New Resource: Tech/Life Balance Family Report & Guideđź“š
Our latest "Tech/Life Balance" resources are now available to the DigitalParenthood community! The first installment in our series is focused on social-emotional health and gives parents the tools to foster stronger communication and resilience in their kids. We believe that meaningful connection is the best defense against today’s digital challenges. These resources are grounded in real stories from California families and leading experts and offer practical strategies that families can implement right away. To celebrate, Jennifer Heifferon (Program Director of Child Well-being) sat down with DigitalParenthoods Dr. Scott Kollins and talked about all of the ways that the resources can help parents. Download the resources below! ⬇️
The Teen Advisory Panel: Shaping Aura's Balance Tools for Teens, by Teens
At Aura, we believe the best way to create tools for managing digital well-being is to listen to those most affected by technology—teens. That’s why we created our Teen Advisory Panel: to ensure our balance tools are not only science-backed but also aligned with the needs and concerns of the teens who will use them. Designed to help families foster healthier digital habits, these tools focus on areas like screen time, nighttime activity, and social interactions. By consulting a diverse group of teens across the U.S., we created features that empower both parents and teens to manage digital behaviors in a supportive, privacy-respecting way. These tools are shaped by real teen input, not just expert research, to ensure they are relevant and practical—helping families find the right balance between tech use and well-being. Q: Why did you decide to create a Teen Advisory Panel? Kids are the best experts when it comes to understanding their own experiences, especially with technology. It's easy for adults to assume we know what's best, but we can't truly understand their digital world unless we listen to them directly. The Teen Advisory Panel is more than feedback—it’s a partnership. We wanted teens to help shape a product that balances privacy, independence, and well-being, ensuring the tools we’re developing are something they actually want and need. Q: How did you engage with the teens, and how did you collect their feedback? We recruited teens from across the U.S., ensuring a mix of geographic, ethnic, and cultural diversity. By hearing from a diverse group of teens, we aimed to create tools that not only provide insights for parents but also empower teens to take control of their tech habits. The panel engaged through live sessions and surveys, offering real-time feedback on features like screen time tracking, nighttime activity monitoring, and social pattern analysis. We also used these sessions to identify barriers, like privacy concerns, and learn how we can address them in the product. Q: What did you learn from their feedback, especially around potential barriers? Transparency was key. Many teens were concerned about how much information their parents would see. They wanted privacy but also recognized the importance of parents having insights to help guide healthier habits. After seeing prototypes, however, the teens felt more comfortable, as they understood how the tools would be used to support their well-being rather than invade their privacy. Q: Will there be a focus on improving the online balance experience? Yes! The goal of these tools is to help families create a balanced digital lifestyle. Teens told us balance isn’t just about limiting screen time; it’s about understanding their routines and helping parents see shifts in behavior, such as how late-night gaming affects sleep. Our tools will provide real-time feedback, customized to each family’s needs. It’s not about policing but about fostering healthier tech habits in a way that works for everyone. Q: How will the Teen Advisory Panel continue to influence product development in the future? The Teen Advisory Panel isn’t just a one-time feedback session—it’s an ongoing partnership. We’ll continue to engage with teens to ensure that our tools evolve alongside their changing needs. Their insights will keep guiding updates and new features, ensuring that Aura’s digital balance tools remain relevant and effective in helping families navigate the complexities of digital life. Q: How can parents and teens learn more about Aura's digital balance tools? If you're a parent wanting to understand your child’s digital habits—or a teen seeking ways to manage screen time, sleep, and social interactions—Aura’s balance tools are designed for you. We’ve worked closely with teens like those in our Teen Advisory Panel to create features that are insightful and respect privacy. To learn more, click here. Together, we can create a balanced digital lifestyle that supports both parents and teens in navigating the challenges of today’s connected world.Raising a Connected Generation: Dr. Becky on Parenting in the Digital Age 🎥
