time controls can help you guide your kids toward healthy, balanced device use. In next week’s column, we’ll talk more about how we can use communication to help kids as they grow and explore—including what to do when you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye.The family guide to cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can often take the form of spreading rumors, hurtful name-calling, sending unwanted explicit images, physical threats, harassment, doxing, and “revenge porn”. Bullying and cyberbullying behaviors are intentional, involve an imbalance of power, and happen repeatedly. They are not one-time events, social media posts that might offend others, or disagreements that result from misunderstandings. Common modes of cyberbullying include email, texting, instant messaging, social media, video games, and direct messaging through other apps. What is the difference between cyberbullying and bullying? Cyberbullying is a form of bullying. Its hallmarks include: Persistence. Other types of bullying typically happen at or around school, but cyberbullying could happen anytime and in any place, making the victim feel like they can’t escape it, even at home. Invisibility and anonymity. Because cyberbullying is often conducted online, cyberbullies may be able to remain anonymous. Victims may be hesitant to report anonymous bullying experiences with parents and other adults, making it difficult to address. Because bullies often don’t see the faces of their victims, they may not feel as much empathy and accountability as they would in person, enabling them to continue the behavior (known as the “disinhibition effect”). Permanence. Because cyberbullying takes place over digital devices, screenshots and sharing can ensure that whatever harmful material was shared or sent could live on forever. The victim and the bully may find it difficult to leave the bullying behind when reminders are prevalent. Lack of supervision. Traditional bullying happens in places that typically have adults to prevent or intervene in the bullying behaviors, but there is less adult supervision online where cyberbullying occurs. Research shows that “open and empathetic parent-child interaction and parental involvement” can play a protective role against cyberbullying. What is the difference between bullies, victims, and bystanders? Bullies: Those who engage in repeated harmful behaviors targeting those they see as vulnerable or less powerful. Victims: Those who are harmed by others (in this case, bullies or cyberbullies) Bystanders: Those who are not involved in the bullying but who see it happening. Research shows that many factors can influence whether someone will or will not step in when they see someone being cyberbullied, but having empathy and a school environment where they feel cyberbullying is taken seriously can make a difference for defending and reporting. Some bystanders might engage in negative behaviors, such as forwarding harmful content, taking and sharing screenshots, or adding comments to hurtful online threads. These behaviors spread the message to a wider audience, potentially increasing psychological harm to the victim. In this case, the bystander becomes a bully. How common is cyberbullying? Nearly 100% of teens report having access to a smartphone or home computer, and nearly half of teens report that they are online “almost constantly”. In the United States, about 16% of high school students report being cyberbullied in 2019; sadly, students identifying as LGBTQ reported a much higher rate of online bullying; almost 27% of students identifying as gay, lesbian, or bisexual reported cyberbullying. A survey from 2022 found that 46% of U.S teens reported ever experiencing cyberbullying behaviors which included being called offensive names or having rumors spread about them online. Because the bullying occurs on digital devices and accounts, it can be particularly harmful to the reputations of the bully and the victim and can be more persistent and permanent and harder to notice than more traditional in-person forms of bullying. What are the possible effects of cyberbullying? Traditional bullying and cyberbullying are often closely related: most victims who are cyberbullied also report being bullied offline. The two types of bullying can both have negative effects, the two combined can have a particularly negative impact on the victims. Cyberbullying can negatively affect the mental and physical health of victims and the bullies themselves. Cyberbullying has been connected with lowered self-esteem, suicidal ideation, loneliness, anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. Bullying may also have negative effects on the victim’s school success, like decreasing academic performance, engagement, and attendance. Cyberbullying hurts not only the victim, but also the bully. Bullies are more likely to engage in substance use and abuse and early sexual activity, have criminal records in adulthood, be abusive toward family and romantic partners, and drop out of school. What are the warning signs of cyberbullying? Children and especially teens may try to hide the bullying from their parents and other adult figures or not report the problem out of embarrassment, a fear that nothing will happen, concern about retaliation from the bully, or even from a fear of losing their internet access or device. Educators and parents can look for warning signs of cyberbullying in school and at home: Victims of cyberbullying may experience an increase in issues within their relationships, reporting feeling lonely, or getting upset more often over issues with friends and others at school. Young people experiencing cyberbullying may become withdrawn, seem down or depressed, or lose interest in people and activities they typically enjoy. They may show extreme emotional responses to what is happening on their device, or angrily put their device aside without explanation. They may try to hide the device or what’s on the screen from adults. Cyberbullied children may visit the school nurse more often, with complaints about emotional distress or physical ailments with an unknown cause. They may try to avoid school or start showing decreases in academic performance. They may