How to prepare your child for their first device
Rest assured that you’re not alone in grappling with these questions. Whether it be a tablet, a computer, a smartwatch, or a cell phone, we’re here to help you prepare your child for their first device so that they can stay safe, while feeling connected and supported. Tips for preparing your child for their first device So you’ve made the decision to give your child their first device, but now what? We’ve put together our top tips for establishing guidelines, expectations, and boundaries. Establish clear guidelines as a family. Before giving your child a new device, sit down together and talk through expectations and age-appropriate limits. You can discuss the following questions: What will the device be used for? What level of parental oversight will be enforced? What hours of the day can the device be used? What are the time limits for screen usage? Where are your “no-screen zones” within the house? Are there boundaries around apps or content that they can access? You can explain to your child that your job is to keep them safe and that you’ll be fully involved in setting healthy tech limits. Be sure that everyone has a chance to participate in the conversation, allowing your child to share their thoughts. This will help them to feel valued and empowered to stick to the agreed-upon boundaries. You can even create a formal contract that outlines what you’ve discussed. Set up parental controls. Depending on the device you choose and your child’s age and maturity level, consider setting parental limits to keep them safe online. You can create content limits, install monitoring tools, set screen time limits, and use kid locks to ensure they aren’t accessing inappropriate content or spending too much time on their devices. Remember that these settings aren’t completely fool-proof, so you’ll need to stay involved in their tech usage. Teach online safety. Let your child or teen know that they should never post personal information, such as their birthday, address, social security number, driver’s license, passport, or other documents online. Teach them to be wary of downloading files or making purchases online without parental consent. Be sure to educate them about online scams so that they stay alert to “tricky people” that may prey on children or teens. Make it clear that they must NEVER meet up with someone they encounter online. Above all else, encourage them to come to you if they ever find themselves in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation. Talk to your child about cyberbullying. Let your child know that they should come to you immediately if anyone ever makes them feel bad about themselves online. Even if bullying isn’t an issue in your house right now, it's important to discuss it so they will be prepared if it does happen. Take notice if your child experiences changes in mood or behavior after spending time on their device, and consult a mental health professional if you need support in navigating cyberbullying. Prioritize screen-free family time. Make a list of things you can do offline as a family. This could be anything from taking a hike together to having a family game night. What about gardening or swimming? When was the last time you had a fun adventure together? Get everyone involved in the planning and prioritize your time to connect. Protect evening routines. Encourage everyone in your family to end the day with healthier habits. Consider making the bedroom a “no-screen zone” so that it remains a space to rest and recharge. Replace the time you’d be scrolling with a relaxing activity, like journaling, taking a bath, or reading a book. Adding calming habits into your routine can boost your mood, lower stress, and help you get a better night’s sleep. Model healthy behaviors. We know this one can be tough, but remember that your child is always watching and learning from you. Try to put down your device while communicating with family members and during times of connection, like shared meals. Avoid texting while multi-tasking when possible, and let your child see you enjoying screen-free activities and hobbies. Encourage responsible time management. Help your child prioritize what needs to be done (like homework, chores, or shared family time) before spending time on their device so that they can learn to best manage their time. This sends the message that you’re not going to be dismissive or restrictive of their behavior, but rather flexible and encouraging of them using tech with intention. Check in often about tech usage. Make sure that this is an ongoing conversation, leaving the door open for your child to always come to you if they are struggling. Let them know that your job is to keep them safe online, so you will be actively involved when it comes to their digital life. It’s not always the right time to talk, so if your child isn’t feeling it, let them know that they can always come to you at another time. Try saying something like, “Whenever you want to talk, I’m here to listen and support you.” Remember that adjusting to a new device can take time, so make space for those messier moments and give yourself some grace as you navigate this part of parenting. If you could use extra support, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. A coach or therapist can help your child establish healthy tech habits so that they can feel their best for a lifetime.Ask Me Anything: TECHWISE study recording
Thank you for joining us and asking such great questions about TECHWISE. I’ve been conducting clinical research for more than 30 years and I am as excited as I have ever been to launch this important study. So much of the research into the effects of tech/social media use on kids’ mental health is limited by access to ground truth data and we are seeking to fill this important gap. We are seeking youth between 8-17 years of age who have a smartphone or tablet to enroll with their parents for a 3 month study where we will assess a range of mental well-being and mental health outcomes while measuring device use through the Aura app. Help us spread the word about this study! We anticipate sharing our data with researchers interested in tackling a wide range of questions we will be able to address. Check out get.aura.com/techwise for more info. Click here to watch the recording.The Ultimate Digital Parenthood Gift Guide