A throwback to our DigitalParenthood Summit back in June! NYT Best-Selling Author and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy sat down with award-winning, Emmy-nominated journalist Poppy Harlow at our NYC Digital Parenthood Summit to offer parental guidance in the digital era, emphasizing that keeping kids safe is more important than keeping kids happy. The same way they can't have dessert until they finish their broccoli, children's use of technology must also be moderated. Here are 5 key ways parents can set strong boundaries: First, understand the difference between your child’s wants and needs. What purpose will technology serve them? Does your child need the new social media app they’re asking for, or do they simply just want it? Rather than brushing off requests, have conversations with your kids about the purpose they believe this new app will serve in their life. There may be a valid reason for downloading it. Second, form a group of parents to have continuous conversations over the years. Parents will avoid making split-second decisions and feel sturdier when their children go to them. Your kid will tell you that they are the only kid to not have a certain device, bedtime, or app. Years before this, when your kids are too young to negotiate, Dr. Becky recommends getting a group of parents together to discuss and plan how you all will approach these boundaries. Third, encourage kids to “gaze-in” on themselves, rather than seeking validation on social media. The way we parent our kids sets them up for how they approach the world. Naturally, people tend to focus on what everyone else is doing before considering our own values, interests, and feelings. By providing infinite access and constant exposure to other peoples’ lives, social media only adds to this pressure. It’s important that children build their confidence inside-out, rather than waiting to be told if they’re good enough. Fourth, keep the parent-child relationship separate from the technology-child relationship. Even as adults, it is difficult for us to put our phones down because it’s designed to make us unable to do that, so how can we hold our kids to such high expectations? The difference is that kids don’t make decisions for themselves, we do. So instead of setting ourselves up for frustration and children up for a power struggle or punishment, we must set a boundary that allows us to embody parental authority and tolerate our kids being upset. And lastly, give yourself permission to change course. If you were on a plane, you would want your pilot to give themselves permission to make an emergency landing if any flight information changed. Many parents disempower themselves by assuming what’s done is done. But good leaders, upon getting new information, change their plans to realign with the outcomes that they care about. Watch Dr. Becky’s full panel here:
Helping Your Teen Cope with Online FOMO
Do you remember the feeling of going to school and hearing about how much fun your friends had at a social gathering that you weren’t invited to? It really stung, right?! Now, imagine how much more upsetting it would have been if you had access to endless amounts of photos online showing everyone having fun without you. Thanks to social media, smartphones, and a 24/7, always-on digital world, today’s teens are at risk of being consistently exposed to the heavily filtered highlight reels of their peers' lives. So, while social media can be a great place for teens to connect and express themselves, it can also create views about other people’s lives that aren’t based in reality. To break through the feelings of missing out or painful comparisons, it can be helpful to talk to your teen and give them tools so that they can better cope with their online experiences. What is FOMO? FOMO is an acronym that stands for “fear of missing out,” and it’s an incredibly common and normal experience. FOMO usually happens when someone realizes they weren’t invited to a social event. People who experience FOMO often feel as though they aren’t wanted, are less socially desirable, or are inferior to their peers. It can cause an increase in negative thinking, impact self-confidence, and increase social anxiety or feelings of isolation. Social media is one of the leading contributors to FOMO and can begin to take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Ways to help your teen through FOMO Experiencing FOMO can be lonely and confusing. It’s important to open up the conversation with your teen so that they know you are there to support them anytime difficult feelings come up. Here are some tips for talking about FOMO: Actively listen. You’ve likely felt left out before, so take a moment to connect with that feeling so that you can approach your teen’s situation with empathy and understanding. Try to put away distractions, like phones, so that you can be fully present for the conversation. Repeat back what your teen has said so that they know they’re being heard, and consider sharing a time when you’ve had a similar experience. Take them seriously. We can often dismiss teens as being “dramatic,” but remember that social dynamics are so important to teens. Try to hear what is going on from their perspective without attempting to fix it. Help to reframe unhelpful thoughts. We all have a voice inside that can say not-so-helpful things sometimes. Encourage your teen to notice how they’re speaking to themselves while scrolling on social media. If that voice says something like, “You’d never be invited to a party like that” or “I don’t have any friends,” ask them to consider how they could replace the unhelpful thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. One example would be, “I may not have been invited to this party, but I have lots of friends who like spending time with me. Maybe I’m