become jumpy, nervous, or angry when they receive a notification of a new text message or social media post. Cyberbullying victims may switch their social media accounts frequently. How can I prevent cyberbullying? Keep an open line of communication with your child. When they get home from school, ask what happened that day that made them happy, proud, sad, and mad. If there was some online drama, offer to review it with them, not to be nosy, but to support and protect them. Tell them about similar experiences you had as a teen and how you dealt with them. Ask your child what they like to do online, and why. Teach your child to be an upstander, not a bystander. By standing up for those who are bullied in the physical or online world, they are making those worlds safer and kinder for themselves and for others. Include the reality of cyberbullying in your family’s shared media use agreement. A shared media use agreement outlines how everyone in the household is expected to behave with devices, games, and social media, including: How your child is expected to interact online with respect for themselves and others What consequences will be incurred when these expectations are not met. How your child can bring you questions, concerns, or fears that arise from their own or others’ experiences online. Reassure your child that you will not take away their phone or device if they report experiencing or witnessing cyberbullying. This will help them feel safe to tell you right away if they or someone they know is being victimized online. Follow or friend your child online so you can see what is happening on their social media feeds. Engage in social media use together. Co-view videos, game together, and ask to see their screens and share your own. Ask questions about what they are doing, what they like about it, and point out things you find interesting, confusing, or concerning. Help your child to set up privacy and security settings. While privacy and security settings won’t necessarily block all negative content, they can help to protect your child from negative behaviors online. Report bullying when you hear about it. Consider reporting cyberbullying to online service providers. You can also block the bully and access additional support through apps. If your child was doing the bullying, talk to them about it. Ask what was happening for them at the time, how it felt, and what they think they could do to make the situation better for the victim. “I noticed that you seem pretty angry at your phone lately. Can we talk about what’s going on?” What do I do if I suspect that my child is being cyberbullied? If you suspect that your child is being cyberbullied, It’s important to address your concerns with them in a way that helps them to speak openly. Ask your child about their experiences. “I saw a piece on the news yesterday about cyberbullying. Is that something you’ve experienced?” “Do you know anyone who has been bullied or attacked by haters online?” “I noticed that you seem pretty angry at your phone lately. Can we talk about what’s going on?” Reassure your child that you love and support them and that you want to help them to feel safe and secure at school and online. “I know it might make you uncomfortable to have me asking these questions, but I’m asking because I love you and I want to help you feel safe.” “Telling me about this was really brave. I want to make sure we find ways to help that feel right for you. What concerns do you have about how we address this?” “Is there an adult at school who you trust? Let’s figure out how to be sure you can talk to him when you need to, so you can feel safe at school.” Empower your child. “You have a right to be treated with decency and kindness online, just like in regular life.” “You haven’t done anything to deserve this treatment.” “There are things we can do to help this behavior stop. I want to work with you to decide on a solution together.” “This happens to a lot of people – more than half of kids your age report being cyberbullied.” Take actions to make your child safer. “I know it feels like a big step, but let’s go into your account and block the people who are hurting you so they can’t send you any more messages.” “I know how tempting it is to write back, but that will just make your bully feel more powerful. How about you text it to me instead? I promise you won’t get in trouble for the words you use – it’s important to be able to get those feelings out.” Engage external supports. “That social media company can help us to protect you from this online. Let’s go look at their support site.” “Even though it’s online, I need to let your school know this is happening. I’d like you to come with me to talk to the principal, so you can be a part of the conversation with her.” “I think that we need to talk to the police about this situation, because you or someone else could be really hurt by this behavior” You aren’t alone! There are resources available to help you in addressing cyberbullying, including: StopBullying.gov – Provides information from various government agencies on what bullying is, what cyberbullying is, who is at risk, and how you can prevent and respond to bullying. Preventing Bullying – A site managed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, offers facts and intervention strategies to address bullying and cyberbullying. Available en Espanol Know Bullying (app) – SAMHSA’s free phone app supports parents in holding regular conversations with their children and accessing key information about bullying and cyberbullying. Cyberbullying: What it is and how to stop it – UNICEF’s guide offers answers to many of the top questions kids have about cyberbullying, including links to key supports available Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter. Choose Kindness Project – Download the Educator and Coach toolkit on what you can do to prevent cyberbullying and how to work with families to keep kids safe at home. Learn what to do when cyberbullying happens and how to partner with families to respond. References Arnon, S., Brunstein Klomek, A., Visoki, E., Moore, T. M., Argabright, S. T., DiDomenico, G. E., Benton, T. D., & Barzilay, R. (2022). 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