Top tips for helping your teen curate a healthier social media feed

That’s why it’s important to help your child better understand their relationship to social media now so that they can begin to build healthier habits for a lifetime. 

The risks of social media

Social media app algorithms are designed to keep us hooked, so it’s understandable that your teen (and you!) can sometimes get sucked into endless scrolling sessions. The internet can be a fascinating place, introducing us to many things that we never would have experienced otherwise, but it can also begin to take away from the enjoyment of real-life moments and connections. 

We’re still learning more about how kids and teens are being impacted by apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat, but recent studies have shown that spending three hours a day using social media was linked to a higher risk of mental health concerns for tweens and teens. And the Surgeon General has even issued an advisory about the effects of social media on youth mental health. 

Every child is different, but spending excessive amounts of time on social media may cause:

• Disruption in sleep patterns
• Decline in academic performance
• Less time spent connecting with friends and family
• Negative impact on body image 
• An increased risk of cyberbullying, exposure to online predators, or catfishing 
• Mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression 

We know that this list can be alarming, but rest assured that there are steps you can take to help your tween or teen have a healthier relationship with their social feeds. 

How to help your teen build healthier social media habits 

Since social media is likely here to stay, it’s important to have ongoing conversations with your child about how they can use these apps to positively enhance their lives. Here are some steps you can take right now:

Have open, honest conversations. Frequently take time to talk to your teen about their relationship with social media, actively listening to their experiences while checking judgment and distractions at the door. You can start by asking thoughtful questions, like:

• What parts of social media do you enjoy? 
• What parts do you like the least? 
• How do you feel after spending time on social media? 
• What role do you want social media to play in your day-to-day life? 
• What does a healthy relationship with social media look like to you?

Teach your teen to curate their feed. Explain to your child that it’s important to tend to your social media feeds like you would a garden, removing the weeds so that there is space for healthy crops to grow. Encourage them to notice as they scroll what content or accounts bring joy, inspiration, or connection. And ask them to pay attention to what brings up unhelpful thoughts or feelings. Then they can take some time to prune out what is not serving them well by unfollowing, blocking, or muting. You can connect by offering up an example of when online content impacted the way you felt and how you handled it. 

• Talk about unhelpful thoughts. It can be easy to compare ourselves to other people’s perfectly-filtered images, but it’s not fair to compare our real, messy lives to highlight reels. Encourage your teen to notice when they hear that unhelpful voice inside their head, saying things like, “I’ll never look like that” or “My vacations are never that cool.” Being flooded with unrealistic beauty standards can take a toll on a young person’s sense of self, so help them to flip these thoughts into more positive ones like, “My body is healthy and strong, and I really like my sense of style.”
  
  
• Schedule tech breaks as a family. Remember to model healthy breaks from technology for your child. Can you work together to designate a chunk of time each day or week to unplug together? Maybe it’s taking Friday night as a “Tech Shabbat” where you can cook a meal together or have a family game night. Or maybe it’s Sunday morning so you can take a nature walk together. Can you create “screen-free zones” within your home, like the dinner table or your bedrooms?
  
  
• Help them prioritize hobbies, responsibilities, and IRL relationships. Explain to your teen that you understand it’s easy to get lost in a scrolling session and support them in better organizing their time. Help them to prioritize the things they have to do (like homework or chores), along with the things that they love to do (like spending time with friends or playing sports) before spending time on their screens.
  
  
• Teach online safety. Let your teen know that it’s easy for people to pretend that they are someone else online. Tell them to never share personal information online and to never agree to meet up with anyone that they don’t know. Encourage them to report and block all trolls and to come to you if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or if they experience bullying online.
  
  
• Ensure they have a support system in place. Let your child know that so many people have complicated relationships with social media, and they are never alone. Encourage them to come to you if they are struggling. And consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you or your teen could use support in navigating the challenges surrounding social media. 

We know that it can be difficult to stay involved with all of your teen’s online activities, but by having frequent open and honest conversations about the impact of social media, you’re letting your child know that they can always come to you, no matter what. Remember that you don’t have to do this alone, so reach out to a mental health professional anytime you could use some extra support.