feeling lonely, and I should call one of them to hang out.” Teach content curation. Talk to your teen about the ways in which the content they consume can affect the way they feel. Encourage them to unfollow or mute social media accounts that make them feel bad about themselves and to continue to be hyper-aware of the impact of the information and images they take in. Could they follow more accounts that focus on something they love, like art, nature, or cooking? Encourage offline hobbies and extracurricular activities. Help your child seek out environments and social settings where they feel safe and accepted. Could they join a community theater, play sports with friends in the park, or take a music class? Schedule tech breaks. Are there a few windows of time throughout the week that you can ask everyone in the family to unplug? Maybe you designate meal time as a screen-free zone or take a nature walk on a weekend morning? Can you all agree to keep phones out of your bedroom at night and set up a charging station in the kitchen? It’s not going to look perfect, so give yourselves some grace and do your best! Discuss support systems. Reassure your teen that there are tons of people out there who have experienced FOMO and talk about who they can turn to when they’re feeling down. Who are the trusted adults in their lives that they can turn to and what friends can they reach out to for support? Have regular check-ins. FOMO is something that your teen will likely experience time and time again. Be sure to keep the conversation going, letting them know that you understand and you’re always there to listen. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if they’re not feeling it, tell them they can always come to you at another time. By opening up the conversation at home and providing realistic tools and ongoing support, you’re showing your teen that they are not alone and that their well-being matters to you. If your teen is struggling to cope with FOMO or other difficult emotions, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support.
Prioritizing your family’s mental health in the new year
As you look ahead, ask yourself what are some things that you and your family can do to feel your best for 2025? The new year is a perfect time to prioritize mental health. From building healthier habits to creating a circle of support, there are small steps you can take now that will add up to big changes throughout the year. To help you get started, we’ve put together realistic ways to help prioritize your family’s mental health. How to make mental health a priority Set realistic expectations. Try not to put pressure on yourself to do it all perfectly. It’s simply not realistic to expect yourself to go to the gym every day, be the most patient parent 100% of the time, or to have a spotless home 24/7. Don’t try to change everything overnight. Start with small, achievable goals and celebrate your small wins. Find moments of movement. Can you tap into ways to make exercise a little more fun for the whole family? What types of movement do you most enjoy? Can you create a playlist and have a dance party at home? Want to gather friends or family and head to the ice skating rink or the bowling alley? Can you bundle up and take a nature hike or prepare your garden for the season ahead? If you make movement more enjoyable, you’re likely to stick with it and feel better both physically and mentally. Get outside when you can. The colder temperatures can make getting outside much more difficult but, if you can, try to get some fresh air first thing in the morning. This one habit can make a big difference in how you feel and can be especially beneficial for those who are impacted by the changing seasons. Prioritize sleep. Getting enough sleep is essential to our physical and mental health. It allows our bodies and minds to recharge, supports our immune system, helps with emotional regulation, and boosts cognitive functionality. To get your best night’s rest, try keeping a regular schedule, put away screens at least two hours before bed, make your room a dark, cool space, and try calming activities before sleep, like taking a bath, journaling, or meditating. Take tech breaks. We know that this one isn’t easy, but try setting realistic limits on how much time you spend on your phone, in front of your computer, or streaming TV shows. Our devices are designed to keep us hooked, so consider setting app time limits (especially for those never-ending social media scroll sessions) to help you out. Using technology isn’t a bad thing, but try to prioritize offline activities and connections with those around you. Create a calming space. Is there a spot in your home where you can go to relax? Whether it’s a cozy reading chair, your bed, or a kitchen nook, identify a space where you can unwind. Try to clear out any clutter and add special touches. These can include essential oils for a little aromatherapy, relaxing music, a plant, plush pillows, art that makes you happy, books you enjoy, or photos of those you love. You can use this space to have mindful moments with breathing exercises, journaling, or whatever feels good for you. Learn to say no. From taking on extra work projects to volunteering at your child’s school, it can be tempting to try and do it all. But if your to-do list is never-ending, try delegating tasks to other family members or co-workers and declining requests to take on more. It can be difficult to say no sometimes, but it’s important to take care of yourself and prioritize accomplishing what matters most to you. Ask for support. If you or someone in your family could use more support, consider reaching out to a therapist or a coach. A mental health professional can help you to better understand and process complex emotions, while giving you tools to help you feel your best. The mental health of you and those around you matters so much. The new year offers an opportunity for a fresh start in which you prioritize your well-being. Remember to ask for support from those around you and offer yourself some grace for it all to look perfectly imperfect.How online life shapes youth brain development before 25
