Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.2Views0likes0CommentsFree Download: Internet Safety Maze⬇️
A fun, free activity in honor of National Puzzle Day: Guide Monica through the maze to collect online safety badges. You'll earn: Password Prodigy Badge Privacy Protector Badge Popup Popper Badge Kind Keyboard Badge Time Master Badge Parents, use the question and answer key on page two to prompt your child as they make their way through the maze. DOWNLOAD HERE⬇️33Views0likes0CommentsMy kid wants to be a YouTube content creator
My 12 year old wants to become a YouTube content creator on cooking. As parents, we want to encourage his passions, and we let him start a channel, but now he’s constantly “creating content”. What can I do to fix it while still supporting his passion? I don't want him to stop cooking, but I we can't let him be glued to his phone every other minute!Solved112Views1like1CommentHow online life shapes youth brain development before 25
The entry into adulthood is typically marked by turning 18, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the mind is fully mature. The prefrontal cortex of the brain—responsible for our cognitive control, stress response, and executive function—isn’t all grown up until age 25. This means that childhood and adolescence is a critical time for brain development. Its progress can be hindered, though, by a variety of environmental factors like nutrition, drugs, illness, toxins, and yes, online experiences. How life online influences brain development When we encounter various stimuli in our lives, from a cute baby’s smile to the sting of a bee, various receptors in our brain begin to learn when something is pleasurable vs. painful. Over time, we form strong neural pathways that encourage us to seek out more of what feels good versus what hurts us. However, these pleasure/pain reactions aren’t limited to things we can touch. Digital experiences can have the same type of impact on our brains. Each time our kids pick up their phones or open TikTok, they’re presented with bright colors, noisy notifications, and videos that are curated to their tastes—or intentionally designed to make them feel a specific emotion. I’ll do a deep dive into how this works in a future article, but at a top level, this screen time plays a significant role in building and altering neural pathways by delivering a sense of reward or pleasure. These pathways are responsible for things like attention, memory recall, and emotional regulation. It happens to adults, too. Have you ever caught yourself picking up your phone to check for notifications even when you know you didn’t hear a ping or feel a buzz? That’s your brain seeking a hit of dopamine, the chemical that is released when we experience something pleasurable. Does all screen time impact brain development? Of course, there are many good aspects of our kids having access to the internet, including educational resources, easy communication with loved ones, and exposure to other people and cultures. But extended exposure to blue light from screens (even if it’s from schoolwork!) can make it harder for kids to fall and stay asleep. This lack of sleep can negatively impact the health of kids’ brains and bodies—plus make it harder to pay attention in school. Can internet use hurt kids' brains in the long term? We’re still learning what the long-term effects of the internet may be on developing brains. Right now, we are seeing some negative impacts on older kids and teens' decision-making abilities, attention span, and ability to switch between different tasks (aka cognitive flexibility). And even positive online interactions—like talking with friends and family—may not engage our brains in as many healthy ways as face-to-face chats and activities do. Luckily, though, neural pathways aren’t set in stone. We can strengthen and weaken our neural pathways over time by changing our behavior. If you notice that your child is displaying signs of screen addiction or is struggling to balance family, school, and gaming with friends, it’s not too late to make healthy changes. Support your child's healthy brain development The answer isn’t to ban kids from using all digital devices—they’re essential for school and preparing to work and live in a connected world. It’s essential, though, that kids grow up knowing how to balance their online and offline lives. Doing so will help them create the right skill sets (and neural pathways!) to be a healthy adult. Here are a few tips to make that happen: Create a screen time balance and healthy digital media boundaries for the whole family. Be aware of what your kids are consuming online. Conversation is invaluable, but you can also rely on the assistance of apps that clue you in to possible in-game cyberbullying or excessive screen time. Encourage screen time use for educational content instead of social media and games. When screen time requires school-age kids to use their brain in a variety of ways, versus scrolling, it can support positive cognitive growth. Build offline hobbies and experiences that the whole family can enjoy together. Work on being a good digital role model—a little less screen time and scrolling on social media can help everyone’s brain health, no matter their age. My goal here—and in future brain health articles I’ll publish on DigitalParenthood.com—is to help you feel empowered about supporting your kids’ healthy development in an online world. If you’re worried and have questions, though, you can always visit our Ask an Expert section for more advice, or connect with other parents in our discussion forum.21Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything with Dr. Scott Kollins: TECHWISE Study
We’ve all heard the buzz about device use and social media impacting our kids' wellness and mental health. Despite the research and news reports, experts are still working to determine whether this digital world is helpful, harmful, or both. That’s why we’re launching a study to explore how kids' digital habits, including social media and online games, connect to their mental wellness, physical activity, and sleep. Hear more about this important research and how you can get involved by joining our event! When: December 18, 2024, 11am-12pm CST Where: RSVP to the remote live event here! To join the study, visit aura.com/techwise18Views0likes0CommentsThe Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.) There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️422Views0likes0CommentsHelp uncover how technology impacts youth well-being
As a child psychologist, I’ve spent decades working with families to address the challenges kids face today—especially when it comes to focus, emotional well-being, and healthy screen time habits. These issues have only intensified in our fast-paced, technology-driven world. That’s why I’m excited to invite you to join a groundbreaking study that explores how kids' digital habits are related to their mental health and well-being. This research, sponsored by Aura, will help us get answers to hard questions about how tech use is impacting kids' development and ultimately help us improve the tools we have to help kids and their parents navigate in the digital world. Participants in the study will be asked to use the Aura app and complete questionnaires and surveys. Use of the Aura app as part of the study is free and kids and their parents will be compensated for completing study measures. Take a look at the video below for more information. You can also get info about the study at get.aura.com/techwise By joining the study, you’ll not only contribute to advancing science but also receive practical strategies to help your child thrive emotionally and academically. Together, we can make a difference for families everywhere. Interested? Visit Aura’s website to learn more and sign up. Let’s shape a brighter, healthier future for our children—one step at a time.22Views0likes0Comments