Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.2Views0likes0CommentsHow to prepare your child for their first device
Rest assured that you’re not alone in grappling with these questions. Whether it be a tablet, a computer, a smartwatch, or a cell phone, we’re here to help you prepare your child for their first device so that they can stay safe, while feeling connected and supported. Tips for preparing your child for their first device So you’ve made the decision to give your child their first device, but now what? We’ve put together our top tips for establishing guidelines, expectations, and boundaries. Establish clear guidelines as a family. Before giving your child a new device, sit down together and talk through expectations and age-appropriate limits. You can discuss the following questions: What will the device be used for? What level of parental oversight will be enforced? What hours of the day can the device be used? What are the time limits for screen usage? Where are your “no-screen zones” within the house? Are there boundaries around apps or content that they can access? You can explain to your child that your job is to keep them safe and that you’ll be fully involved in setting healthy tech limits. Be sure that everyone has a chance to participate in the conversation, allowing your child to share their thoughts. This will help them to feel valued and empowered to stick to the agreed-upon boundaries. You can even create a formal contract that outlines what you’ve discussed. Set up parental controls. Depending on the device you choose and your child’s age and maturity level, consider setting parental limits to keep them safe online. You can create content limits, install monitoring tools, set screen time limits, and use kid locks to ensure they aren’t accessing inappropriate content or spending too much time on their devices. Remember that these settings aren’t completely fool-proof, so you’ll need to stay involved in their tech usage. Teach online safety. Let your child or teen know that they should never post personal information, such as their birthday, address, social security number, driver’s license, passport, or other documents online. Teach them to be wary of downloading files or making purchases online without parental consent. Be sure to educate them about online scams so that they stay alert to “tricky people” that may prey on children or teens. Make it clear that they must NEVER meet up with someone they encounter online. Above all else, encourage them to come to you if they ever find themselves in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation. Talk to your child about cyberbullying. Let your child know that they should come to you immediately if anyone ever makes them feel bad about themselves online. Even if bullying isn’t an issue in your house right now, it's important to discuss it so they will be prepared if it does happen. Take notice if your child experiences changes in mood or behavior after spending time on their device, and consult a mental health professional if you need support in navigating cyberbullying. Prioritize screen-free family time. Make a list of things you can do offline as a family. This could be anything from taking a hike together to having a family game night. What about gardening or swimming? When was the last time you had a fun adventure together? Get everyone involved in the planning and prioritize your time to connect. Protect evening routines. Encourage everyone in your family to end the day with healthier habits. Consider making the bedroom a “no-screen zone” so that it remains a space to rest and recharge. Replace the time you’d be scrolling with a relaxing activity, like journaling, taking a bath, or reading a book. Adding calming habits into your routine can boost your mood, lower stress, and help you get a better night’s sleep. Model healthy behaviors. We know this one can be tough, but remember that your child is always watching and learning from you. Try to put down your device while communicating with family members and during times of connection, like shared meals. Avoid texting while multi-tasking when possible, and let your child see you enjoying screen-free activities and hobbies. Encourage responsible time management. Help your child prioritize what needs to be done (like homework, chores, or shared family time) before spending time on their device so that they can learn to best manage their time. This sends the message that you’re not going to be dismissive or restrictive of their behavior, but rather flexible and encouraging of them using tech with intention. Check in often about tech usage. Make sure that this is an ongoing conversation, leaving the door open for your child to always come to you if they are struggling. Let them know that your job is to keep them safe online, so you will be actively involved when it comes to their digital life. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if your child isn’t feeling it, let them know that they can always come to you at another time. Try saying something like, “Whenever you want to talk, I’m here to listen and support you.” Remember that adjusting to a new device can take time, so make space for those messier moments and give yourself some grace as you navigate this part of parenting. If you could use extra support, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. A coach or therapist can help your child establish healthy tech habits so that they can feel their best for a lifetime.12Views0likes0CommentsAsk Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.49Views0likes0CommentsThe Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer, DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.) There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️422Views0likes0Comments