The entry into adulthood is typically marked by turning 18, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the mind is fully mature. The prefrontal cortex of the brain—responsible for our cognitive control, stress response, and executive function—isn’t all grown up until age 25. This means that childhood and adolescence is a critical time for brain development. Its progress can be hindered, though, by a variety of environmental factors like nutrition, drugs, illness, toxins, and yes, online experiences. How life online influences brain development When we encounter various stimuli in our lives, from a cute baby’s smile to the sting of a bee, various receptors in our brain begin to learn when something is pleasurable vs. painful. Over time, we form strong neural pathways that encourage us to seek out more of what feels good versus what hurts us. However, these pleasure/pain reactions aren’t limited to things we can touch. Digital experiences can have the same type of impact on our brains. Each time our kids pick up their phones or open TikTok, they’re presented with bright colors, noisy notifications, and videos that are curated to their tastes—or intentionally designed to make them feel a specific emotion. I’ll do a deep dive into how this works in a future article, but at a top level, this screen time plays a significant role in building and altering neural pathways by delivering a sense of reward or pleasure. These pathways are responsible for things like attention, memory recall, and emotional regulation. It happens to adults, too. Have you ever caught yourself picking up your phone to check for notifications even when you know you didn’t hear a ping or feel a buzz? That’s your brain seeking a hit of dopamine, the chemical that is released when we experience something pleasurable. Does all screen time impact brain development? Of course, there are many good aspects of our kids having access to the internet, including educational resources, easy communication with loved ones, and exposure to other people and cultures. But extended exposure to blue light from screens (even if it’s from schoolwork!) can make it harder for kids to fall and stay asleep. This lack of sleep can negatively impact the health of kids’ brains and bodies—plus make it harder to pay attention in school. Can internet use hurt kids' brains in the long term? We’re still learning what the long-term effects of the internet may be on developing brains. Right now, we are seeing some negative impacts on older kids and teens' decision-making abilities, attention span, and ability to switch between different tasks (aka cognitive flexibility). And even positive online interactions—like talking with friends and family—may not engage our brains in as many healthy ways as face-to-face chats and activities do. Luckily, though, neural pathways aren’t set in stone. We can strengthen and weaken our neural pathways over time by changing our behavior. If you notice that your child is displaying signs of screen addiction or is struggling to balance family, school, and gaming with friends, it’s not too late to make healthy changes. Support your child's healthy brain development The answer isn’t to ban kids from using all digital devices—they’re essential for school and preparing to work and live in a connected world. It’s essential, though, that kids grow up knowing how to balance their online and offline lives. Doing so will help them create the right skill sets (and neural pathways!) to be a healthy adult. Here are a few tips to make that happen: Create a screen time balance and healthy digital media boundaries for the whole family. Be aware of what your kids are consuming online. Conversation is invaluable, but you can also rely on the assistance of apps that clue you in to possible in-game cyberbullying or excessive screen time. Encourage screen time use for educational content instead of social media and games. When screen time requires school-age kids to use their brain in a variety of ways, versus scrolling, it can support positive cognitive growth. Build offline hobbies and experiences that the whole family can enjoy together. Work on being a good digital role model—a little less screen time and scrolling on social media can help everyone’s brain health, no matter their age. My goal here—and in future brain health articles I’ll publish on DigitalParenthood.com—is to help you feel empowered about supporting your kids’ healthy development in an online world. If you’re worried and have questions, though, you can always visit our Ask an Expert section for more advice, or connect with other parents in our discussion forum.