A note from Aura's Chief Medical Officer,DrScott As a parent, I love my kids more than anything. And I know you do, too. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to be a parent sometimes! I think that's a pretty universal feeling around the world and even through time. If I had a way to transport myself back to the middle ages, I bet I'd find some parents to commiserate with (even though our parenting challenges would certainly be different!) This decade might be the hardest time ever to be a parent, though. According to an advisory issued by the Surgeon General , a whopping 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming (compared to 26% among other adults.)There's so much to worry about: online safety, offline safety, health, balancing remote school and remote work…the list goes on. And it gets even more difficult during the holidays! It feels like kids are talking about new tech every five minutes these days—and revising their gift lists just as fast. Heck, there's even an AI Santa Claus that can have a conversation with your kids. (Is that even safe? We're still trying to decide!) So we, in collaboration with several of our DigitalParenthood experts, wanted to do whatever we could to make your holiday season easier. As a parent, you need community, support, and resources to help you create safe online and offline environments for your kids. This gift guide serves as the latter—and our community of supportive parents and experts is always open to you at DigitalParenthood.com. Wishing you a happy, peaceful holiday season. Download your copy below ⬇️Beyond the Screen: Understanding the Emotional Toll of Your Child’s Online World
If you ever watch your kids starting another game of Fortnite or doing TikTok dances and feel a sense of worry in your gut, you aren’t alone. Parental concern for the effects of new technology on their kids isn’t new. Our grandparents fretted about our parents ruining their eyes in front of the TV. Today, parents like you and I find ourselves worrying about whether our kids’ tech use is negatively affecting their mental and emotional well-being. How does technology impact kids’ mental health? While there isn't a definitive causal link between ongoing or extended technology use having a negative effect on kids’ mental health, there are lots of studies that showcase reasons to be concerned about possible negative effects. Let me preface the conversation with this: simply spending time on Instagram or playing a video game with friends isn’t going to harm your kids’ mental well-being immediately. But, heavy, continued tech and internet use might have detrimental effects. First off, screen time in itself can impact kids' sleep and mental focus—even if a portion of that time is for school. Researchers recently surveyed a group of teenagers who reported using screens for at least six hours a day. More than half of the teens reported poor sleep, and many struggled with daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and trouble concentrating. This doesn't surprise me. It's known that blue light emitted by digital screens can impact how well we sleep, especially if we use those devices close to bedtime. And the content that our kids consume online can also be keeping them up at night or creating distractions during the day. The Cyberbullying Research Institute reports that 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying at some point. This can range from hurtful comments on social media to exclusion from group chats and being publicly embarrassed online. And even if your kids aren't being actively cyberbullied, they may still be feeling an emotional toll from the content they see in their online worlds. In 2023, the University of Utah reported that young adults who use social media are three times more likely to experience depression than those who don’t log on. The suicide rate has increased among 15- to 24-year-olds, too. We don't yet know what the long-term impacts of all-day tech use and cyberbullying will be, just as we're still figuring out what the lasting effects of COVID-19 may be. The landscape of our online and offline worlds has changed dramatically since 2020, and internet use has increased considerably—by as much as 100% right after the pandemic started. And yes, there are some benefits to the way we use tech today, including creating new ways for our kids to explore their identities and independence. But as parents, it's important that we keep an eye out for signals that our child is experiencing stress, online ostracization, or simply not sleeping well—whether the cause is blue light exposure or cyberbullying. Assessing the impact of technology on your child The mental and emotional impact that tech has on your own child can vary wildly, but these are all signals that something may be amiss: Loss of interest in offline activities Increased irritability Withdrawal from family and friends when offline Unexpected mood swings Trouble sleeping Lethargy and fatigue during the day New difficulty focusing on one task at a time Again, every child is different—there may be other, non tech-related reasons for your kids' trouble focusing or poor sleep. And it's normal for teens to go through mood and energy swings as they age. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is look for changes in your child's baseline. Nobody knows your kids better than you do. If you notice any marked change in your child's mood, behavior, or interests, it's a signal for you to dig deeper. What to do if technology is negatively affecting your child If you suspect that recent changes in your child's behavior are the result of their tech use, it may be time to make some changes. Talking to your kids about their online experiences is the best way to figure out what's going on, but I know many parents that find it tricky to bring up the topic in a way that encourages their kids to open up. When this comes up in my practice, I recommend that parents: Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health for a library of conversation starters. Whether your kids are in elementary school or thinking about college, there are simple ways to start discussing what they're experiencing online and how it's making them feel. Dig into guides on social media and cyberbullying to better understand if your child is spending too much time online or being targeted in harmful ways. Learn about the parental controls available on your kids’ devices and favorite social media apps. Knowing how to block inappropriate content and prevent cyberbullying can help everyone feel better. Get help from other parents and professionals (including myself!) on the DigitalParenthood.com discussion forum and Ask an Expert page. And finally, remember that autonomy is an important part of the teenage years. As your kids age, it’s important to keep the focus on education and creating healthy habits together—not complete control over their online activities. By starting regular conversations about tech use before there's a problem, you can create a safe space for your kids to talk about what might be inspiring, scaring, or stressing them out online. You don’t have to navigate figuring out this balance all by yourself, either. I’ll be posting regularly on DigitalParenthood.com to talk about what’s on my mind (and probably yours, too) and discuss ways that we can all work to keep our kids safer online together.
