New Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guideđź“š
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
Partner Event: Building Healthy Tech Habits (with Bend Health)
Hear from our very own Dr. Jessica Flannery as she speaks on a panel with partner Bend Health on building healthy tech habits. From setting toddler screen-time boundaries to protecting social media-scrolling teens, parenting in the always-on digital world isn’t easy! Technology connects us and can educate and entertain the entire family, but it can also start to interfere with school, work, relationships, and our mental health. That’s why the mental health experts at Bend are here to help your family find creative solutions and set realistic boundaries so that everyone in your household can learn to stay safe online, connect with one another offline, and feel your best. In this partner-hosted webinar, parents and caregivers will learn to: Create a personalized digital plan that everyone in the family can agree on. Better understand and set healthy screen limits. Talk to your child about online safety and cyberbullying. Use a digital detox to foster screen-free connection as a family. Register Here!Hear From Kids: The #1 Safety Issue Overlooked By Parents🎥
We assembled a group of teen and young adult experts to dive deeper into the topics that they feel parents need to prioritize discussing with their kids, because who better to hear it from, than kids themselves? Here are 5 key topics that young adults feel that parents often forget to prepare their kids for: You will stumble upon bad, or even untrue news There are a breadth of news platforms on social media, often with conflicting information. Spend time discussing which ones should your children pay attention to, and which ones they should disregard. There’s going to be an negative information According to this video by the AAP, “Social media can expose you to content that is violent, dangerous, or inaccurate.” Navigate how your child should be using social media, what types of content are appropriate, and remember that not all new information will have a negative impact on them. They may receive unwanted direct messages from strangers Make sure your child is aware of online predators and scammers so that they can identify and block strangers who message them. Social media can encourage a negative self image According to this video by the AAP, “As humans, it’s normal that we compare ourselves to others, but in this online environment, there’s so many more opportunities to do that.” Children and teens who are just coming into their self-esteem may be more vulnerable and prolonged exposure to unattainable body standards can manifest into poor eating habits. No matter how many restrictions you set, your child could still come across dangerous content online Maintain open conversations about online safety with your child so that they are comfortable coming to you and asking questions. Exploring the internet with your child will help you navigate what information they’re ready to learn and what information you’re ready to teach.
Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.
App safety: 7 talks to have with kids and teens
1. What age ratings mean. Talk to your child about what the different age ratings on apps mean. While the Apple App Store uses actual ages, the Google Play Store uses the "E," "T," and "MA" style labels that are typically found on video games. Let your child know what age rating you're open to (potentially) approving. This isn't as cut and dry as following the age brackets associated with each label. What you're comfortable with depends on your child's age, maturity level, and digital literacy. But communicating a limit to your kids can help them feel more confident when searching for apps—and reduce the number of download requests you have to decline. ‍ 2. How apps can expose private data. It's never too early to start talking about data privacy smarts with your kids. For small children, you may want to frame this conversation using real-world examples they're familiar with—such as how eavesdropping or spying isn't something we should do. You can show older kids where to find information about data privacy on an app's download page. Walk through what notifications they may see when an app requests data, and talk about the difference between a request that makes sense (i.e. Zoom requiring camera access) and one that doesn't (a puzzle app asking for 24/7 location data). 3. Ways to stay safe on social media. While it's understandable that children of all ages want access to social media to chat with their friends, these apps can make it feel harder than ever to keep kids safe online. Talking to your kids about the potential dangers of social media—not to scare them, but to inform them—as well as going over core internet safety principles can help. You may even want to implement some ground rules to start, such as: No tagging photos or videos with their location No posting pictures of their face—or those of their friends—without permission Only friending and following people they know in real life Telling a trusted adult if they ever receive a message that makes them feel uncomfortable Never sharing photos of themselves with or talking to strangers through private messages Some parents also decide to friend and follow their children's social media accounts. Doing so may give you some peace of mind about how they're using the platform, without the need to access and review your kids' social media accounts yourself. 4. When a message might be a scam. There are some scams that trip up even the most eagle-eyed business professionals, so it's no wonder that people under the age of 20 lost over $101 million to online scams in 2021 alone. These scams can come through emails, text messages, and direct messages on various apps. While each scam can look different, talking to your kids about the warning signs (and letting them know that you're always available to take a second look) can help them be on their guard. 5. How to spot sneaky micro-transactions. Not all app-related financial losses happen as the result of a scam, though. Many free-to-download game apps contain optional micro-transactions. A micro-transaction is a cost associated with playing a game—even if the game app itself was free to download. One example of this is a match-style puzzle game that allows you a limited number of turns per day. Once you use up those turns, the app may present you with an offer to spend a dollar or two to purchase more turns. It isn't always clear to kids that these purchase offers cost real-world money. If your kids are regularly clicking 'buy' on in-game pop-up ads suggesting they buy more turns, spins, coins, gems, or other bonuses, your bank account will take the hit. Some parents find it easiest to restrict all in-app purchases for their young children—both Apple and Android devices offer this option. For older kids, though, allowing (and discussing) some in-app purchases can be part of learning sensible spending, digital independence and healthy money management. ‍ 6. Why you’re using parental controls. You may want to explain to your kids how and why you’re using parental controls. Navigating app safety for your kids can be tough, but sitting down and having the talk together can make all the difference when using parental controls. This can help them feel more included —and make it clear that you only have their best interests in mind. 7. How to expand their privileges. If your answer to an app or game request has to be "no," you may be able to soften the blow by talking to your kids about ways they can expand their privileges in the future. Sometimes, changing that "no" to a "yes" may be a matter of getting older—which is where explaining age ratings and limits can come in handy! But if your "no" is driven by other factors, such as concern that your kids are already spending too much time online, this can be a good opportunity to talk about responsibility, prioritization, and more. There's no right or wrong way to structure this conversation—you know your child best—but it never hurts to take a chance to communicate and keep the entire family invested in staying safe online.
